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Questions Questions - 3/8/2005 5:30:46 PM   
largoflslave3377


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		I am new the lifestyle and i have one question maybe more
1.Being a sub means you give yourself to a Master/Mistress under a controlled conditions where there is boundaries are clearly stated and respected.
Slave
gives himself/herself completely to someone and they allow their Master/Mistress to control any and all aspects of their lifes.
my question is my Master is saying i am his sub and if i need to do anything i have to ask for permission before doing it.
after reading all post on submissives/slaves i dont know what i am hope someone can help me.to find a way to ask him
largoflslave3377
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Questions Questions - 3/8/2005 5:40:01 PM   
Chupaflor


Posts: 17
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline 		I am new too the lifestyle too, so I read and read and read. I have seen where the two are "lumped" together when they write. IMO, the best way too handle the question, is ask. Do it when the time is right for your Dom/Sir but in order for things too work, you do need to ask which one He identifies you with, and where you identify yourself. Of course this is just my opinion, and many other experienced folks my tell you different. However I have learned from this board that honesty is always best, and too ask questions.
Hope this helps a little :)

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Questions Questions - 3/8/2005 5:52:39 PM   
largoflslave3377


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		thanks Chupaflor
yes you did say the right thing honesty is number one key to a good master/slave/sub relationships.i will be asking the question to which one he identifes me with.
yes it did help thanks alot
LargoFlSlave3377

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Questions Questions - 3/8/2005 5:54:19 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

after reading all post on submissives/slaves i dont know what i am hope someone can help me.to find a way to ask him


Does the label matter? What should be improtant is that you and your Master agree on how you are to serve and please him and you do your best to accomplish that, and he does his best to see that it is accomplished. There must be at least ten threads on here defining the difference between subs and slaves if you want to search for them.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Questions Questions - 3/8/2005 6:11:46 PM   
gretchen


Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		I´m pretty new too, but my little experience has tought me a lot about having a submissive nature.

In this relationships or any kind of contact, (I think), comunication between parts is the key to succed, and feeling comfortable and true about your own actions and desires is the power you have to make it happend (a good comunication with your Dom).

You don´t have to think too much about the labels or the duties involved. Before you choose a path, play a little in your mind. Create situations where the questions start like this: "What if...?". This has helped me a lot to solve some of my own questions about boundaries I had before and the ones I have now.

After a bit of thinking, talk to your Dom about what might bother you, and you´ll have a fuzzy idea of your own thoughts about what you can do and be.

And most important: if it doesn´t feel right, you must be opened about it and talk to your Domme.


gretchen.


(in reply to Chupaflor)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Questions Questions - 3/8/2005 9:11:51 PM   
Chupaflor


Posts: 17
Joined: 2/23/2005
Status: offline 		You are more then welcome, and proudsub is right, lables are for clothes, not relationships.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Questions Questions - 3/8/2005 9:12:50 PM   
largoflslave3377


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		thank everyone i am reading more on the subject and learning more your inputs are wounderful.i am taking everything in and talking with him tonight i am learning to communicate with him more by the day.since i have found this message board i am learning more its not what you are labled its how u serve him.
LargoFlSlave3377

(in reply to gretchen)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Questions Questions - 3/9/2005 4:48:39 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		As mentioned earlier, if you have questions like the labels and what his expectations of you are, you should ask. Always. If he gives you an answer you don't understand, you should ask him to clarify. If he gives you an answer you don't agree with, you *must* tell him your feelings. From there on, it's up to you to decide if you trust him or wish to continue to obey.

From the gist of what you are saying, though, it sounds pretty much like it's just a mix up of what the words mean. There's a raging debate elsewhere on the difference between a sub or slave, but one of the most commonly accepted beliefs is that all slaves are submissives, but not all submissives are slaves. It really falls on the shoulders of the people in the relationship to decide which is which, and what those words actually mean.

Good luck!

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Questions Questions - 3/10/2005 5:43:11 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
From a personal view, Angel would say communication is key. When starting out exploring, the 'labels' of sub/slave/bottom etc are good guides, but that is all they are. I would suggest that now you are exploring a potential relationship, you and the Dominant need to discuss Your own definitions. If you submit fully all control, you should do so, realising that the Dominants will becomes yours. That is, that His choice of whether, in His eyes you are a submissive or a slave. He will explain His thoughts about what a submissive is Vs. slave. in submitting to Him, you are accepting His chosen definition on how He sees You and wishes to name/label you.

Labels can be helpful when taking first steps... but they are only guides. Every single person here and in the community have different ideas about what and who a slave/sub/kajira is... but what they think in the end really doesnt matter. The only definition that matters is the Dominant to whom you submit... and that you are comfortable with His definition.... comfortable enough to be released into His control.

Try not to get caught up in definitions that others want to place upon you, just concentrate on communicating with the Dominant in question and enjoying the journey.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Questions Questions - 3/10/2005 5:56:03 AM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		This poor horse gets beaten more than any masochist out there....

Slave, submissive-- you are what your Dominant wants and what you have agreed to be or become under your Dominant's instruction.

I am a slave as Master has defined. What anyone else thinks about that is not a worry because I only serve Him.

Don't get hung up on "Am I a slave or a submissive?" or you will be missing the big picture, which is the relationship between you and your Dominant.

(in reply to largoflslave3377)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Questions Questions - 3/10/2005 8:38:59 AM   
largoflslave3377


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone
i am doing alot of researching as well as communicaite with the Dom/Master.i have been finding answers to any and all answers to my questions and you guys have helped and i am thanking you all for answering.someone mentioned for me to try a moderate bdsm gathering near by
thank you all
LargoFlSlave3377

(in reply to velvetvixen)
Profile   Post #: 11
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