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ratio of Doms to subs - 1/28/2004 10:28:44 AM

westside

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For years I'd thought that there were always more subs than doms ( so sad).
This may be changing. What is your experience?

Wes

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 1/28/2004 12:48:33 PM

EStrict

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In online chatrooms that is what I have observed, along with the fact that there are more females than males. But, I have noted that many of the male dominants I know are *sole practioners*, and don't believe in groups, online or off...

Sandy

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 1/28/2004 6:41:40 PM

Estring

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Lol. As a Dom it always seemed to me that there were more Doms or Dommes than subs or slaves. And when you count only the real ones, the number dropped even further. But I guess it all depends on what side of the fence you are on. That is the view from my side.

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 1/29/2004 6:19:53 AM

DocHolliday

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I can see clearly your point. Here ONLINE there are about twenty Doms to every submissive. I hesitate to use the word "real" in describing a Dom or submissive, so I will say this:
In real life groups such as the one we belong to the ration seems to be equal, sometimes leaning toward more subs than Doms. I am sure, however that one day the "internet community of BDSM lifestylers" will again even its ranks out. Seems I can recall a time a couple years back when submissives were saying there weren't enough Doms...Strange world, is it not?

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 1/29/2004 8:17:19 AM

sub4hire

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I can't say for other groups. My group I own has about 700 online members and maybe 100 who randomly show up at munches.
I seem to have more Dominants than submissives. FemDoms are a very small minority.
We need more FemDoms....there seem to be a lot of male subs out there.

Although...that is only my group. I know of a group in Orange County that is all FemDom.

Gloria

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 1/30/2004 4:19:19 AM

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It may seem like their are many more sub males than Female Dominants. But once you cut out the ones who are really just looking for a Woman who will give them what they want, without offering anything much in return ( service for example), I would say We out number them.

I get amazing anounts of email from boys saying "Ma'am, I only want to serve you"...then they proceed to tell Me about all the kinky things they will allow Me to do to them. Sorry, that would be about you, and about play, not serving. Not interested, I have enough play partners. LOL

LK

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 1/30/2004 6:05:57 AM

DocHolliday

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

We need more FemDoms....there seem to be a lot of male subs out there.

Speaking for the FemDoms of the group we associate with, we would gladly FedEx you some of our abundant FemDoms in exchange for some male subs for them...lol.

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 1/30/2004 7:15:45 AM

trnmastr

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In chat rooms there are way more submissives. In person, like at parties and events it seems like more Doms.
I wonder how many online fem subs are really guys? LOL

William

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 1/30/2004 8:20:42 AM

sub4hire

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Well hey I can vouch for me being female. Although I'm not looking either.

At our parties I offer a service where everyone who wants to play can play.
Usually we do have a few more subs than Doms. Maybe thats because I
promise them safety they come out.

Responding to LK. We do have a lot of femdoms out in OC...but most of them are play Doms. Same as you were referring to as play partners. None of them want their own submissive they just want to play with all they can. The male subs who come to my group are seeking a dedicated Dom.

Oh well, I guess it just depends on where you are at the time.

Gloria

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 1/31/2004 4:04:08 AM

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Maybe you could send some of those our way, LOL. What I find here are boys who say they want to serve, and then when you get down to discussions, you find what they REALLY want is play and thats it.

I have two wonderful play partners / friends...a switch male and a Dominant female who is also a masohist. Trying to find a boy or girl who truly wants a D/s relationship that involves service as well as play seems to be difficult. I very much enjoy more formal service and am more than happy to train, alas...there seems to be little interest in that here.

LK

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 2/1/2004 9:20:39 AM

nortons

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Interesting question. I tried doing a search for Female Subs in same state as me and got 14 results.

I tried searching with the same criteria except for Male Dominants and got 43 hits.

That only covers people who have posted a profile. Traditionally men are more aggressive and women are more timid. I suspicion there are many more people browsing these ads who have not posted a profile because of shyness or not interested in meeting someone.

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 2/2/2004 12:58:28 PM

Voltare

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quote:

Source: Time Magazine, January 19, 2004

A common misperception is that most DS relationships involve dominant women—dominatrices, in the parlance—ordering around submissive men. (As a result, some feminists have come to see BDSM lifestyles as not only transgressive but progressive.) And, indeed, among the many prostitutes who offer BDSM services, more are dominant than submissive, says Dr. Paul Federoff, a University of Ottawa psychiatrist who has studied sadomasochists. "You also might see a lot of dominant women at a BDSM nightclub," he says, but "although it's not the politically correct answer, more women in the scene are choosing the submissive role." In a study Federoff co-authored last year, he found that among 1,320 self-identified BDSM practitioners who anonymously completed a Web survey, 79% of women reported being "always or usually submissive"; only 35% of men did.

While hardly conclusive evidence, this snippet from an article mentioned elsewhere

http://www.time.com/time/2004/sex/article/bondage_unbound_growing01a.html

Has some interesting statistics on what is, obviously, a very difficult group of individuals to catagorize or statistify.

Stephan
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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 11/25/2004 1:03:03 AM

BeachMystress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Although...that is only my group. I know of a group in Orange County that is all FemDom.

I'm a member of Club FEm in Orange County and attend the Costa Mesa munch. So far, while I know our male members outnumber our female members, the ratios that show up at my munch seem to be 1 to 1. The overall ratio of Domme to male subs in OC seems in my experience to be about 200 subs per Domme.

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 11/25/2004 3:46:36 AM

sterlingsweet

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I would Love to see more Lesbian Femdommes and more lesbian submissives.

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 11/30/2004 11:30:33 AM

subgreg

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I think the ratio is more dependant on sex than on role. There will always be more men searching for women, so there will always be more Doms, but not enough Dommes.

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 11/30/2004 12:26:10 PM

Mariposa

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Right on Sterling. I've been trying to find a queer domme play partner. There don't seem to be many local dykes. Alas.

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 11/30/2004 12:57:11 PM

Nvernilla

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In R/T the Doms far out number the subs, It does seem to be getting better slowly though. In my area the bdsm clubs seem to only accept subs as new members.

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 11/30/2004 4:12:51 PM

harmony3709

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The local munch I occasionally attend is mostly male Doms/female submissives, although there are several women who are switches, and I only know of one femDom. I don't ask or certainly know everyone's orientation, so we may have some male submissives, but I've been told that we don't have any who attend. I don't know if it's common in community groups or not, but our group has more couples who attend than singles. Of the singles who attend regularly, there are more submissives than Doms.

Regarding numbers of Dom to sub online; at first I was baffled because I would read statistics in BDSM articles/posts, etc. that would continually state that there were 20 female submissives to every male Dom; however, on sites such as CollarMe, a simple search of my area indicates that statistic does not seem to hold up at all. However, after having profiles on several sites for several years now and purusing profiles, my experience is that the 20:1 statistic may not be as inaccurate as I had originally thought. Mostly because I so commonly receive mail from or see profiles that are from men (Doms) who believe that BDSM sites are just a way to locate easy and willing sex partners. I would be curious to know how the statistics would change if those numbers could somehow be eliminated from the calculations. As an aside -- I only mentioned male Dom profiles because those are the ones I read and receive mail from and am sure that all categories, male/female, sub/dom, have profiles that skew an accurate statistic of Doms to subs.

As a submissive, I feel there are more female submissives than male Doms; however, I have male Dom friends who state their opinion is the other way around. Ultimately, I think in the end, it does seem to be the position one is looking from.

harmony

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 12/1/2004 6:39:16 PM

LadyPatrice

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Well, gotta look around, babycakes! <eg>

Lady Patrice

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RE: ratio of Doms to subs - 12/2/2004 8:14:11 PM

111597

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I agree with sub4hire. The Domme is in demand. My group has 600, and some are online and some are real-time. It was deisnged for the novice; however, as we have grown into our duties, we have stayed in touch.
I tried very hard to put my staff together as follows.
Me-Domme-Admin Manager
my slave_Membership Manager
slave_friend Welcome Manager
Dominant-Assit Manager
I have an artist who is into Domestic Discipline. She has her own group.
I go to munches. Love them.
I noticed in the group they have to post in, none of the ones posting go to the munch. They go to the chat.
It just depends on the group and personalities.
I am glad to report that for the most part, I have been accepted by my Dominant friends as their equal, and that makes me feel very honored.
Here is the link: http://groups.msn.com/DisciplineConnection/_whatsnew.

Mistress_Jan
Administrative Manager/DisciplineConnection

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