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LordJereth -> Alpha and Omega (5/19/2004 12:51:23 PM)
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Alpha and Omega.
By Lord_Jereth - June 14, 2003
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Darkness
Void
Oblivion
Despair
Huddled in my ubliette
I'd given myself up to the depths ... again.
terror and pain my only companions
in this fog of hoplessness.
My prison, a patchwork of differing manufacture.
Some plates are my own, some are those of others.
Here spikes for blood letting,
there patches of darkness that ooze the poison of my soul.
Here rusty pannels of painful memories abrasive and acidic,
there vast and jagged fissures of failure and loss.
All welded together with the flux of my insanity
and bottomless depression - a place to torture myself
in complete silence and privacy.
Repentance long past unreachable
across the gulf of time.
Escape an option I no longer believe in.
Optimism a foreign land I can't remember visiting.
Self loathing a scurge I've known since my first breath.
I was born only to die here in my private hell
so why prolong my destiny?
Here I'd locked myself in once again and was poised to
throw away the key forever and ever, amen.
"Time ... to die ..." says the Replicant and bows his head.
I scream through the gloom.
A sound of terror and absolute loss,
but also an accusation flung in the face of the universe.
A keening of terminal finality from a tortured soul
at the edge of the precipace of death,
ready to take the plunge,
my final swan song,
exit the clown, stage left.
A final step and all will be peace
whisper the voices in my head.
I am finally ready for the inevitable,
ready to believe.
Not far now,
how far can you fall
when you're already at the bottom?
What is loss when you have
nothing left to lose?
But ....
In the stigian depths a microscopic
pinpoint of light cuts through
the clouds of despair like
a blinding laser beam of hope.
A search light struggling with the gloom,
beating it back with a vengeance.
Burning through the cancer
with sure grace and passion.
It spears me and blinds me,
pinning me like a butterfly on a playing card.
And a gentle yet booming voice echos across the void ...
"Give me the keys and take my hand ..."
...
...
"I won't let you go. I won't let you fall."
...
...
"We'll get through this together."
The wound is lanced and draining.
Tears, once a bitter drought of weakness,
begin to wash the dredges of filth from my mind.
The surgury is painful, but I know it's necessity.
I still have a long journey,
a winding and uphill path to get back
to the land of the living.
But I now know that I don't walk the path alone.
That knowlege gives me back the will to continue the fight.
You are my reason ...
Cover me, I'm comming out.
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copyright©2003 by Lord_Jereth.
[8D] LJ
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