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going the distance - 1/29/2004 8:38:19 AM   
wildpony


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/28/2004
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i'm new here and newish to the lifestyle but not the mindset. i'm looking for help finding ways keeping my beautiful Dom interested. what is the key to submission?

< Message edited by wildpony -- 1/30/2004 8:40:42 PM >
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RE: going the distance - 1/31/2004 5:35:55 AM   
akame


Posts: 64
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
((("what is the key to submission?")))

like life, there is not just ONE key to submission. it is an entire world full of them and each person must find the one that fits the lock within themselves they are trying to open at each moment they are asked to submit.
The trust, the love, any and all feelings you find are all apart of this for you. Each is a key of a different kind for a different kind of lock you have erected within yourself that you seek to open.
Each time you submit, each feeling that races through you is a part of it for you. And each time they all grow, at least the good ones should. Letting them help you purge the bad ones is also a part of this. but no matter what you do with each feeling, it is another KEY to your submission.
To me it is like this, I am in a locked room, with many huge locks on the door and more guards then the Queen outside, and inside, I am bound and chained so that no part of me can be seen by anyone entering. Some do not see me at all I am so buried by the chains of society and life. But some day, there will be one that not only gets in, but sees everything like he is super man with x ray vision. Only his vision comes from me. I give him what he needs to see me.
Each lock he must have me help him open is only opened by the key I hide within. it can only be opened if you trust enough to let them not only see that lock, but you must bring the key to it as well.
As each submission revels another key to your soul, and therefore the freedom to be pleasing to those that are chosen, it is taken and put on the key ring that you have given them the right to place upon you, made from the collar you wear. That alone is the very first lock you give them. That is the very first key they hold within themselves that they need to deserve the right to place that collar upon you.
May you never let anyone pick this lock instead of produce the key for you.
The keys are not just found within the submissive. Even if it is only them that wear the collar. It is your hand that is wrapped as well, by the handle of the leash while you hold them. Each person involved finds keys within themselves, each of us has souls to bare, keep that in mind as you ask for these Locks and Keys from each other.
So you see, you do not seek only ONE key, each submission brings forth another for you to offer them as you do with the handle of your leash and a confessed desire, only then will you ever find a time where there is only one left to open.
May God himself open this one for you. Until he does, I hope the rest are opened so that you soar so close to him, he smiles as you go by because he can look into your eyes and see all of the joy the soul within is sharing with it’s world.

((("i'm looking for help finding ways keeping my beautiful Dom interested".)))

this is the easy part, simply ask yourself at the start of each day, what can i do to make today the best ever for my One? what can i do to make them love me more today then yesterday? what can i do to make them feel me with each thought they have of me? what can i do to make them think of me at all today? if i do this, will it make them happy or sad? see how easy this is?
simply think of them instead of yourself, that's the Key to this, you give up yourself and the mind set of "What do I need?" to, "What do they need?" you think of them and hopefully, they are doing the same. if not, you are in trouble already.
hugzzz,
me

(in reply to wildpony)
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RE: going the distance - 2/1/2004 8:51:25 AM   
shai^tana


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Joined: 1/8/2004
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if this girl might offer, that it has often been said the ONE true key to most things in this life begins at least with HONESTY. First with self and then with others.

shai^tana

(in reply to wildpony)
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RE: going the distance - 2/1/2004 2:35:47 PM   
wildpony


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/28/2004
Status: offline
thank you so much for your answers. i do feel as if He is unlocking the places in me that have been so hidden. it's terrifying and so satisfying too. i know i have to work harder though. today all i managed to do was displease Him. it's so true that i have to learn to think first of Him and i also have to learn how to edit myself. i say whatever comes to my mind, even if it's bratty or argumentative. i ask too many questions.

another question: how do you keep from feeling insecure?

(in reply to shai^tana)
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RE: going the distance - 2/7/2004 9:20:58 AM   
saphire


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/5/2004
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"how do you keep from feeling insecure?"

i think if A/anyone could answer this fully, T/they'd outstrip Bill Gates in the financial realm. :-)

Personally: take a look are the situation surrounding the insecure feeling. Examine it - probe it - what started this feeling? Was it a gesture? Phrase? total situation? Did it remind you of something painful in the past?

Then look in yourself: WHY is this making me feel insecure? What EXACTLY am i insecure about? The situation? How M'Lord feels about me? Losing M'Lord?

What can i do do make myself feel MORE secure, both now (in the current situation) and in the future? What can M'Lord do to help me overcome this insecurity? (Believe me, a lot of insecurity in ANY relationship comes from a lack of communication, and "we" sub/slaves are great at holding things back *grin*) Can i overcome this on my own, or is this something W/we need to work on together?

i have been active in BDSM for over 10 years, and in a RT, 24/7 relationship for 3 years. Despite having known Master for over 3/4 of my life, i STILL feel insecure at times. :-)

Lord Shiva's saphire

(in reply to wildpony)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: going the distance - 2/9/2004 6:09:58 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
CHOOSES TO POST MY OWN ADVO, WELL JUST BECAUSE....
(looks up at MODII with My Most inocent wicked smile)

MISTRESS SEEKS SLAVES!!BLACK HAIR, BLACK EYES,
6'-290LBS BBBW SADIST POLY DOMME NEEDS SLAVES.WILL
BE 24/7 IN REAL LIFE LONGTERM BUT IF OVER THE INTERNET
IS ALL YOU SEEK WELL I SUPPOSE I COULD FINANCIALLY,
SEXUALLY,MENTALLY,SPIRITUALLY,PHYSICALLY DOMINANT
YOUR EVERY MOMENT. SLAVES WILL WITHOUT A WORD
DO ANYTHING AND EVERY THING I SAY AT ALL TIMES TO
BE GIVEN THE PRIVILEGE OF MY PRESANCE ON LINE OR
BE GIVEN THE CHANCE IN REAL LIFE 2 SERVE. CONTACTS WILL BE
THRU HERE ON COLLARME.COM AND EXPECT TO GIVE UP
EVERYTHING IN YOUR CURRENT LIFE BE IT SOCIALLY OR
MATERIALLY TO BECOME MY POSESSION AND EARN THE RIGHT
TO SERVE ME. MY NEGOTIATION FORMS(CONTRACTS) ARE
EXTENSIVE AND THROUGH AND MOST WILL BE A BINDING
CONTRACT FOR VOLUNTARY SERVITUDE (DOMESTIC EXTREAMIST)
IM NOT LOOKIN FOR LOVE OR MY *ONE SO DONT THINK IT WILL
BE YOU BECAUSE IT WONT. I HAD A LOVE OF MY LIFE ALLREADY
IN A MASTER OF 27 YEARS AND BELIEVE ME YOU WILL NOT BE
FILLING HIS SHOES EVER AS A sa ms. IF YOUR YOUNG,DUMB,
AND FULL OF CUM WITH A NEED TO BE BROW BEAT AND SUMONE TO
SPEND ALL OF YOUR PAYCHECK WITH OUT SEEING ME,IM YOUR GAL,
AND I KNOW THAT ALL OF YOU worthless peon slaves are out
there looking for ME male and female, SO GET YOUR ASSES
ON HERE AND WRITE,MT HAIR AND NAILS NEED TO GET DONE TODAY.
P.S. ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN
A COURT OF LAW......................HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! BEEN
THERE DONE THAT!!Here is My question to this Board....
NOW WHAT slave OR sub WOULDENT JUST ADORE ME OWNING THEM??
(drops this here while sticking My tongue out at ShadowHwk
whom seems to be playing in the same schoolyard I do alltho
at oppisite ends of the playground and goes in running down the
collarme.com hall to General posts to find where else Im
suppose to drop this as well...scrolls up to read saphires
directions again so I make sure that I am in the least A
consistant Sadist.)

(in reply to wildpony)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: going the distance - 2/16/2004 2:31:14 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Since you are asking subs, I'll reply, but first a caveat.

akame was right. There is no one key. (Unless you mean your chastity belt.)

A D/s relationship is (drum roll please) a relationship. All the things you hear about being the foundation of a good relationship apply to a D/s relationship.

One that I find is emphasized is trust. (You may find it is something else. "Infinite diversity in infinite combinations" and all)

I find trust elevated because:

1) You trust her to not slit your throat after tying you up (or to untie you at the scenes end)
2) If you serve her breakfast in bed daily she must trust you to not poison the coffee (or to not burn the toast)
3) You have to trust her to see if you are getting "real" damage during a scene and stop
4) She has to trust you to not safeword for everything
5) You have to trust that she will appreciate all you give her
6) She has to trust you will keep on giving (Yesterday does not guarantee today.)

A side note. Are you more focused on you than her. (Note: nothing you said could mean that but it is a common malady.)

If BDSM is all about you (general you) then she WILL lose interest (in the selfish guy.)

That is not to say she will never feed your kink to make you happy, but if there is nothing in it for her... (BTW, don't make a common male mistake and assume she won't put up with things for the pervert she loves. [Even if she tells you, you can never be sure what is going through a woman's mind – don't try.])

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to wildpony)
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RE: going the distance - 2/16/2004 1:17:10 PM   
hisbijou


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline
if i may say, there is no key to submission. submission is not about the person You submit to, it is within Yourself. find and enjoy the beauty that is YOU. there is nothing more beautiful than a submissive who feels that inner devotion. it transforms the mundane, the ordinary, into something beautiful, and ethereal.
just my opinion...be well
bijou

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: going the distance - 2/16/2004 1:20:56 PM   
hisbijou


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline
and continually strive to be open....lay down Your defenses. Trust is easy to do when the costumes are in place, and the atmosphere is right...it is more difficult when things look ordinary, and it is not labelled as "opportunity to trust Master, right here and now!" this is an area that i am working on....
bijou

(in reply to hisbijou)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: going the distance - 2/23/2004 7:58:08 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wildpony

i'm new here and newish to the lifestyle but not the mindset. i'm looking for help finding ways keeping my beautiful Dom interested. what is the key to submission?



I agree with everyone on the trust issue. However I'd like to add. Get to know him. Learn how to push his buttons as well. You can always give him a treat he did'nt ask for.
I know little things I can do or wear...that will drive my Dom wild. Although we have been together 5 years now as well.
You'll get to know him in time.

Gloria

(in reply to wildpony)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: going the distance - 3/9/2004 6:42:20 PM   
kalikatt


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/9/2004
Status: offline
The responses were great on an emotional level.

On the physical here and now. I think you could try learning something new about submission every week. There are lots of books and stuff on line to read.
I try to come up with something to add a new flavour about once a week, so I don't get burned out.
A new posture, a new phrase, a new scene toy, new scene costumes. Domina's like lifestyle gifts and there are lots of places to buy kinky stuff.

http://www.wickedlicks.com is one of my friends. Have Fun!!!

_____________________________

This will follow you into your dreams, for years, a lifetime...a lifestyle.

(in reply to wildpony)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: going the distance - 3/25/2004 12:17:19 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline
MistressDread, You have said it all. coming from a non collared slave. i've been in the bdsm all my life but found out a few years ago how to use it~~~

quote~if a snake bites before it is charmed there is no profit
for the charmer.

knees2You

(in reply to kalikatt)
Profile   Post #: 12
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