When you're wrong

When you're wrong (Full Version)

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krikket -> When you're wrong (2/14/2007 1:49:03 PM)
After being on these boards for a while now, I know that "our" dominants aren't wrong very often..but..(and isn't there always a but..lol).. If you find out that you did indeed punish your submissive partner in (gasp) error, what do you do? Inquiring minds and all that.... cheers jk

topcat -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 1:53:34 PM)
Dear JK- Punish them more- for my sins... Stay warm, Lawrence

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 1:57:28 PM)
Let me say this is highly unlikely as I don't punish without lots of discussion and understanding beforehand. It's part of why I ask them directly if they understand why they are being punished and what their behavior should do in the future. But I might scold or snap at them wrongly before getting the whole picture. And yeah, I pretty much apologize immediately, discuss what happened and move on. Hopefully next time I'll remember and not snap so quickly. http://www.collarchat.com/m_255870/mpage_1/key_punishes%252Cdom/tm.htm#255875 Is there ever a case where a dom punishes himself? http://www.collarchat.com/m_316886/mpage_1/key_master%2Cmistakes/tm.htm Dominant Accountability http://www.collarchat.com/m_156881/mpage_1/key_master%2Cmistakes/tm.htm So whose responsibility is it? http://www.collarchat.com/m_494974/mpage_1/key_wrong/tm.htm#495237 when we are wrong

onestandingstill -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 2:12:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: krikket After being on these boards for a while now, I know that "our" dominants aren't wrong very often..but..(and isn't there always a but..lol).. If you find out that you did indeed punish your submissive partner in (gasp) error, what do you do? Inquiring minds and all that.... cheers jk I'd hope they would be mature enough to accept responsibility for their mistake and admit it. From what I see 1/2 are mature enough to admit when they are wrong or when they wrong someone, but the other half (like topcat said HOPEFULLY JOKING!!!) would just punish the sub more for their own shortcomings. I find those that fall into the 2nd catagory are too immature to be considered Dominants in my eyes. I consider those the preditor players that make it bad for the ones who try hard to do things right. suzanne

Lashra -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 2:24:07 PM)
Admit that I was wrong and give them a sincere apology. We are all human we all make mistakes anyone who says that they don't is full of shit. ~Lashra

Wyrd -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 2:27:57 PM)
Me wrong? NEVER! Actually I am prone to fucking up, ALOT, and in major earth shattering ways, best I can do is apologise, correct and move on, and attempt not to make the same mistake again.

MagiksSlave -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 3:19:40 PM)
Punishement by mistake should never happen.. There should be enough trust in the relationship and talking befor a punishment that if the sub said I really didnt do this then the Dom would beleave them, if that trust isnt there or the nessisery talking out and letting a sub know why they are beeing punished beforhand isnt done then there is something far greater wrong then getting an unearned spanking. Magik's slave

DiurnalVampire -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 3:26:12 PM)
I have punished quickly when I knew for a fact that they were guilty of the offense, without a doubt. If there is any possibility that they arent, or theres a miscommunication about there actualy being an offense at all, I will discuss the point in detail before the punishment is done. Usually by the end of it, they feel so guilty if they actualy did do somehting wron, the punishment is almost unnecessary. I have gotten snappy with Angel over things that werent truly offenses before, and apologied afterwards. Unfortunately, stress can shorten ones fuse, which is why I avoid actual physical punishment unless the offense is a major one. I have nothing against admitting I can be wrong. I have nothing against apologizing. However, Angel knows this and some of the others I have known would hav ebeen better off learning it, if I am open enough to admit I made a mistake, and you throw it up in my face... we are going to have problems. My 2 cents DV

SCDommie -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 4:01:04 PM)
I have apologized to an open group and to my slave before, but I have moved on. A Dom/me should not be publically punished for something they have done wrong. We have a few that probably should leave the life all together, but still they are the Dominant person involved. SCD

Kinkypupper -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 4:54:20 PM)
I admit my mistake and remind her that we both are growing and will continue to grow together for a very long time

Arastella -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 5:14:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: topcat Dear JK- Punish them more- for my sins... Stay warm, Lawrence ur joking right???

Arastella -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 5:17:48 PM)
Of course admit your wrong and apologize, then possibly do something for her. Satisfy her without her having to do it back, reward her, something like that. Even holding her and kissing and caressing her is good too. This is just coming from a sub who would appreciate that, who has a Mistress who does that kinda thing (the last one).

Archer -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 5:25:03 PM)
Man it would be pretty tough for me to get all the way to punishment without noticing I was in error. Since before I get to punishment I have to go through Counciling and Retraining for the same offense type. But assuming somehow I had gone through them both and then gotten to a punishment and I was in error, I'd appologize certainly, and make some form of ammends.

WhiplashSmile -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 5:39:32 PM)
I apologize and admit my mistake. This maintains or strengthens trust and respect, which keeps the relationship in balance. A sub can and will unsubmit herself away from a Bad Master. A Master should feel secure in who he is, secure enough to admit to a mistake, own up to it, and apologize. There is a line between a sub and a slave. A true slave will tolerate more than a submissive, however they too have a limit to the BS a Dom/Master can dish out. Regardless of the roles, if the punish is not for just reason, then it's mindless punishment. I suspect there are Masters which try to pass off unjust punishment as a form of use and abuse to a slave. For some couples which are living a hardcore lifestyle, where the DOM/MASTER is always right, even when he is wrong, not a big deal to be wrong, and no need to apologize I guess.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 6:49:12 PM)
Arastella, I'm not going to reward someone just because I fucked up. I don't do that kind of guilt (I tend not to do guilt much at all). I'll let them know I am sincerely sorry and do what I can to help move on and stay positive, but I won't give them extra snugglies or presents just because I made a mistake- nor would I allow them to do it for me (because I don't foster guilt in others either).

ownedgirlie -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 6:59:30 PM)
As others have said...full fledged punishment, in my case, is never inflicted until he has a clear understanding of what took place. He might react to something - snap at me or come down hard on me or something like that...but if I state my case clearly and understandably, and he sees he was in error, we simply move on. I've said before in other threads, my Master has about a 95% success rate of being right on target. Knowing that, I can live with the other 5%. It's simply part of being his slave. I don't need his apology. I can always tell when he recognizes an error. I am grateful for the recognition and for the opportunity to explain myself. Once he sees the complete picture, we both move on. Oh yeah sure I might sniffle a bit, but it does neither of us any good to hang on to it.

JasonF -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 7:08:03 PM)
(fast reply to OP) I fess up, just like I would in any other human relationship. You have to say "my bad" every now and then if you want credibility for those times you seem wrong but really are right. Nobody is perfect, and I don't think my baby would expect me to be either.

Arastella -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 7:10:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Arastella, I'm not going to reward someone just because I fucked up. I don't do that kind of guilt (I tend not to do guilt much at all). I'll let them know I am sincerely sorry and do what I can to help move on and stay positive, but I won't give them extra snugglies or presents just because I made a mistake- nor would I allow them to do it for me (because I don't foster guilt in others either). Fine and I never said you did. I was simply giving the guy some advice from my own POV. You're beginning to annoy me. For once, try responding to the person posting, as opposed to flaming someone elses beliefs, k?

LadyHugs -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 7:15:22 PM)
Dear krikket, Ladies and Gentlemen; You asked, should a Dominant punish a slave and come to find that it was in error, what would you (in a general question) do. As for me--I would apologize and communicate how the wires were crossed and or how I missed what I needed to see and or understand and comprehend what I saw, heard or witnessed. We're human and everybody can make mistakes. Good to see you krikket. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

MaryT -> RE: When you're wrong (2/14/2007 8:04:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: krikket If you find out that you did indeed punish your submissive partner in (gasp) error, what do you do? Hopefully the dominant would learn to ask and learn to listen.

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