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Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 8:01:42 PM   
bgtreasure


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Yesterday a friend came to me and told me that the ex of her current play partner gave her an STD.  Now my friend is confused, it seems quite obvious to me that she should confront him but she is scared.    We put so much trust into the people that we make our partners it just seems like such a terrible thing.  Then again what if its not true the ex has been known to tell lies so that other women avoid him? Any thoughts on how she should approach him?
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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 8:04:35 PM   
moki1984


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it is a delicate subject to be approached safely. i think the easiest way is to simply throw it out , no beating around the bush

(in reply to bgtreasure)
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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 8:04:41 PM   
ArgoGeorgia


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I say openly and honestly, without being accusatory.  And then, if the trust still isn't quite there, go get tested. 

And hopefully it is one of the STD's that can be cured with a shot.

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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 8:15:03 PM   
azzmaster


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of course she should say something! but i wanna say this... condoms condoms condoms n more condoms unless u have blood tests proving the person is clean and agree to have no other unprotected sex. additionally, always look at someone genitals b4 u do anything with them. herpes, syphilis and genital warts can still be spread even with condoms. if u don't know what they look like google them and look at pix online. have fun but b safe

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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 8:39:16 PM   
ArgoGeorgia


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And even if you know what they look like, warts, herpes, and many of the others can be spread without any physical symptoms whatsoever.  So, have fun, but be safe!

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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 8:46:06 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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She needs to contact all of her sex partners she may have contracted it from/to and inform them that she has this and that they should get tested.  After that, it's up to them.

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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 8:51:16 PM   
juliaoceania


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People do not always know that they passed an STD, so I would definitely tell the person they had given me. Unless they claimed to be 100 percent sure they were clean I just do not see how trust has anything to do with it. That is like getting upset because someone gave you the flu or something.

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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 10:03:19 PM   
bgtreasure


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Thanks for all your replies.  I've told her that its better to be safe then live a lifetime regretting not being safe no matter how much you love someone or think you do.

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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 10:07:35 PM   
DominaSmartass


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quote:

of course she should say something! but i wanna say this... condoms condoms condoms n more condoms unless u have blood tests proving the person is clean and agree to have no other unprotected sex. additionally, always look at someone genitals b4 u do anything with them. herpes, syphilis and genital warts can still be spread even with condoms. if u don't know what they look like google them and look at pix online. have fun but b safe


Never thought I'd say this, but I agree with azzmaster. Yikes! Do I need to change my name to DominaSmartazz?

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(in reply to azzmaster)
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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 2/28/2007 10:53:08 PM   
StacyCat


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

She needs to contact all of her sex partners she may have contracted it from/to and inform them that she has this and that they should get tested.  After that, it's up to them.


Its also important to not play the "blame game."  Its a far easier conversation to say "Hey, I tested positive for this, you should go get checked out" than "You gave me this STD, you are a bad person."

It does not matter who "gave" you something, it just matters how you react and treat it.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 3/1/2007 4:40:49 AM   
BeachMystress


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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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Ok, first off, is she SURE he is the only person who could have given it to her? Could she have had it prior to him and spread it to him? Blame is not the best of ideas. Some things can be dormant in our systems for a while before we realize we have them.

Now, I'm going to share an almost funny story.. a housemate in college wasn't as careful as she should have been about who she slept with (ok, my other friends referred to her as USA .. ultra slut of America.) She didn't wear jeans very often. She had spent the night with a guy named Marcello from Ecuador. She came home in the morning and was getting ready to take a bath. She noticed a lil pill of jean fuzz in her pubic hair and became convinced it was a crab.. aka pubic lice. Before I could convince her it was just jean fuzz, she flushed it down the toilet. (This was pre internet days. I couldn't just pull up a photo of crabs for her.) She had hysterics. I ended up having to go buy Quell (lice killer) for her. After she shaved all of the hair below her head, used the quell, had her bath and a crying jag, she called poor Marcello. The conversation went something like: "Hi Marcello, yeah I'm fine. You gave me crabs."  Imagine the poor guy! Keep in mind it was jean fuzz. *sigh* I never did convince her it wasn't pubic lice.


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(in reply to StacyCat)
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RE: Play Partners and STD's - 3/1/2007 6:22:54 AM   
dawntreader


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

quote:

of course she should say something! but i wanna say this... condoms condoms condoms n more condoms unless u have blood tests proving the person is clean and agree to have no other unprotected sex. additionally, always look at someone genitals b4 u do anything with them. herpes, syphilis and genital warts can still be spread even with condoms. if u don't know what they look like google them and look at pix online. have fun but b safe


Never thought I'd say this, but I agree with azzmaster. Yikes! Do I need to change my name to DominaSmartazz?


LMAO!!! i thought his post was right on the money too...

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(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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