RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours?

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RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 3:22:46 PM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetAndInnocent
I am always curious about this, when I see the "no limits" line. Does that mean that you are perfectly ok with him cutting off a limb, forcing you to rob a bank, being buried alive, etc?

I could be wrong but I don't think robbing banks, being buried alive or cutting off limbs are actual kinks, so those wouldn't be included in a hard limits list.

And if they were, you'd simply make sure you chose a dominant that didn't have a fantasy of burying alive his one armed slave who was on the FBI's most wanted list.

See now - how hard is that really? Have a Dom or Master who you know enough, and trust enough to surrender your limits and live under his.

I am always amazed that as soon as someone says they are a "no limits" submissive someone always pops up with the ridiculous idea that it means you are happy to allow your Master to kill or maim you etc. I am very happy to be a no limits slave to my Master because as you have said I have complete and total trust in him. He loves me and would never harm me. In fact one of the things that I remember most about his profile was the line "once I find that special person I will love cherish and protect her but at all times Dominate and make her Mine"

Simple really!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 61

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 10:04:45 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I am just wondering if CM members arrived at their hard limits through trial and error, or just imagining what is beyond the beyond. Would ou ever let anyone change your hard limits and why ?

My "hard limits" are those things that are legally, morally, ethically, emotionally and medically "wrong" for me. They developed over the span of my lifetime, and are the result of my education, upbringing, experience and knowledge of myself. They are not negotiable, and the only person who can change them is me.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 62

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 10:10:00 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I could be wrong but I don't think robbing banks, being buried alive or cutting off limbs are actual kinks, so those wouldn't be included in a hard limits list.

Actually, these things ARE kinks. In fact, one of them is a favorite fantasy of mine - that of being buried alive. If we could find a "safe" way to do it, the Kaptin would make it happen. Problem is, breathing tubes of more than a couple feet in length are pretty much useless, and we've not yet determined how much dirt one can throw over a wooden coffin before it collapses.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 63

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 10:12:32 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

quote:

I could be wrong but I don't think robbing banks, being buried alive or cutting off limbs are actual kinks, so those wouldn't be included in a hard limits list.

Actually, these things ARE kinks. In fact, one of them is a favorite fantasy of mine - that of being buried alive. If we could find a "safe" way to do it, the Kaptin would make it happen. Problem is, breathing tubes of more than a couple feet in length are pretty much useless, and we've not yet determined how much dirt one can throw over a wooden coffin before it collapses.

This may be a bit off-topic from being buried alive, but I heard that if you use a 3.5 foot breathing tube underwater, the water pressure will force your lungs up into the tube.

Sinergy Cousteau

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 64

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/3/2007 10:20:42 PM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

My "hard limits" are those things that are legally, morally, ethically, emotionally and medically "wrong" for me. They developed over the span of my lifetime, and are the result of my education, upbringing, experience and knowledge of myself. They are not negotiable, and the only person who can change them is me.

i really like how this is worded

Daddysgirl

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 65

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/4/2007 3:01:11 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Evanesce
My "hard limits" are those things that are legally, morally, ethically, emotionally and medically "wrong" for me. They developed over the span of my lifetime, and are the result of my education, upbringing, experience and knowledge of myself. They are not negotiable, and the only person who can change them is me.

Never seen hard limits defined so wonderfuly. Yes exactly .

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 66

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/4/2007 4:13:14 AM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

     When I first started, I didn't have any hard limits simply because I didn't know there was such a thing.    So I tried many things, I may not have otherwise tried.   Some I liked some I didn't.   Once I found that I could have limits I had a whole laundry list of them.   Mainly things I didn't like.   I never listed things that I felt were morally wrong or harmful to me because, duh no one would ever ask me to do those things.   I was wrong.   I've talked to some loo-loo's during my years on the net, even those who have indicated that not only would I serve them but my children would serve as well.
      When I met my current partner, we discussed my list.   We were on the same page when it came to my morally wrong items.   I don't have them on a list of hard limits because there is no reason to.    I know he wouldn't go there and I further know he will be my last Dom.   The other limits I listed we also discussed.   Most of my kink based hard limits are in a dislike pile.   Many we will never engage in, others are reserved for punishment.   The hard limits that didn't make it to the dislike pile were ones that were for me a mindset.  After looking at things from a different perspective, those were dismissed completely.
         Right now for me limits are based on trust.    Trust that he would never take me beyond the boundries we have set.   Trust that he will never harm me.    Trust that if something comes up that for me is new and different, I have the right to discuss it prior and opt out if it is not acceptable or comfortable for me.

(in reply to touchthesky)

Post #: 67

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/4/2007 5:37:39 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: unsung

kyraofMists, I was always very interested in meeting your Lord Knight of Mists as well as you ladies, but I have to say reading the combined threads from each of you, there is a sense of a 'hard limit' being etched in my mind. lol BBQ brushes, he sets my limits, boxes with a few holes, oooooo yes I sense somethings for me are just not going to happen in the immediate future. lol nervously.
be well.

As kyra stated.. we don't use the phrase of Hard Limits... or really even approach play from that direction.

Some like to establish the edges of their play. It's all those limits and boundaries to what they will not do. Kind of like establishing the playing field.

My experience as shown me that over time limits and boundaries will evolve and change. I find it more beneficial to establish the ground floor to build up from than some preconceived ceiling to stay under. With establishing a strong foundation... one can build a rather impressive building.

I suppose there is a reason that a building is built from the foundation up. Instead of from the Ceiling down. It is my thoughts that one needs to establish what is the foundation to build from. This doesn't just mean I will do this activity and that one... but these are the traits, skills, personality, character, etc of the person I would consider engaging in play with.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to unsung)

Post #: 68

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/4/2007 6:01:20 PM

unsung

Posts: 183
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

Knight of Mists, thank you kindly for explaining. *ss* I however was not in anyway attempting to make you and your practice come off as unreasonable or sadistic without thought with how, whom, ect your engagements were or are conducted with. I was being light hearted in a happy go lucky way, when I made my comment. But I do agree with your statement regarding hard limits changing through time; inexperience only sets preconceived ideas in ones mind. Again thank you for your clarifications.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 69

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/4/2007 6:06:58 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

quote:

I could be wrong but I don't think robbing banks, being buried alive or cutting off limbs are actual kinks, so those wouldn't be included in a hard limits list.

Actually, these things ARE kinks. In fact, one of them is a favorite fantasy of mine - that of being buried alive. If we could find a "safe" way to do it, the Kaptin would make it happen. Problem is, breathing tubes of more than a couple feet in length are pretty much useless, and we've not yet determined how much dirt one can throw over a wooden coffin before it collapses.

Oh heavens! I shouldn't have read that so close to night night time! I'm gonna have nightmares. Eeeeeckkk! *nervous laughter*

Didya see that episode of CSI where Nick was kidnapped and buried alive? I think I hyperventilated through the whole thing!

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 70

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/4/2007 8:48:08 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

BRNaughtyAngel said:

quote:

Oh heavens! I shouldn't have read that so close to night night time! I'm gonna have nightmares. Eeeeeckkk! *nervous laughter*

Didya see that episode of CSI where Nick was kidnapped and buried alive? I think I hyperventilated through the whole thing!

LOL! And here I was jealous of Nick through the whole thing!

And Sinergy said:

quote:

This may be a bit off-topic from being buried alive, but I heard that if you use a 3.5 foot breathing tube underwater, the water pressure will force your lungs up into the tube.

I don't think that's true. It's more like the tube would collapse from the water pressure. In a recent demonstration on breath play, we were shown how, as breathing tubes get longer, they become less effective in sustaining breathing. Ever try draining a waterbed using a garden hose? It's almost impossible to get the water flowing without gasping for air. Same concept when trying to breathe.

And thank you, Daddysgirl and swtnsparkling, for the compliments.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 71

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/4/2007 9:07:25 PM

petwhiteboi

Posts: 29
Joined: 10/23/2005
Status: offline

my limits are i will not do brown showers are child play

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 72

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/4/2007 11:56:32 PM

freakgoddess

Posts: 48
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

i just can't listen to people spouting their conservative political crap...at all...ever...period.

(in reply to petwhiteboi)

Post #: 73

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/5/2007 12:01:04 AM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I have found that for most of the women that I have met their "hard" limit is choking down the last couple of inches of the DomiDong.

I hope that is NEVER my limit ... as a matter of fact, it never will be.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 74

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/5/2007 12:29:20 AM

myobedience

Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

ohhhhhhh, yessss. and they call this slave's kind "doormat"....be afraid, very very afraid.

What is really scarey to me is to see profiles of young girls, 18-25, who beg to be treated like an after thought, a dot without a sentence,
yesterday's stale bread; begging to have any degrading, demoralizing, illegitamate (sp), devaluing "thing" done to them as if someone who is responsible would do so.
Yes there are D's who are irresponsible and havent a clue on how to treat an s, but when it comes down to it, are they really amoung us?
IE In our world of reality?
Somehow, I cannot find it within me to wrap my brain around a D that keeps an s, locked, starved, bleeding, unbathed, sleeping on the cold cement only to awaken her to beat her unmercifully when he remembers she is even there. Seems they have made movies of such extremes and the idot usually ends up pole fucked up his ying yang by a gang of thugs in prison.
.... Jeffery Dalmer could have realized anyone's fantasy for the extreme and look how his life ended, in his own demented worst fantasy on the floor of a prison shower. A fantasy less extreme than the ones he made reality.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 75

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/5/2007 3:25:18 PM

ScreamerGirl

Posts: 65
Joined: 1/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

My "hard limits" are those things that are legally, morally, ethically, emotionally and medically "wrong" for me. They developed over the span of my lifetime, and are the result of my education, upbringing, experience and knowledge of myself. They are not negotiable, and the only person who can change them is me.

Ditto.

I have very few hard limits, but they all fall into the well-defined categories above.

They were there from the beginning, and I cannot *ever* see changing them.

(in reply to Evanesce)

Post #: 76

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/5/2007 5:06:17 PM

alandraofMists

Posts: 187
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

Actually, these things ARE kinks. In fact, one of them is a favorite fantasy of mine - that of being buried alive. If we could find a "safe" way to do it, the Kaptin would make it happen. Problem is, breathing tubes of more than a couple feet in length are pretty much useless, and we've not yet determined how much dirt one can throw over a wooden coffin before it collapses.

this is a fantasy of mine too. being buried alive... sort of.... the fantasy of laying down in a hole or box and having warm sand poured ontop of my body until i can not move. and just having to lay there with no idea of time or anything else just warmth and silence.

figuring out a safe way to do it is the hard part.

now i have a goofy grin on my face just thinking about it.

Knight's alandra

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 77

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/5/2007 6:51:41 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: alandraofMists

this is a fantasy of mine too. being buried alive... sort of.... the fantasy of laying down in a hole or box and having warm sand poured ontop of my body until i can not move. and just having to lay there with no idea of time or anything else just warmth and silence.

figuring out a safe way to do it is the hard part.

now i have a goofy grin on my face just thinking about it.

Knight's alandra

Good Lord my big brother did this to me every summer during our beach house vacations...buried all but the top of my head and then put a bucket over it.

Pffft, no way do I want to relive that!! I had forgotten all about it until now, lol, time to call my therapist again...

(in reply to alandraofMists)

Post #: 78

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/5/2007 7:38:45 PM

alandraofMists

Posts: 187
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

*winks* well ownedgirlie ... now you are not thinking about the BBQ brush.

glad i could help *grins*

Knight's alandra

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 79

RE: hard limits-how did you arrive at yours? - 3/5/2007 7:42:51 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: alandraofMists

*winks* well ownedgirlie ... now you are not thinking about the BBQ brush.

glad i could help *grins*

Knight's alandra

LOL thanks. Now I'm thinking about being buried with the damn thing.

(in reply to alandraofMists)

Post #: 80

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