Confused by my Dom (Full Version)

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grlneedstolearn -> Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 10:15:11 AM)

Good morning/afternoon to everyone,
     I'm a little confused by what my dom told me yesterday while we were playing. He told me that this wasn't the lifestyle for me, I don't agree with that, but than he told me that we have more of a daddy/little girl relationship. So was he telling me that no this isn't for me, yet you are my little girl and that you will be a good submissive girl? I'm confused on the message he's giving me. Any insight on what this could mean to you other Masters, Doms.
  Thank you



domahpet -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 10:18:24 AM)

im a lil girl, means i need guidence and care, that what daddys are for :)



grlneedstolearn -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 10:21:34 AM)

So he's telling me than that yes i would be a good submissive and that this is for me? i've had prior training, but nothing like this



barefootgal -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 10:22:10 AM)

Seems like something you should ask him, rather than us.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 10:29:42 AM)

There is a generalized difference between "little girl" and "submissive" just as there is between "wife" and "submissive"- although obviously one person can be both quite easily.

You're really just going to have to talk to him and figure what he means, where he wants the relationship to go and whether it will work for you.



onestandingstill -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 10:34:28 AM)

If the conversation went like that there's nothing but confusion in his statements.
Maybe he's wanting to keep you out of communicating with others and all to himself as what he meant about the lifestyle's not for you even though you're his good girl and he agrees you're a sumbissive.
I agree with everyone else about asking him.
I'd have said How do you feel I'm a good girl and submissive, but the lifestyle's not for me.
He needs to explain what he meant for sure as the rest of us seem to be as confused as you.
suzanne



toservez -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 12:51:44 PM)

I cannot make any guess based on what OP describes. You can be a baby girl and be totally submissive and you can just be a baby girl. At best I can offer was the original relationship meant to be D/s and nothing more and it evolved into a significant age play dynamic?

You have to ask for details and go over with it with him to see what he meant and if you are on the same page. Could be a totally innocent comment or him making, at least in his mind, some type of statement that the relationship is not what he thought it was going to be.

Without any context the actual thing written does sound confusing but I do not see anything in it that is bad or questioning in it.



moonspirit43 -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 1:36:10 PM)

You'd have to ask him what he meant.  Just like you can't read his mind, we have no idea what is going on in it either.



Arastella -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 2:15:38 PM)

I agree with everyone else.  Talk to HIM.  He'd know better than anyone else what he meant by it.



MasterMataeo -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 2:17:30 PM)

kinda sounds like he likes you for less than what you may think you have to offer ,, he may have the daddy / lil girl feelings  due to the lack of exp tht you may have and is wanting more ,, if he told you that the lifestyle wasn't for you and you think it is , you might want to entertain the idea of either talking with him on a "grown up girl" level ,, or think about moving on



Kinkypupper -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 2:41:09 PM)

YOU need to make that decision not your Dom.
how do YOU feel.. it maybe that the 2 of you are looking for different things



adaddysgirl -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 4:48:53 PM)

When i was searching for a dom, i had put in my profile that i was looking for a Daddy Dom.  A dom, whose profile indicated an interest in Gor, contacted me and said that although he felt he was more of a Master type, he was interested in 'trying out' the Daddy Dom thing.  Needless to say, that didn't go very far.  At one point, he said 'You really are a daddys girl, aren't you'?  (Duh!)
 
With the limited information provided, i am only guessing that by your profile, your partner might have been expecting more of a slave type sub, but he sees more of the lil girl qualities?  This is only a guess.  Now i would have no idea if he is interested in that dynamic but that might be the reference he made of this not being the lifestyle for you....meaning a Master/slave one as opposed to a Daddy/girl one.  Again, just a guess.
 
Daddysgirl



FukinTroll -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 4:53:19 PM)

He may be saying that he want's you this way and not that way. Do not make that changes unless you are sure it will be a happy change.



classykindasassy -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 7:45:43 PM)

I don't think it's for anyone to say whether the lifestyle is for you, except you.

Sounds to me that he is disappointed in the dynamic between you, he wants something different, and he picked a bad way of articulating it.



Arpig -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/15/2007 7:46:26 PM)

quote:

Seems like something you should ask him, rather than us.

What she said



Dreamz423 -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/16/2007 5:54:42 AM)

The key to any good relationship dynamic is of course, communication; particularily when there is a bdsm dynamic involved. While he may have made those statements with a motive as simple as testing your reaction, if you are truely concerned about it, talk about it with him.



chainedfarida -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/16/2007 9:01:57 AM)

talking and asking the questions, (smiles communication) i agree is the most important part of any relationship.

sincerely far



SirDominic -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/17/2007 11:34:59 AM)

Although I agree with the others that you need to talk to your Dom about this, I do have some other observations.

I don't like that he is telling you this isn't the lifestyle for you, then telling you what IS the lifestyle for you. It is not his place to make such decisions. What the lifestyle means to you is up to you, not him.

It sounds to me like he is trying to alter your relationship midstream by telling you he knows better than you do what you want/need. It is coercive. I would step back and have a very serious talk with him about what each of your expectations are. If they don't match, you need to move on. Don't let him drag you where you don't want to go.

Namaste, Sir Dominic



amuzingtoyou -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/17/2007 4:48:32 PM)

it isn't for him to decide if this lifestyle is for you, but for you to decide for yourself what it is you want for yourself. I don't believe there are hardset rules about what the lifestyle is. It means different things to different people. Some people have a Master/slave dynamic. Some have a Dominant/submissive dynamic. Some are lovers that top and bottom. Some are Daddies and babygirls. IT really is what you want it to be. I think you both need to sit down and have a talk about expectations.



pickingrinnin -> RE: Confused by my Dom (2/17/2007 5:11:17 PM)

Ask him.  Don't hedge around it - be direct, so there is no confusion.

- Jesse



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