What are you entitled to know to give informed consent?

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What are you entitled to know to give informed consent? - 2/11/2007 6:25:57 PM

SweetAndInnocent

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As a Top, if you were playing with a new bottom who had an STD, would you expect to be informed if there was no gentital contact in the scene?

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/11/2007 6:31:38 PM

BabyNyla

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I'm not a Master ... but boredom and alcohol lead to my two cents ...When I Dommed ... I ALWAYS asked ... even if there was not going to be genital contact or anything of that nature. I am a safety freak ... and I guess I like to know EVERYTHING there is to know about the person I am sessioning with ... plus, ya never know ... ya might hit things off and then it suddenly goes where ya hadn't planned ... and I wanna be a boyscout ... always prepared ~winks~

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/11/2007 6:35:22 PM

RumpusParable

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No.

If I'm not going to be in any way involved with their genitals or fluids from them, I have as little reason to know about STDs as if we were sitting across a table having coffee together.

If I am not at risk at all, I have no reason to know other than them wanting to volunteer the information.

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/11/2007 6:37:37 PM

StacyCat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyNyla
plus, ya never know ... ya might hit things off and then it suddenly goes where ya hadn't planned ... and I wanna be a boyscout ... always prepared ~winks~

See, that borders on non consensual. If I didnt consent to genital contact with someone before the play started, I would be dammed angry if it moved into that territory. Even when things are going along swimmingly, and it seemed that consent was given, once someone is in an altered state of mind, the negotiations really shouldnt continue in a new relationship or situation.

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/11/2007 8:20:59 PM

BabyNyla

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StacyCat

quote:

ORIGINAL: BabyNyla
plus, ya never know ... ya might hit things off and then it suddenly goes where ya hadn't planned ... and I wanna be a boyscout ... always prepared ~winks~

See, that borders on non consensual. If I didnt consent to genital contact with someone before the play started, I would be dammed angry if it moved into that territory. Even when things are going along swimmingly, and it seemed that consent was given, once someone is in an altered state of mind, the negotiations really shouldnt continue in a new relationship or situation.

wasn't quite what I meant ... so I think you have misconstrued it ... I was purely speaking in terms when you meet someone and you hit it off better than you thought you would and one thing leads to the next. I never imagined I would have sex with my hubby the first night I met him ... but I was so drawn to him that after we got home from our date shit happened and it was good to already have that prior knowledge about him.

< Message edited by BabyNyla -- 2/11/2007 8:21:33 PM >

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/11/2007 9:02:47 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear SweetAndInnocent, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I must go on the assumption that in your post, you have passed the meet and greet part and, I am in a position of not knowing if there had been negotiations or not, before there was some 'play.'

That said, I would hope that the bottom/submissive/slave I was TOPPING would advise me if they had any STD and or other medical concerns before I start.

In addition, there is a good wisdom for those submissive/slave types to carry their own toys and other goodies in their own toybag; as to have dedicated toys remain so and, not to risk contamination to somebody else's toys.

I am of the hope that medical issues and limits are disclosed at the time of negotiations before play begins. I think anybody who is STD free should have the option to go ahead or back out of play with someone who does have STD. Withholding STD information is often something people have to deal with. Sometimes they don't know that they are infected and or sometimes they are too ashamed to disclose it, for fear that they won't be welcomed.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/12/2007 12:45:11 AM

MomentsofHistory

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I would expect that kind of topic to be in the before play discussions and negotiating....

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/12/2007 3:12:07 AM

Areflectionofyou

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well considering sometimes even a flogger will draw blood...its paramount to always tell if their is any type of std because bodily fluids still have their way of getting on toys.

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/12/2007 7:04:35 AM

Celeste43

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Even if you aren't planning to have sex, tools may become contaminated with bodily fluids and although the rate of transmission would be low, it should be mentioned ahead of time. Basically, the top has as much responsibility to ask about STD's and other medical issues as the bottom has. Someone should have brought the question up first. If he didn't, he's equally at fault.

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/12/2007 8:09:46 AM

toservez

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To me it is quite simple. If there is even a remote chance of fluids from a person with a STD coming into contact with another then that person has the obligation to inform that person. It does not matter what role or dynamic.

It is simply not responsible to think that if an accident happens or things get carried away in a good or bad way that the person who has STD can make a sound judgment during the time of play and/or can prevent something that would be an exposure of risk to the other.

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/12/2007 10:49:37 AM

MagiksSlave

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to have informed consent you must know EVERYTHING.. or els it really isnt informed is it...Befor I playing usualy it is asked if a person is clean if they lie then they have removed all consent and well there are other issues

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RE: What are you entitled to know to give informed cons... - 2/12/2007 7:27:35 PM

hawkwolf7

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quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

To me it is quite simple. If there is even a remote chance of fluids from a person with a STD coming into contact with another then that person has the obligation to inform that person. It does not matter what role or dynamic.

It is simply not responsible to think that if an accident happens or things get carried away in a good or bad way that the person who has STD can make a sound judgment during the time of play and/or can prevent something that would be an exposure of risk to the other.

That captures it precisely.

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