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LadyAngelika -> RE: Erotic Humiliation and Embarrassment: Weighing In? (3/11/2005 6:19:55 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FragileRose
In real life, nobody enjoys being humiliated or embarrassed.
I don’t know if that statement is accurate. Probably most don’t. Sometimes people adore it. A little example is once I was in a hardware store with a male friend who knows about my kink but is not really kinky himself (well he is a little curious, but not so keen). As I walked towards the aisle with the spools of rope, I motioned a young male clerk over. I indicated that I wanted to purchase 15 metres of rope and when he asked me which kind, I turned and looked my male friend up and down and then looked back at the clerks and said “one that doesn’t leave rope burns”. Both boys had blush red cheeks. I finally put the clerk out of his misery and told him 0.5cm silk rope. He stayed red the whole time he measured out the rope. To this day, my friend goes around and tells mutual friends how “humiliating” it was when I did that to him, but he laughs about it. Did he really hate it? I mean, that was non-consensual humiliation play on my part… tsk tsk. ;-)
quote:
ORIGINAL: FragileRose
In BDSM some people immensely enjoy erotic humiliation and embarrassment. I don't know is there is a gender bias or not - I read somewhere for instance that women submissives often do not respond well to verbal humiliation, perhaps because women have to take it up to the chin every day.
I’ve met many submissive women who react very well to humiliation. They also say that this type of humiliation play has helped them get stronger in every day life. Personally, I never take it on the chin. If I see a swing coming towards me, I’m usually pretty good at diverting. And if they actually get one in, it’s their balls <weg>.
quote:
ORIGINAL: FragileRose
1) What kinds of humiliation and embarrassement do you enjoy the most?
I prefer mental/physical humiliation over verbal, though now and then, verbal can be fun. I just find sometimes the verbal humiliation is too easy, especially if it's just insults. Another important factor for humiliation play is getting inside the submissive’s head. The most successful humiliation play I have had was when I understood what exactly was humiliating to my sub.
quote:
ORIGINAL: FragileRose
2) Are you able to deal directly with your Master/submissive to clear up those times when humiliation and embarrassment are perceived as cruel rather than exciting - recognizing that some people will enjoy cruelty, but many don't.
I find it’s important to gage just how much humiliation a sub can handle. For some, pushing humiliation limits, even if it goes into the difficult to do, hard to swallow category, just going through with it is a rush. For others, there are very strong boundaries that I don’t dare push.
quote:
ORIGINAL: FragileRose
3) Can you identify any specific benefits to being humiliated or embarrassed - for instance, learning to be less sensitive and enjoying being out of control when it is happening.
As I said earlier on, some subs I know say that it make them stronger and more resilient in every day life. For others, it gives them a sense of security.
quote:
ORIGINAL: FragileRose
For some people, humiliation and embarrassment may be too close to Sadism for comfort. I am especially interested in hearing from non-Masochists involved in D/s relationships for whom humiliation and embarrassment may be challenging or exciting.
Though I am Sadistic, not all my subs are masochists. Most of them do however enjoy a good dose of humiliation play.
- LA
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