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switch..........im a switch ive been told - 5/19/2004 10:18:08 AM

elleon45

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someone explain to me what that is?

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 5/19/2004 10:18:59 AM

elleon45

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how do i make a master want me everyday? He says im a switch but i want it alot how do i make him want me more then a couple times a week????

(in reply to elleon45)

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 5/19/2004 10:51:53 AM

Sinergy

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Hello,

A "switch" is, from my understanding, somebody who both (not at the same time though) Tops and bottoms in scenes, and/or can also be somebody who can be both Dominant and submissive.

I personally wouldnt put much credence on somebody else's opinion of what you are. Which side of the flogger do you identify with?

I am not sure what to suggest regarding being wanted every day. I personally have not had much success finding partners who want to be done every day, although I have not given up the search...

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 5/20/2004 6:28:54 AM

PeacefulTop

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From: Minneapolis MN Area
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I wish I knew what you meant by "wanted every day." With Respect, it sounds as if you have not been serving this master long, or maybe that you believe somehow that sexual(?) service is the only kind which matters to you.

Please do not continue believing this myth...it will only harm your self-image, and eventually begin to compromise your relationship to master.

If you concentrate your attention on developing value to him, in the same way you would to your family, or to your employer, and learning to anticipate his likes and dislikes in EVERY situation, not just when "training" or "playing," you are actually creating space for further intimacies, more easiy expressed.

Besides that, my only other comment is that you are the only "expert" in your own orientation.

Warmest Respects,
PT

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 6/7/2004 3:15:30 PM

PlayFul1

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Joined: 6/7/2004
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Personally, i really hate the label - switch. There are so many idiot out the thate refer to the "switch" in such negative ways by calling us "players" , "fakes", amongst other things. I am both as far as i am concerned. I can be only one or the other to a given person but not both. This is not a game to me, so i can't be a player. I can't be a fake, because i am very much real and what happened was very much real.

Anyway , That's my rant, <putting anyway my soapbox>

Screw the labels, give me a can!

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 6/7/2004 5:26:16 PM

MizSuz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: elleon45

how do i make a master want me everyday? He says im a switch but i want it alot how do i make him want me more then a couple times a week????

Trying to "make" a dominant ANYTHING is a dead end street. If he does give in then you've controlled the interaction and negated your submission, if he doesn't give in (perhaps to maintain the dynamic?) then you don't get what you want.

Negotiation is a good thing. Open discussions about what you'd like to have and whether or not it's a want or a need are good things. Taking the information gleaned from those conversations and using it to assist you in making a choice about whether this is the right relationship for you is a good thing.

If you are committed to the relationship and willing to accept his as final choice, then your alternative is to make the option as attractive as possible. The option remains his to take or not.

If you can't handle that, then you're not submitting.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 6/11/2004 4:47:51 PM

sub4hire

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elleon,
I have to agree with everyone else. You cannot make somebody want you. Either they do or they do not.
People call me a Dominant almost everyday of my life. It makes me smile to know I hold Dominance over someone. While submissive to my Dominant. Did that make sense?

The bottom line here is, I could never hit another human being unless it was out of anger. To me that is a very ineffective Dominant. A Dominant should never hit if in anger. They should calm down first.

Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say here is. I don't know your situation. I don't know what level of caring and emotions you are with, with this Dominant. The only reference I have is, I've seen Dominants complain about subs not being sub enough when they top from the bottom. I've never actually been told I do that by my Dominant but I have heard Dominants complain of it from time to time.
Perhaps that is where he is coming up with the switch term?

Don't know...can you clarify a bit more? I'm sure we can give you better answers if we understood a little more.

(in reply to elleon45)

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 10/22/2004 3:20:31 PM

elleon45

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i wish i got it everyday i never get it

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 10/22/2004 3:21:22 PM

elleon45

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thank you

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 10/22/2004 3:22:50 PM

elleon45

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true thanks im sooooooooo alone

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 10/23/2004 8:32:55 AM

westside

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Feeling alone, even depressed is a common, and quite normal human condition. As is wanting more/ less sex than you're getting. You're normal.

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 10/24/2004 3:09:18 PM

Laura

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From: Ontario, Canada
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You can't make someone want you. Even thinking that way is off on the wrong track and it has nothing to do with being a Switch.

Talk about the relationship and then decide what you need to do. Don't expect you can change him/ her. You can only change yourself and your own life.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 11/6/2004 2:41:21 AM

Suleiman

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quote:

ORIGINAL: elleon45

how do i make a master want me everyday? He says im a switch but i want it alot how do i make him want me more then a couple times a week????

You know, there's something about how this is worded that seems... I don't know... switchy, I guess. Something about making a person want you, which essentially is an act of domination, except in this case you want to dominate them into accepting you as a submissive.

Is this what they mean by "topping from the bottom"?

Just a suggestion, dear, but it could be the rather nasty edge of desperation you seem to be exuding. It has been known to scare folks off from time to time. If this person is indeed your Master, rather than a play partner who tops you, you need to remember that you are at their beck and call, not the other way around. Does that drive you nuts? Good. It ought to. Denial is one more game that masters play with their submissives.

I'm sorry if I seem a little bit harsh dear, but if you are going to give yourself to someone, that does rather put the ball in their court, does it not? Personally, I don't like having other people around all of the time, even if I really like them. It's a distraction from my work, and also I simply need some private time to be by myself. This master of whom you speak may well have similar reasons for wanting to limit play time with you, or they could have other reasons entirely.

Communication, as has been said before, is a key component here. Take a little time (if you have not already), consider what it is exactly that you want, and at the next opportunity broach the subject (I do not suggest bringing it up during play time, of course, as that would be impolite, but right before is usually good). If you get tongue-tied (as I do when I am speaking in person), try writing a letter and giving it to them. It may be helpful to avoid referring to their behavior (as in "you only want to see me once in a while") as this takes an accusatory tone, and you are trying to express your needs, thus you should make the statements self referential ("I want to spend more time with you, how can I make this possible?"). A little time and patience can go a long way to communicating your needs and feelings, which will help you Master to decide on a correct course of action, rather than reacting defensively to a poorly worded, if heartfelt, plea for attention.

Good luck, dear.

~S

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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RE: switch..........im a switch ive been told - 11/21/2004 9:39:38 AM

transmarylove

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I dont have an answer for you Just be your self i guess

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