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a carreer - 2/16/2007 9:11:29 AM

chainedfarida

Posts: 101
Joined: 1/6/2007
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after being released i am now focusing all my attention to my schooling and work. am curious to hear from others regarding submissives and careers, and should one put their submissive side on hold until later.

sincerely far

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 9:17:45 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
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Being submissive makes you no different from anyone else. After a relationship ends, most people it is beneficial to take some time off before entering into another. The amount of time and reasons for are a case by case basis depending on the person and circumstance.

As far as schooling and a career versus being submissive I do not understand why this is one or the other. Being submissive whether in a relationship, looking for a relationship or not in a relationship should not really be a factor unless you have found from past experience you have trouble doing them together. If that is the case I would suggest that is maybe a problem to work through or seek help for. Being submissive is part of who you are but should not exclude other things in your life.

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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 9:19:05 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I dont think you necessarily have to put your submissive side on hold. You do, however, have to make your priorities extremely clear if you do happen to meet someone new. It is now up to you and you alone to put your life where you want it. Before you can become someone's property gain, you have to make sure that in the event that you are on your own, you are able to take proper care of yourself. Education and a job are essential.
Although it makes out relationshop far more difficult, Angel and I agreed that his education and his career come before our relationship. As long as a potential Master can hold the same priorities as you do, and can provide support, help and motivation than they can help you with your goals rather than hinder.
Just keep your goals in mind, and you should do just fine. Once you can make it on your own, you can be more of an asset to someone else.

Good luck, and if you ever ned to talk, PMs are always avaialble
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to chainedfarida)

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 10:17:44 AM

chainedfarida

Posts: 101
Joined: 1/6/2007
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thank you both for your words, i know i will come out good just getting there right now is the challenge

sincerely far

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 10:24:20 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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I don't see why one should have to be put either on hold for the other. I am a student and his kitten at the same time. He wants me to finish college so he has made it part of my duties to him to do my work.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 2/16/2007 10:26:28 AM >

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 10:28:02 AM

viperess

Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
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Greetings,
It is possiable to do both. It may mean a lot of multitasking but then again that is something slaves are very good at. i agree it is something you would need to discuss with any future Masters because while most like having an educated and productive slave there are some who want there to be nothing else in their slaves life except them. i wish you the best of luck.
viperess slave of CTDOM4sub

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 10:35:34 AM

andyskayla

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/16/2007
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For me the two have a symbiotic relationship. I have a career where I have a lot of authority and responsibility. When I have had to temp for extra money and be submissive all day, I had no submissive energy left at night, but the authority I have during the day nourishes that part of myself.

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 10:46:34 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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let's see, i'm a submissive, single mom of 2 and work at the radio station - yeah, i'm one busy, multi-tasking woman and there are times when 2 out of the 3 or all 3 collide at the same time. i don't see my submissiveness taking a back seat since it has improved my life for the bettter - i'm more confident than i ever was before meeting Daddy.

however, you do what's best for you, OP. if you feel that you need to take a break, then do so. no matter what, you're still a submissive but not in the full-time capacity.

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 10:49:54 AM

chainedfarida

Posts: 101
Joined: 1/6/2007
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thanks

far

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 11:07:29 AM

SimplyMichael

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While I believe college doesn't exactly provide an education in the traditional sense (there are many ways to become worldly) I would not want a woman who wasn't my intellectual equal. One of the many reasons I adore my ex is because she was in many ways MORE intellectual and intelligent than I am and she enriched my life because of that.

Anyone who would make you put your education on hold to "serve" them would be a pretty poor choice of partner if you ask me.

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 11:55:54 AM

porthuronsub

Posts: 339
Joined: 4/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedfarida

after being released i am now focusing all my attention to my schooling and work. am curious to hear from others regarding submissives and careers, and should one put their submissive side on hold until later.

sincerely far

I think putting your education on hold would be a huge mistake...afterall you are ultimately responsible for yourself in this world. Even if you were in a perfect relationship, if something happened to that person you would be expected to support yourself and possibly them as well.
My Mistress understood that I was currently attending school to obtain a degree in Nursing and she fully supports it. She doesn't like stupid subs, or for that matter people in general and was impressed with me for furthering my education.
I would hope that you would find someone that wants you to increase your intelligence and doesn't use a lack of eduaction as leverage over you. Your relationship with your master should be the same as any good vanilla relationship where you want to see each other grow. Just my humble opinion....

(in reply to chainedfarida)

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 1:18:43 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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It's not about "submissive side"- what is there to put over? That would be like asking if someone should put their "heterosexual side" to the side.

There is a time to focus on certain areas of life which necessitate that you not put as much energy into forming or maintaining a relationship. Nothing wrong with that, in fact I'd prefer people did that rather than burn themselves out.

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 1:53:13 PM

JackM1

Posts: 137
Joined: 2/3/2007
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its possible! im also a full time student who works and has other weekly activities, and a sub to boot! a good Dom will always understand that your future is more important than anything else. relationships may come and go, but you need a way to support yourself incase you find yourself totaly alone(i know, its not a great thing to think about, but its reality!) for me personaly, W/we are both very busy with our other activities, and sometimes go without seeing one another for weeks, only having communication through the internet and cell phones. not being able to see Him often really kills me, but in the end i know that having that degree and stability will help us in the end by giving me more freedoms in the near-distant future.

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 2:36:29 PM

Magdalena156

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Joined: 2/13/2007
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That's where communication comes into play. Whoever winds up being my Dom will have to understand that my career helps me pay my mortgage and the fact that I act as a priestess in my religious community. I have numerous responsibilities. The ideal Dom would nurture and cherish that and punish me when I don't fulfill them to be best of my ability versus forcing me to abandon them.

-m

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Lux et umbra vicissim, sed semper amor.

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 2:56:20 PM

chainedfarida

Posts: 101
Joined: 1/6/2007
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thank You LA,

i think i am at the time for me when it is as you say time to focus on certain areas that necessitate that i do not put as much energy into forming a relationship. thank you, i appreciate hearing it.

sincerely far

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 4:15:38 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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During my life I've been a daughter, student, wife, mother, secretary, and mother, with lots of over lapping, and through it all a submissive, although I'm sure there are those who would laugh themselves silly over such an idea..lol. I will admit that there are also times when my focus and concentration has been on my other "jobs", rather than myself or what I wanted/needed to be fulfilled as a woman/submissive. I think that's true for all of us, no matter what gender or orientation we hold. If I had to do it all over again I've no doubt I'd make a lot of the same decisions, but wish I'd had more time as a student, or perhaps taken a different path in my studies than I did. It's a fact of life that for "most" an education is the most important gift we can give ourselves, and it has nothing to do with being a sub or Dom. If you have a partner a second income isn't always a luxury but a necessity. As a single person we also need to work. None of us really knows what the future holds, but I think it's safe to say that it's not always what we envisioned when we were young. Personally I see no reason why you'd have to put your submissive side on hold in order to be a student or anything else in life we become.

Good luck..
jimini

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 4:51:49 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I am returning to graduate school. I want to become a PhD in anthropology. My Daddy is very supportive of this. Not all D/s relationships are about domestic service. I love doing domestic things for my Daddy, but like he says, he can hire a maid, send out the laundry, shop for food on the internet... he does not need me for these things. I do them when I am with him as a matter of course. He likes ordering me to sit down and watch him cook too... I have a service kink, but I have other things that need doing, like making money and getting my post secondary education.

It does not make me less submissive because he has this view. It pleases him to have a submissive like me, so there is no conflict. He wants me to read what he tells me to, watch the movies he likes, and to be informed about things so that when he chooses to talk about them I can make an informed comment. This is a form of submission to me, I am allowing my intellect to be dominated by him, and to be molded somewhat. It is different than other people, but it works for us so far.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 6:36:44 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
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i have a very happy and lively school career (and job) right now, and i plan to have a very long career later as a teacher, so...i definitely believe one can be submissive and have other stuff going on at the same time :)

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RE: a carreer - 2/16/2007 6:37:10 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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It is not possible for me to put my "submissive side" on hold. It isn't a "side" to me; it is who I am and what I must be in a relationship. You can decide to not enter into any relationships for the time being, but that is different, I think.

In my relationship, I work full time and I am in school - my Master insisted I fulfill my desire for an education. He balances my time accordingly. There have been times when he pulled back assignments so that I could focus on school or work. This was very difficult for me, as I wanted to be working for him and pleasing to him, but he assured me that doing what I was doing was obeying him and pleasing to him.

I think one can indeed "do it all" but with proper balance and a Dominant who can manage it well.

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RE: a carreer - 2/17/2007 1:15:48 AM

subboi3382

Posts: 379
Joined: 8/4/2005
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I'm in school right now and still mostly undecided about my career path but I think I am going to go into massage therapy. It is real fun and kinda of a sub's career, if you think about it and can be very felxible.

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