Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: ProDommes...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: ProDommes... Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: ProDommes... - 2/19/2007 2:07:11 PM   
GuidingLite


Posts: 233
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		When she's tied up and secured you can bet your arse it is me who has total control over her. 

(in reply to KaramelGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: ProDommes... - 2/19/2007 6:29:24 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ineedotk

You mention that "both are in control of getting their needs met".  That would be the ONLY control each has - getting their own needs met.  But NEITHER is in control of the other person.  Any one of the two could drop the other at any time.  So you're talking about two different types of control here - control over oneself and control over another person.  Each controls him/herself but not the other person.


I think you’re right in feeling that neither has control over the other but we live in a haphazard and ever-changing world whereby there is no real control.  However, within our lifestyle, between pros and their clients, doms and their subs or slaves, there still remains yet an "implied" sense of control whereby one gives up the control and the other takes it.  This "power exchange" is the premise of our lifestyle. 

(in reply to ineedotk)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: ProDommes... - 2/19/2007 11:35:05 PM   
ineedotk


Posts: 109
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Correct, in that rendering of control is, well, within a controlled (safe) environment.  I perceive it as a submissive type of control performed by BOTH parties (Domme AND sub).  But the thing is, it's only rendered control that can be taken back by the one doing the rendering.  It's not true control, it's control within scene.  If it was true control, the other would not be able to back out of the situation.  THAT would be true slavery.  And if that were the case, you now have a felony case on your hands.

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 5:55:09 AM   
millamber457


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/8/2007
Status: offline 		yeah , lol you nailed me , i am married , and can't get that which i need from my partner. and also i was tryin to get back on track on the boards , yeah i'm new here too , and i did try a pro or two , and just couldn't get i dunno the right word , that connection , i needed to the Domme . i'm not complaining , i was curiouse on other peoples take on it , and as much as i need the scene , i can't afford to play , if i pay , in all honesty , but thanks for welcoming me to the boards

_____________________________

if it's worth doing , then it's worth doin well

(in reply to ineedotk)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 6:15:54 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		As lifestyle, not pro, domme, how would I get anything from being in a relationship with a married man who is most likely cheating on his wife?   How would I have control over someone when I would be a priority somewhere after their wife, their kids, their job, running errands on a Saturday, taking out the garbage?  Why would I want to have a deep personal connection to someone who I know has no issue lying to the woman he's married to (and thus I'd be a fool to think he was being honest to me)?  Why would I want a deep personal connection to someone who is unlikely to be emotionally available (except maybe every third Thursday when the kids have soccer practice and the wife goes to see her mother)?

Just curious as to why you would think that you can have this great relationship with a lifestyle domme when it's just leftover scraps that she would be offered.

While you may indeed be one of the rare married men who has an open poly relationship with his wife with good communication and dialog....the reality is that is almost never the case when a married man is looking.

quote:

ORIGINAL: millamber457

but as a sub , and not shall we say a player , how can you get anything out of a play for pay relationship? you can't give total control to a pro , even if your a regular , that personal connection can not , and never will be there . isn't submission supposed to be a warm feeling , even though it's cold ?

quote:

ORIGINAL: millamber457

yeah , lol you nailed me , i am married , and can't get that which i need from my partner. and also i was tryin to get back on track on the boards , yeah i'm new here too , and i did try a pro or two , and just couldn't get i dunno the right word , that connection , i needed to the Domme . i'm not complaining , i was curiouse on other peoples take on it , and as much as i need the scene , i can't afford to play , if i pay , in all honesty , but thanks for welcoming me to the boards


< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 2/20/2007 6:21:23 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to millamber457)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 6:24:46 AM   
millamber457


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/8/2007
Status: offline 		and your right , I'm not here to argue and or cause a fight , maybe what i'm looking for is more of a freindship , than being someones total slave , and i would never expect any reply , other than that , from a great lady as yourself , i enjoy insites and different opinions , and hope to find people interested in entertaining mine , though they are probably bad ones , since i know very little of the lifestyle end of things . Yes i respect the stance you take , and where it comes from , and the creator knows , i don't want to arouse anger in anyone

_____________________________

if it's worth doing , then it's worth doin well

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 6:29:33 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		I just find it very interesting that seeing a prodomme is so automatically written off as "not good enough, lacking, not real" so quickly as opposed to what such a person could offer a lifestyle domme in a relationship situation.

I think what it comes down to is that MANY men want the equivalent of sessions without actually having to pay for it....but don't see how unrealistic that is.

Every interaction requires investment of something - either of yourself or of finances.   If all you have of yourself to offer is the dregs...then is that really enough?

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 2/20/2007 6:33:03 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to millamber457)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 6:33:56 AM   
millamber457


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/8/2007
Status: offline 		it wasn't that i found it totaly lacking , but there was no level of intamacy , thats why i felt lost after the experiences i have had , i not saying pro's are bad , far from it , they offer us the fantasy , and in some cases just what some of us need , want and desire . and no i'm not looking at this sexualy far from it , maybe i just have a warped or twisted idea , of what my expectations are

_____________________________

if it's worth doing , then it's worth doin well

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 6:35:49 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: millamber457

it wasn't that i found it totaly lacking , but there was no level of intamacy , thats why i felt lost after the experiences i have had , i not saying pro's are bad , far from it , they offer us the fantasy , and in some cases just what some of us need , want and desire . and no i'm not looking at this sexualy far from it , maybe i just have a warped or twisted idea , of what my expectations are



But what level of intimacy are you really able to cultivate in your situation?

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to millamber457)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 6:39:27 AM   
millamber457


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/8/2007
Status: offline 		well, a freindship at least , and i believe that can be had between a Dom/me and a sub , and therin would lie an intamacy , a closeness that may eventually grow between a client , and a Pro , true , but usually it's rare to see that happen

_____________________________

if it's worth doing , then it's worth doin well

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 7:04:34 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Seriously - don't think that by labeling the relationship you are looking for as a "friendship" means that it's any less of a relationship and requires you to bring less to the table as opposed to calling it anything else.

There are plenty of married men who approached me wanting to be "my friend" so long as that friendship included me engaging in kinky play on their schedule of availability and need.  That's not friendship - that's using someone.

I don't need friends like that.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to millamber457)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 7:34:02 AM   
millamber457


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/8/2007
Status: offline 		your absolutely right , that is using , and we are asses , if we can't see that the Domme , does need something in return , all relationships , are give and take . and making friends , and kinky play are to me at least two different animals . and with any givin relationship , you get out what you put in . maybe your missreading what i'm trying to say , or i'm really just lousey at trying to get my idea across, in a friendship , if the both of you decide to go there (kinky play ) thats something you agree to do as friends . but to have expectations , that thats gonna happen , with a friend , i would be fooling myself , expecting it .

_____________________________

if it's worth doing , then it's worth doin well

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: ProDommes... - 2/20/2007 11:33:02 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul

I am not asking this question to piss anyone off but I have often wondered this ....
if You are paid for Your services, who really has the control?

You miss the point. Pro Domination is a business transaction. Considering it to be the same as lifestyle Domination to the point of asking who has the power is like assuming that all police depts are the same as the one on the old NYPD Blues show. TV, movies and Pro Domination require suspension of disbelief.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: ProDommes... - 2/26/2007 2:55:18 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

:rlmao:  a fat submissive thread WOULD be hilarious.


Actually i was responding to
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Oh yeah, I tell the doctors I'm in charge everytime I call for an appointment.   M

(in reply to GuidingLite)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: ProDommes... - 2/26/2007 3:05:41 PM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi
How long before the laughter dies down enough to finish the call?
I've no idea how this makes sense in response to anything I said...
On the other hand, I think this is one of the better pro threads to date for not becoming about hate of what he/she doesn't understand.    M


You said "Oh yeah, I tell the doctors I'm in charge everytime I call for an appointment.   M"

Now, if i called my doctor and told her i was in charge, there would probibly be laughter. Thus, my comment...

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: ProDommes... - 2/26/2007 4:10:20 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Ahhh, got it, thanks for clearing it up.     M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to orfunboi)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: ProDommes... - 2/26/2007 4:17:02 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		NOOOOOooooo!  I call "Red" on this subject!


quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial
Actually I have never seen a fat submissive thread, maybe we should start one.


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to VeryMercurial)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: ProDommes... - 2/26/2007 4:28:47 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		You are so right about this subject, Ms. Sonnet.
I had a married male sub who approached me and I reluctantly
agreed to doing sessions with him and having him clean my apartment.
There was no sexual contact or sexual relationship.
 
He was never content with what was offered, became more demanding, jealous and possessive. 
I had to cut all forms of communication with him because he
would show up at munches and parties trying to pester me for attention.
 
 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: ProDommes... - 2/26/2007 5:01:17 PM   
MissBabydoll


Posts: 62
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul

I am not asking this question to piss anyone off but I have often wondered this ....
if You are paid for Your services, who really has the control?

You miss the point. Pro Domination is a business transaction. Considering it to be the same as lifestyle Domination to the point of asking who has the power is like assuming that all police depts are the same as the one on the old NYPD Blues show. TV, movies and Pro Domination require suspension of disbelief.


Wow--I and the other Pros who chimed in about this sure wasted our words on you, didn't we? In your mind, there are two completely different kinds of women who call themselves Dommes--Pros, who according to you are just actresses playing a role, and Lifestylers like yourself, who are of course "real." Yawn...

I even went to the trouble of explaining that (like some other "Pros" I know) I screen prospective subs carefully, make sure that we're kink-compatible (and otherwise compatible too) and then build long-term relationships with them. I know other Pros who work the same way. (You can find some right here on Collarme--most Pros who are any good are also Lifestyle, just as most who are any good have been at least demo subs and also switches to some extent.) I also know Dommes who would describe themselves as basically Lifestyle but who have subs who regularly tribute them with gifts of various sorts, quite lavishly. What's more, you implicitly assume that as Pros we don't get into Dom space and have a real D/s experience if a sub is tributing us. That's really arrogant. It would be like me saying that a Lifestyler who plays casually with a sub at a party can't be having a real D/s experience because she doesn't know the guy. The fact is, I simply *can't* dom effectively if I don't feel that connection. And I know other Pros for whom this is true.

Your attitude reminds me of the way people have habitually approached gender identity and sexual orientation--always either/or, one or the other. When even Alfred Kinsey back in the 1950s showed that most people are somewhere on a continuum of orientation, and modern gender research shows that most people are not strictly at either end of the masculine-feminine continuum. Dommes are on a continuum too--"pure" Lifestylers like yourself at one end, and at the other by-the-hour dungeon Pros who in their own sexual lives are vanilla or sub. But a lot of Dommes are somewhere in the middle--we're really Dominant, we really get off on it, and we really make at least part of our living at it. But hey, don't let me upset your nicely structured universe...




< Message edited by MissBabydoll -- 2/26/2007 5:29:16 PM >

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: ProDommes... - 2/26/2007 5:22:55 PM   
MissBabydoll


Posts: 62
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Stephann
Corrupted
He who pays the piper calls the tune. From previous similar posts many disagree on the song still it seems.


Ah, sum it all up in a cliche, and how simple the world seems. The sun goes round the earth, living creatures were designed by God to be the way they are, black people benefited from slavery because they were taught civilization,humans don't share a common ancestor with chimps, women can't drive, America is specially blessed and the greatest country in the world, you can't fight city hall, you can't argue with the dictionary, money talks and bullshit walks....

And because someone pays financial tribute to a Professional Domme, he gets to direct the scene.

I just love "common sense."



< Message edited by MissBabydoll -- 2/26/2007 5:26:58 PM >

(in reply to yugla)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: ProDommes... Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.093