RE: Your sub's fantasy

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RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/27/2007 4:18:05 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

I never do something specifically for my sub. If I will not enjoy the activity fully, it does not happen! I looked a long time to find someone who fit within my subset of enjoyed activities so I never have to consider if the person I'm with is getting something out of the relationship. I feel that not compromising when seeking a sub or Dominant is crucial. The question of a sub getting their needs met should never come up as they should be met by most everything done. If my main desire is to do CBT and I'm not overly into cross dressing but the sub's main desire is to be forced to dress as a woman.. we do not match. No matter how much else we have in common, how big his dick is or how good his personality, it would compromise me as a Dominant to take that person as submissive. I understand how hard it is to find a partner who is even somewhat compatible and that settling for "almost" is seductive. You do both parties a disservice by this. Hold out for the one who makes this question irrelevant to your life!

Now, if you mean can my sub request one of the things we both enjoy at some point in time, of course he can. If his asking sparks something in me, we may even do it. That is why they call it a relationship. I'm thinking that you perhaps do not have a real time view of D/s and are asking from the point of curious newbie. Think back to your parent's relationship. Who made most of the decisions? Was it your Dad? Did he decide where to go on vacations, when to go out to movies and what was to be seen, did he give out the allowance? If yes, then your father was the Dominant of the household. Did that mean your mother was powerless? Of course not! She just deferred to him the majority of the time. When something was very important to her, be it choice of restaurant or vacation location, she was free to add input. While her suggestion may not have been taken, it was listened to and considered. I think perhaps you need to join a local munch and get a more realistic view of lifestyle or 24/7 D/s

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: Your sub's fantasy - 2/28/2007 7:14:23 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I personally will use my slave's fantasies and desires under two conditions.

1) I love those things too. This means we'll be doing this a lot.

2) I'm neutral toward it. An example is bondage. I could take or leave it, I have some skills at it but it really doesn't turn me on, especially the actions of creating bondage. It doesn't hurt me in any way, it doesn't make me feel bad in any way, I can combat the boredom of doing it with a response slave and an artistic bent to it.

I don't use those things that turn me off or which upset me. If he/she has too many of those desires or needs it is a sign we are not the right combination.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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Post #: 22