sensualmagirl
Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline
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Wow... just discovered I can find jokes here too... cool 
Thought I'd share my favorite that I painstakenly typed out on MySpace.. hope you like:
Caveat: It's an Australian joke (where they don't have to tip).
A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat. They sit down and when the bartender comes over he orders a beer. The ostrich says "I'll have one too" and the cat says "Me too, but, I'm not paying!" Perplexed by the scene in front of him, the bartender went off to get the beers. When he comes back he says "That'll be $12.75. The man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out exactly $12.75. The bartender thought it was really odd all-around but, didn't say anything.
The next day, the same man came in again with the ostrich and the cat. The bartenders curiousity is really piquing now. But, still doesn't want to say anything as the man orders a beer. The ostrich says "I'll have one too" and the cat says "Me too, but, I'm not paying!" The bartender goes off, comes back and again says that's $12.75. Once again, the man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out exactly $12.75.
The next day, they come back, the man, the ostrich and the cat. The bartender is really curious now! He goes over to the guy, but before he can ask, the guy says: "I had a bad day, I need a beer with a whiskey chaser!" The ostrich says "Me too, bad day, need the same thing" and the cat says "me too! But, I'm not paying!" The bartender goes to get the drinks and hurries back to see what happens... he says that'll be "$24.33" Again, the man puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out the exact change!
Finally, this is too much for the bartender, and he asks "I got to know, what's the deal with always having the exact change? You've been in here 3 days in a row and always have the right amount."
The man says "Well, you see, that was the smartest thing I ever did. I was walking along a beach and came across a lamp. I rubbed it and a Jeannie came out to grant me 3 wishes. My first wish was that any time I wanted to buy anything I'd always have the exact amount of money I needed in my pocket."
The bartender says "Wow, that's really smart... so many people would wish for a pile of money and blow through it really fast. Now, I have to know, what's the deal with the ostrich and the cat?"
The man looks at his strange companions and then at the bartender and says "Well, that's the DUMBEST thing I ever did. My next wish was for a chick with long legs and a really tight pussy."  
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"The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give" --Eleanor Roosevelt
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