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Trolling - 3/26/2005 5:47:59 AM

chainedgirl

Posts: 142
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

i'm hoping some of the Masters/Doms here maybe able to answer this for me. i recently posted to a group i'm in that i'm looking to move and seeking share accommodation. i said i was a slave, but did not mention that i'm collared, because quite frankly, i do not think that is the business of the person i will potentially share with. A reply i received was from someone 2 states away from where i live saying he was seeking a slave and offering to fly me there if i sent a picture (and presumably met his physical approval!).

Can someone please explain to me why this happens? i don't know if Mistresses/Dommes do this, but i do know quite a few males do and i was just wondering what would make them think it deserves a reply.

Thank You to anyone who replies.

Post #: 1

RE: Trolling - 3/26/2005 6:43:03 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

i would have mentiond that i was colared. You see it is the same as in a vanilla setting, if a girl seak out roomates, especialy of the other sex, it saves alot of time to just tell them you have somone. It might not be their buisnis, but when you tell them you are a slave, many would like to try to get into your bed, but tell them you are taken and you might lose some of them. i dont think that was trolling, mearly a stupid pick up atemnt.

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 2

RE: Trolling - 3/26/2005 6:46:54 AM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

Confused on a couple points. Is the group that you posted to bdsm-oriented? I'm thinking it must be, since you felt free to say you're a slave.

Also, why is it okay for everyone to know you're a slave, but not okay for them to know you're collared?

If I had seen your posting, I might well have responded, in fact. Wouldn't be asking for a pic and offering airfare right off, but would probably just give you a quick 'hi', tell you of my interest, and let you decide whether to reply or not.

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 3

RE: Trolling - 3/26/2005 6:49:00 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

I agree whit DesertRat, many would have answerd you and belived you to be free.

(in reply to DesertRat)

Post #: 4

RE: Trolling - 3/26/2005 7:12:59 AM

Chilli

Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Why do you even care?

This is the internet for chrissakes.

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 5

RE: Trolling - 3/26/2005 8:04:40 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

I think that nella and DesertRat are on the right track. In any roommate situation where the possibility of a sexual relationship exists, it is only sensible to close that door if you don't want someone trying to enter. And since so much of D/s has a sexual charge (even if subliminal) it seems that mentioning that you weren't available would be fairly important.

And my gosh, if you are sharing a home with someone else you are going to be sharing what is happening in your life too. Its only natural to talk with the person you live with. (Although I have lived in a roommate situation where two of the people refused to speak to one another and I wound up as the go-between. It was gruesome at times.)

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 6

RE: Trolling - 3/26/2005 8:29:42 AM

Youtalkingtome

Posts: 112
Joined: 12/8/2004
Status: offline

The other posters are correct but the biggest reason would be that men out number women by a very big amount on any site on the internet.So their is a very big competition with all these men for the very few woman on any site.Forget about Dom/Master,sub/slave and divide by men and women.Women get 100s of emails a day and men are lucky if they get any.Of coarse most of the 100s of emails are from online game players.So very few emails are from serious men.

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Trolling - 3/26/2005 1:23:55 PM

chainedgirl

Posts: 142
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline

thanks to everyone who replied.

i didn't mention that i was collared for the reason stated. i still don't think its anybody's business if i'm only going to share a house with them. Yes, it was a bdsm group that i posted to, because its much easier to share with likeminded people i think.

i mentioned i'm a slave because that is how i think of myself, i did not see any other consequence to that, but thank you for point it out, i actually had not thought of it.

Thanks Youtlakingtome for at least replying to the question i asked in the first place. i guess i just thought that people would take my post (to the other group about accommodation) at face value and not assume anything else. Seems i was wrong on that score.

chainedgirl

(in reply to Youtalkingtome)

Post #: 8

RE: Trolling - 3/26/2005 5:23:11 PM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

i answerd what i did becouse i did not think that what those men did was trolling. Not every thing somone do that one dont aprove of is trolling. It is only when it is done in a harassing way it is trolling. For example, if a man try to invite a woman out, that is not trolling, it is harassing her if she says no, or aprotching her whit a my dic is so and so big, that are tolling.

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 9

RE: Trolling - 3/27/2005 10:22:45 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

My take on it is the same if I was in a vanilla setting. If a lady came to Me and said that she was interested in sharing accomodation with Me, but did not tell Me she was engaged, I would be upset, especially if I got the wrong idea (an easy thing to do).

Likewise, if some Dom came up to My sub and tried to fly her away, even though she was owned by Me, I would be equally choked. To Me there are some things you just do not do. I guess I like to think of it as respect. I would never hit on someone else's girl, and I would expect the same courtesy granted to Me. In fairness to the Master, though, He does not know you are collared so the responsibility lies equally on your shoulders if not more so. He should ask, true, but you have an obligation to offer the information.

you can also look at it from the Master's point of view. He would be spending a lot of money to fly you down to where He lives, just to find out that you were owned by someone else. My goodness I must admit I would be seeing red, feeling I was misled.

I think the Master does deserve a reply, that reply being that you are owned by another. I have no doubt He has been misled, from the sounds of it intentionally, and is getting the wrong ideas. No wonder He thinks you are trolling if in fact He does.

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 3/27/2005 10:23:22 AM >

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 10

RE: Trolling - 3/27/2005 10:39:25 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

It is someone's buisness who's collared and who is not if they're contacting someone. And you're putting yourself out there as a slave but not telling any one you're collared is a slight bit misleading to my eyes and others. You can not expect to say you're a slave and not have dominants flocking to check you out. If you don't want them doing so say you're collared, and any respectable man let alone dominant wouldn't be aproaching taken people.

It is absolutely his buisness to know you're not free.

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 11

RE: Trolling - 4/8/2005 4:36:06 PM

Tempestspet

Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline

I agree with the others that said that you should indeed have said you were collared. It's misleading otherwise.
Sharing a house with someone, isn't like staying in a hotel, or even an apartment by yourself, and your neighbor asking a bunch of personal stuff. Perhaps the person you were sharing the house with didn't want a steady person coming over all the time, calling, or whatever. They'd want to know if that's possibly going to be what happens. Wouldn't you?

Please letme know if this analogy is completely confusing.....this seems kinda like when a girl puts very revealing, nude, sexy or suggestive pictures on her profile.... then get's offended when they get the apropriate reponses of sexual offers. If you are advertising..... someone gonna offer to buy.

Tempet's pet

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 12

RE: Trolling - 4/10/2005 3:02:04 AM

timorous

Posts: 60
Joined: 4/7/2005
Status: offline

If you wave a carrot don't be surprised if a donkey want to bite it.

The fact is you seem to want to have your cake and eat it too. If if is nobody's business that you are collared then it stands to reason that it is also not their business that you are a slave... and yet you wanted to make sure that that was known.

Don't try to tell me that you're so niaive as to think that wouldn't create interest.
It did. You got what you wanted.

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 13

RE: Trolling - 4/10/2005 8:16:22 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedgirl

i didn't mention that i was collared for the reason stated. i still don't think its anybody's business if i'm only going to share a house with them. Yes, it was a bdsm group that i posted to, because its much easier to share with likeminded people i think.

I would disagree. Unless this is a cyber only relationship, obviously the master will likely be around you sometimes, and likely around the house. Discussing house guests and guest rules (suc as spending the night) is one of the most important talking points when deciding on roommates.

Not to mention, you obviously had to tell THIS entire forum that you were collared in order to bring up the topic...why is that our busienss but not someone you would actually be co-habitating with? That seems a skewed logic.

< Message edited by EmeraldSlave2 -- 4/10/2005 8:18:43 AM >

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: Trolling - 4/16/2005 4:46:47 AM

darkness696

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Why do you even care?

This is the internet for chrissakes.

we don't have feelings and thoughts online?? O yeah i forgot about it... stupid me.
we are the same people on and offline. if not..then you propably have something to hide

< Message edited by darkness696 -- 4/16/2005 4:47:48 AM >

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 15

RE: Trolling - 4/16/2005 6:35:26 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

i'm hoping some of the Masters/Doms here maybe able to answer this for me. i recently posted to a group i'm in that i'm looking to move and seeking share accommodation. i said i was a slave, but did not mention that i'm collared, because quite frankly, i do not think that is the business of the person i will potentially share with. A reply i received was from someone 2 states away from where i live saying he was seeking a slave and offering to fly me there if i sent a picture (and presumably met his physical approval!).

Can someone please explain to me why this happens? i don't know if Mistresses/Dommes do this, but i do know quite a few males do and i was just wondering what would make them think it deserves a reply.

Thank You to anyone who replies.

Well, dear, you are asking to LIVE with someone, regardless of whether you are sharing expenses or not. That you don't expect to have to disclose details about yourself to a potential room mate is fairly naive.

You can dig your heels in and tell everyone that it's your business, yadda yadda, and that's fine. However, you are asking for help. In situations where I've needed help, I find that it's best not to be dishonest. By representing yourself as a single personthen you should expect that people will approach you as an uncollared slave. (I'm sorry, but if you omit the fact that you are collared it's as good as a lie to me and begs the question of why you aren't living with your owner, but that's another story I suppose.)

You are fully within your rights to get all indignant and dig your heels in and say it's your business and all that. I just wouldn't expect that you will be all that warmly welcomed as a room mate.

my 2 cents,
Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Trolling - 4/16/2005 10:38:12 AM

ManOwner

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

I think we're all pretty much in consensus here. It seems extremely odd that you want to hide the fact that you're collared. The only reasonable inference I can draw from that fact is that you are trying to be misleading. You must want something from your would-be roommates that you think they might not give you if they knew the whole truth. What that is, I don't know.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 17

RE: Trolling - 4/16/2005 11:19:57 AM

sanita

Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

i guess i just thought that people would take my post (to the other group about accommodation) at face value and not assume anything else. Seems i was wrong on that score.

i am not sure how long you have been using the internet. but you seem pretty comfortable with it, and with finding forums. (there is one like roommates.com for BDSM lifestylers? neat!) but anyway, posting in a site which has a specific purpose, like finding rent-mates, is like posting on the bulletin board at the grocery store. you have left your contact info out there for whomever wants it.

people who do not want roomates go to those sites just to add to their contact list. not just using it as a pick-up or personals site, but as a patsy pool for monetary scams, and for adding to junk mailing lists. i was looking for an apartment or roomate at one point, and for years after, i would receive emails about nigerian bank accounts i could access in order to circumvent government corruption. they were directly from someone on that site.

so anyway, your intent was one thing, but people browsing in a site have any number of agendas, and that is just the way it seems to be.

< Message edited by sanita -- 4/16/2005 11:21:38 AM >

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 18

RE: Trolling - 4/16/2005 11:31:17 AM

sanita

Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

A reply i received was from someone 2 states away from where i live saying he was seeking a slave and offering to fly me there if i sent a picture (and presumably met his physical approval!).

Can someone please explain to me why this happens? i don't know if Mistresses/Dommes do this, but i do know quite a few males do and i was just wondering what would make them think it deserves a reply.

hey! also, disregarding the whole collared or not thing, the question of why Doms will offer plane fare on the basis of a picture and a not-so-in-depth profile pops out at me. i have seen Dommes state in their profiles that they want relocation within a certain time frame... but yeah, i wonder how often that offer based on so little knowlege can be taken seriously...

i mean are They serious? i guess they are. but is that naive of the Dominant?

i have seen them from both sexes, and basically, i would reply, but with a "no thank You."

even when i was single, i would not have been interested in that. however, someone may be. and in your case, chainedgirl, you also have "that is not what i am looking for, here." to ad to any reply.

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to chainedgirl)

Post #: 19

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