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ItzKat -> RE: Bad Submissive (7/10/2005 9:48:39 PM)
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No, no way. You are not a bad submissive. It just may be that you are too good for them. We all have terms that we mostly agree on their meaning that allow us to communicate. I feel that I am a submissive woman. However, that does not make me a weak woman. In someone else's personal definition of the word, that may mean to them that I am not a "good submissive"
I have been in this lifestyle for some time now, but years ago when I first started, I was volunteering my time for some local BDSM education/support groups. During a party one night a man came up to me and said "I will allow you to ask me three questions and only three questions" I had never seen this man before and I had no idea what he was talking about. In looking him over, I saw that he was an man that put a little time into choosing his all black outfit, but was wearing a "novelty" whip on his hip. So my first question was "What is it about you that makes you think I want to know anything about you?" This clearly knocked the man for a loop. He sort of studdered..."Well, I was told you are a sub... I am a Dom and I want to get to know you" So my next question was "What is it about you that makes you that make you think I have any desire to be your sub?" He walked away. Does that make me a bad sub? My Dominant of nine years would argue otherwise.
To me it sounds like they were looking for easy marks so they could have some phone chats and get their rocks off without having to pay for it. Or maybe find a newbie that wasn't so sure of herself and prey on her. It happens. Of course it could also be that your signals and their's were just crossed and they are really nice guys. These things happen too. (Although not usually so close together)
Stay true to yourself. When it is right everythign falls into place and it is wonderful.
Kat
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