RE: Serving in the presence of illness

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RE: Serving in the presence of illness - 3/21/2005 9:27:56 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

My girl serves when and as she can, pregnant, sick, healthy, it doesn't change either of us. Some days, she's up with the sun, cleaning, doing laundry and spoiling me rotten. Other days, she's lucky if she spends three or four hours out of bed and prioritizes according to what needs done the most. Even when she's bed-ridden, she serves me. She remembers where things are, advises me what would make a good meal, which child is supposed to be where and, most importantly, tries to be a good patient. Our arrangement is a permanent one, I own her until one of us dies, so we may not be indicative of the average dynamic and, in any case, YMMV, but I can't see ending a relationship just because one party was ill.
Timothy

(in reply to onceburned)

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Post #: 21

RE: Serving in the presence of illness - 3/21/2005 9:43:27 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

ORIGINAL: harmony3709
I know that as a submissive, I am harder on myself than any Dom has ever been in terms of expectations and goals

I have a tendency to be hyper-critical of myself as well. Its not always such a good thing, and the perspective of others is a necessary balance. I guess that is what dom/mes are for!

Oh, and other things too.

Yes, chris, lol, and other things as well. I do hope things get better for you sooner rather than later. I will point out that a dom/me may have a very different perspective that a submissive on just how much your limitation limit your service potential. My girl frets to no end when she doesn't feel well enough to drag herself to the kitchen to frshen my drink or prepare a snack. From her perspective, this is a monumental failing. My perspective, OTOH, is that the conversation we share over the sandwiches and drinks I've prepared for us both is much more important that the service involved in preparing the snack. We both know how much she can and can't do but have wildly different thoughts about how it impacts her value to me. On the bright side, I think I can bring her around to my way of thinking, given another 40 years to work on it.

Be well,
Timothy

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RE: Serving in the presence of illness - 3/22/2005 2:50:49 PM

SubbieHubbie

Posts: 14
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieHubbie
And, sir, you DO have a mind.

Don't call me sir!! I *work* for a beating!

Hmm... a submissive who gives orders... ;)

Sorry, put it down to being English and over 30 - its a politeness thing and I apologize for it.

quote:

Yes, I think you are right. Serving is more mental than physical - thank you for pointing this out, I will have to reflect on it and try to remember it when darkness and doubts overtake me. She has accepted me conditionally as a sub... we seem to fit together so well. But we have not met. My illness has delayed this for several weeks. It is a bit like being being on the verge of walking through door to a banquet hall, and then being mugged.

Yes, illnesses do hit you like that don't they? Especially as you work towards good pain/disease management. I'm sorry it's having such an impact on you - though I am glad and impressed that you two are staying together, that shows strength of commitment. Are there any ways around the lack of meeting? Is your domme able to travel? If she comes to you, your place could BE her place. Of course, I realize that there are MANY reasons that might not be the way forward, just tossing out a brainstorm for you.

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RE: Serving in the presence of illness - 3/22/2005 6:43:07 PM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
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quote:

Sorry, put it down to being English and over 30 - its a politeness thing and I apologize for it.

Oh, no need to apologize! If anyone should say it they are sorry it would be me. The line "Don't call me sir!... I work for a living" is a common phrase in the U.S. military during boot camp. It is used to both put recruits 'in their place' but also to instill pride in the enlisted ranks.

I didn't know you were English, otherwise I would not have used it. Sorry!

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Post #: 24

RE: Serving in the presence of illness - 3/22/2005 8:17:20 PM

SubbieHubbie

Posts: 14
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

Ya know... there's probably a gentle irony about two subs fighting over the right to apologize... ;)

Thanks for the explanation, one more phrase to add to my repertoire since I immigrated over here.

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Post #: 25