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Switching - 2/22/2007 8:24:24 PM

Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Hello all-

I have a question, and hopefully I won't sound too stupid...I'm still relatively new to the 'lifestyle'. Up to this point, I have identified myself as a submissive, because I enjoy surrendering control, being owned, belonging to my Master, pleasing him. In non-sexual areas, though, it becomes a bit blurry. I like to be in control at school and work, of my situation and what is going on. I like to plan things, and know what is happening and when. I don't want to Dom my Master, so to speak, because I wouldn't want to be in control sexually, but I do want to have vanilla sex sometimes, and to have some equalities outside of the bedroom. I mean, I'd know he had my heart, soul, and body, but he wouldn't get ultimate say with my friends/family/school/work.

I guess my question is, is a switch someone who enjoys being in control and surrendering control, depending on the person, but all in a sexual manner? Or is a switch someone who enjoys being in control outside of sex but is submissive in sexual areas? For the latter, not necessarily in control of the person, just of situations. I'm trying to figure out what classification I fall under, and its a tad bit complicated.

Thanks for any input.
cp55

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RE: Switching - 2/22/2007 8:37:42 PM

Posts: 137
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline

I believe you can be a switch in any arena you choose.

(in reply to curiouspet55)

RE: Switching - 2/22/2007 9:46:02 PM

bastardandthewen

Posts: 40
Joined: 11/3/2006
Status: offline

I identify as switch because I submit to Bastard (Who is not a switch at all in any way, by any definition), but outside of that, I like to hurt other people.

I would have difficulty identifying "switchiness" with sexual behaviour; because in my head that would imply sexually submissive people are always passive and never take initiative in bed. Likewise, I don't identify switchiness to social contexts either; being independant or self suffient in the workplace, for example, implies nothing to me about D/s roles.

Like most things in life, it is opent to individual interpretation.

< Message edited by bastardandthewen -- 2/22/2007 9:56:39 PM >

(in reply to mynded)

RE: Switching - 2/23/2007 4:41:28 AM

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Having a dominant personality in some places doesn't necessarily make you a Dominant in role. Having a meek or submissive personality doesn't make you a slave, either.

Master Fire

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(in reply to curiouspet55)

RE: Switching - 2/23/2007 5:16:42 AM

Posts: 12
Joined: 12/7/2005
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Master fire is....... RIGHT ON ......!!!!!!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Switching - 2/23/2007 11:06:09 PM

Posts: 58
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline

i must admit, being a switch is something i have a hard time getting my head to understand. I have 2 sub friends who wanted to leave their Domme's and they got together and fell in love. Now they switch but they both tell me privately they miss the sex from their former Domme's, but they are trying to not be involved in the lifestyle so they don't go to play parties any more

(in reply to ceeman)

RE: Switching - 2/24/2007 10:38:11 PM

Posts: 108
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline

I have been wondering the same thing lately. I have been having pleasant thoughts of having a cute little slave boy over my knee for a sound spanking...VERY pleasant thoughts.

I have been wondering what this means about my absolute need to serve and obey. I am confused to say the least.

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(in reply to curiouspet55)

RE: Switching - 2/25/2007 6:02:17 PM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zsuzsanna

I have been wondering the same thing lately. I have been having pleasant thoughts of having a cute little slave boy over my knee for a sound spanking...VERY pleasant thoughts. I have been wondering what this means about my absolute need to serve and obey. I am confused to say the least.

Hello. =)

I understand that completely. I'm submissive, but from time to time entertain sadistic fantasies, too. It doesn't have to mean much of anything, really, unless you want it to. Having any naughty thoughts don't necessarily mean interference with your need to obey. They just mean you're like everybody else, lol.

Cheers,
Stella

(in reply to Zsuzsanna)

RE: Switching - 2/26/2007 11:53:37 AM

CreatfreeAccount

Posts: 104
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline

it's all over the board and most are, if they admit it or not, in the middle ( a switch).

(in reply to curiouspet55)

RE: Switching - 2/26/2007 4:23:41 PM

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

Some dominants prefer their submissives to have some control over school/friend things and if you work, of course you have to be the best worker at you job, whatever that means. If you have a powerful job, or even just like to control and plan things well at work, that doesn't make you a switch, just a good worker. If you like to have control over someone, entertain sexual fantasies of having your own submissive, etc, that would make you a switch. As to what a submissive should do or control, that really depends on the specific relationship between the dom and sub. It could be a bedroom/sex thing or could extend to many aspects of life, but confining submission to certain aspects of the relationship or areas of your life really doesn't have anything to do with switching IMO.
Others may disagree.

(in reply to CreatfreeAccount)

RE: Switching - 2/27/2007 8:32:56 PM

Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
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I have a Dominant personality, however I am Michael's slave. I understand what you mean and my relationship is a lot like what you describe. My Master has the power to make all final decisions, however there is very little of my life He actually controls on a day to day basis. In the bedroom or at play I am completely submissive to Him and ultimately outside of the bedroom I am as well. However, I am fully capable of making my own choices and He tends to only take control when I ask Him for help. That's not to say that there aren't times when I disagree with His decisions, but I always obey. Like this past weekend, He asked my input about a home decorating project, however He preferred it a different way. No argument, the room got arranged the way He wished. I don't think this dynamic is what makes me a switch, however. Although it is our compatibility that makes our relationship work well. When I was married to a Dominant who enjoyed mircomanaging, I was totally miserable. It could be that you are a slave with a Dominant personality, rather than a submissive one.

(in reply to beltainefaerie)

RE: Switching - 3/1/2007 11:57:03 PM

Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Thank you michaels4evr. That is, I think, precisely what is going on

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Question everything, try anything, do something.

(in reply to michaels4evr)

RE: Switching - 3/2/2007 9:01:30 AM

Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

I don't have much experience in this but I'm also VERY dominant in my normal life...control everything around me as best as possible and do a pretty good job of it also. I'm not real aggresive sexually and usually preffer a woman who is more aggresive? It's been explained to me that I probably am more of a bottom because I have fantasies of bottoming in the bedroom but am very dominant in most other areas? I do enjoy administering a spanking too so both bottoming/topping appeal to me....BUT I will always be dominant in my everyday life! So I call it switch for lack of a better term.....

Doesn't really matter what you call it....if you have topping fantasies....go for it!

(in reply to curiouspet55)

RE: Switching - 3/3/2007 8:54:58 AM

Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zsuzsanna

I have been wondering the same thing lately. I have been having pleasant thoughts of having a cute little slave boy over my knee for a sound spanking...VERY pleasant thoughts. I have been wondering what this means about my absolute need to serve and obey. I am confused to say the least.

OOOPS! My post above was meant for Zsuzsanna......

(in reply to Zsuzsanna)

RE: Switching - 4/12/2007 2:48:40 AM

phoenixinchains

Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline

What gives you the most pleasure? Are you happiest seeing everything fall into place in normal life, or being the cause of someone else's pleasure? If the question persist within, talk with your partner about exploring the limits of yourself. I'm sub to my mate, but have total control over the house by his preferance. And i'm very territorial on the matter. This doesn't compremise my wanting to please him, in fact it pleasing him greatly to have a nice home. Your dom/me should want for your happiness as well, right? Maybe you are happy with both? If so, congrats. You're more adjusted than you know- Phoenix

(in reply to stockingluvr54)

RE: Switching - 4/20/2007 2:59:29 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline

you are not a switch because a switch is just that they switch roles. and you are not a slave because you want controle over your own life. you are submissive. that means you like to be domminated in the bedroom but be in controle of your own life. p.s. many powerful people in life are subs. people that are in charge of a lot of people and money. Do you think that maybe because you are controlling in life that when you are done with work that you like to hand that controle over?

< Message edited by boundmind -- 4/20/2007 3:04:40 PM >

(in reply to curiouspet55)

RE: Switching - 4/20/2007 7:13:35 PM

Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

I'm sure I'll be corrected if I'm wromg, but it sounds like you're a sub, not a slave. I once thought that a slave was only in the bedroom, and realized through my research and reading here and elsewhere, that a slave is in everthing, not just behind closed doors. This is how I differentiate between slave and sub. I thought I wanted to be a slave until I found out what it entailed, and though I love my girl dearly, I could never submit totally. This she knows and appreciates. That is why I qualify myself as a sub, or switch, as she like me to top ocassionally.

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(in reply to curiouspet55)

RE: Switching - 4/26/2007 6:59:33 AM

BlackWolfSwitch

Posts: 40
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaels4evr

I have a Dominant personality, however I am Michael's slave. I understand what you mean and my relationship is a lot like what you describe. My Master has the power to make all final decisions, however there is very little of my life He actually controls on a day to day basis. In the bedroom or at play I am completely submissive to Him and ultimately outside of the bedroom I am as well. However, I am fully capable of making my own choices and He tends to only take control when I ask Him for help. That's not to say that there aren't times when I disagree with His decisions, but I always obey. Like this past weekend, He asked my input about a home decorating project, however He preferred it a different way. No argument, the room got arranged the way He wished. I don't think this dynamic is what makes me a switch, however. Although it is our compatibility that makes our relationship work well. When I was married to a Dominant who enjoyed mircomanaging, I was totally miserable. It could be that you are a slave with a Dominant personality, rather than a submissive one.

Right on the head.
Normally, we use the term 'switch' for how one acts in scene, or in a sexual standpoint.
Normally, mind you. Others take it as a universal meaning, such as how one's personality changes between scene and the outside world.
All in all, it's how we as individuals percieve it.

I see it as moreso of the scene and sexual, myself.
I'm dominant in the outside world with my life, whereas I'm a switch in the bedroom, so to speak..

Cheers.

_____________________________

"Command of the collar, or submission to wear it. It's your choice. My choice is to know what I like from both."

(in reply to michaels4evr)

RE: Switching - 5/4/2007 9:28:42 PM

Posts: 98
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline

Labels are such tricky beasts.

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(in reply to BlackWolfSwitch)

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