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What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 12:45:14 AM   
xXGisselleXx


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/16/2005
Status: offline 		Hi, I am very new to BDSM and I have a question. What is the difference between a sub and a slave? Sorry if this seems dumb but I really have no idea.

Thanks!

~Gisselle

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RE: What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 12:59:31 AM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline 		Hi Gisselle, Welcome to the boards!

From how I understand it a sub has "Limits" that are verbally
discussed with her Dom/Domina and writen into the consent agreement.
A slave on the other hand has no such limits between her/him amd her
Dom/Domina.

Others can probably expand on the definitions further.

Edited for typo's.

< Message edited by brightspot -- 3/23/2005 1:23:51 AM >

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RE: What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 1:23:38 AM   
slavewoman


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		There is no one answer to this question. Some will tell you that slaves have no limits. I don't share that view.

Master and I discussed, and agreed upon, limits before he accepted my submission. We were fortunate in that we shared the same limits. Now, those limits are fairly high level - meaning, based pretty much on moral standards - no children, bestiality, etc., but we/I are not without limits. Other than that, however, Master is free to do as he pleases.
As a slave, I do not have the right to negotiate limits for each scene. That may, or may not be the case for someone who considers him/herself a sub.

I would advise not being overly concerned re the label. You and your future Dominant will determine the parameters of your relationship.


< Message edited by slavewoman -- 3/23/2005 4:06:59 PM >

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RE: What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 2:57:03 AM   
GrandpaLash


Posts: 133
Joined: 1/8/2005
Status: offline 		With all due respect, and I agree totally on one of your absolute limits, everything we do in BDSM goes against 'moral standards'. Or so 'they' would have us believe. Perhaps finding a realistic justification for limits would be more productive. Like the clear psychological if not physical damage that can be done to children is sufficient justification for setting them as a limit. The morality lies in avoiding harm to other beings, not the fact that it is sexually immoral to use underage people as sex objects. Morality of this type is purely cultural; of the former type is almost (theoretically) universal, if far too often honoured in the breach.

But to answer the actual question in the OP, I believe the only valid definition involves the attitude of the persons in question: if a person believes she/he is a slave, and if another (or others) are convinced by her/his behaviour and accepts the self-identification, then she/he is a slave. One person's slave is another's submissive, just as one person's submissive can be another's punching bag. The only person who needs convincing of anything is oneself. Which is possibly more theoretical than the OP was seeking.

Otherwise, there are as many definitions of the term as there are people, I think.

Grandpa Lash

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RE: What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 3:53:46 AM   
MsDemmie


Posts: 19
Joined: 10/22/2004
From: Devon England
Status: offline 		Submissives submit, slaves serve - is a good starting place ............ but as has already pointed out everyone has their own interpretation / definition of submissive and slave.

You might want to do a google search on 9 levels of submission ( by Diane Vera ? ) - might give you some more ideas to think about.

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RE: What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 12:07:22 PM   
xXGisselleXx


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/16/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone! I do have one more question: what is this whole vanilla thing about? I have no idea, so can someone fill me in?

Thanks!

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RE: What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 12:13:04 PM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Vanilla is a general term used when referring to people not into D/s.

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RE: What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 3:46:48 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		A slave is that, somone`s property, offcourse this is not legal anymore, but that is how they act in the relationship.

A submissive are somone that let somne else be his or her boss, to extent of the other persons power wary.

A bottom is somone that likes to ahve thigns done to them in e sence.

My definitions anyway.

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RE: What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 4:19:44 PM   
slavewoman


Posts: 21
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:


With all due respect, and I agree totally on one of your absolute limits, everything we do in BDSM goes against 'moral standards'.


It was very early, I had to leave for work and, frankly, I couldn't think of a word other than "morals". Please understand, I do not equate morality with matters sexual. In my opinion it's about not causing harm - either purposely or carelessly.

The point I was trying to make was, we don't have a list of limits but, even though I am Master's slave, I am not totally without limits and, neither is he.

[/font]


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RE: What is the difference? - 3/23/2005 4:31:43 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Hi, I am very new to BDSM and I have a question. What is the difference between a sub and a slave? Sorry if this seems dumb but I really have no idea.


You can get some more opinions on this topic if you click search at the top of the page and search for difference between sub and slave. There have been numerous threads on this. Here is one of the threads for you:

what is the difference.....

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