RE: coming out as a subbie... (Full Version)

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hobbit9sub4u -> RE: coming out as a subbie... (2/22/2007 10:45:22 AM)

in reply to celeste you descrption is amising because master would never ever be that way in front of my mom, he respects her and loves her as much as i do. i was speaking more of telling her about the type of relationship we have outside the bedroom, focusing heavily on respect, an a wifes place as  being submissive to the husband. being from the sort of upbringing she is and being a very devout christian i think she would understand, as it is basically what i have been taught by her.



Celeste43 -> RE: coming out as a subbie... (2/23/2007 8:39:25 AM)

Okay, and I presumed that he wouldn't do that but considering some of the stuff you read here, you never know.

I really don't think you need to spell it out in words. If he treats you with respect and you treat him with respect it won't be noticed. For example, he'll surface occasionally from paperwork and say "Honey, could you get me more tea" and I do so without fuss. Now if I have my hands in raw chicken I'll just tell him I'll get to it in a minute but otherwise it gets no comment.

I think my oldest once asked why I did stuff for him and I just said that I like to do things for people I love. Which made her realize that I also do stuff for her for the same reason.

So my recommendation is that you wait until your mother makes a comment and you then make it clear that you enjoy making the people you love happy. She certainly will understand it because you're doing a lot for her, for the same reason.

But there is no way to comfortably break into a conversation and suddenly say "I know you're wondering why I like to do things that help my husband" because she probably doesn't think twice about it. He does things to help you for the same reason. And this isn't a Christian/Moslim/Jewish/atheist/agnostic thing. It's based in good relationship skills common to all. If you want a good relationship then you both do things that your partner likes and needs.



petcerina -> RE: coming out as a subbie... (2/25/2007 12:57:10 AM)

i wish i had the opportunity to come out on my terms instead of my Moms, but i wasn't granted that privledge. This information would have been great back then.

Personally, my advice is to never tell her. my relationship with my Mom has not been the same since. She doesn't accept this part of me. Collars are not allowed to be worn in the house and i've taken the toys out of the house (they were locked up, but she managed to figure out what was inside them).  You should be prepared for the worst.  i really really wish my Mom didn't know.  It's hard sometimes to do this knowing she doesn't support it and it feels like there is a part missing from my life because she doesn't accept who i am.



petstorm -> RE: coming out as a subbie... (2/25/2007 1:54:44 PM)

When i "come out" to people who don't know, i use "nilla" terms that they will understand. i don't come right out... oh, by the way i'm a submissive and i LOVE it when my Masters whips me! They'd try and wrestle me into a straight jacket in a heart beat! Let's face it, most people react negatively to what they don't understand.

Instead, i use terms that are familiar to them, things they can relate to. It's my nature to make the man i'm with happy, to do what he wants, how he wants, because it makes me happy to make him smile. i like to try new things, and experiment. Sometimes things get a bit wild, or a bit kinky. You get my point.

Once i have them listening, and on the same page with me, THEN i drop the ball that there's an actual lifestyle that people live... and go from there. Sometimes it only takes minutes, sometimes it takes days. You just have to go with the comfort flow. Since she's your mom, it may take longer. But then again, i knew a girl who finally got the nerve to talk to her mom about her being a submissive and found out her mother had been one for years!

You just never know. Best of luck.



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: coming out as a subbie... (2/26/2007 1:41:30 PM)

THIS is a question several dom friends and I were discussing the other day,My friend owns a young girl 19 she is very close to her family and hasn't come out yet to them.so how do you as a young slave close to your family come out to your family and friends and what would you do if they disapproved..bounty



peterK50 -> RE: coming out as a subbie... (2/28/2007 5:49:39 AM)

I believe "Coming out" to a vanilla does not have the impact we believe it does. I liken it to someone coming up to you & saying, "I really enjoy sex covered in peanut butter & marshmallow fluff". I think your reaction would be "Ohhhhh Kayyyyyy". I think theirs is pretty much the same to your submission.



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: coming out as a subbie... (2/28/2007 5:57:43 AM)

NOW girl I love peanut butter so I am adding pb and mf to my list of things to do smiles.On another side this slave I was speaking about is an only child with a very strict asian family,so therefore it creates a problem...They think she is in school and become a "good "girl" ....  



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