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Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 4:08:31 PM

WiseCracknSadist

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When I started on Collarme I thought what a wonderful place to meet like minded individuals and subs. As it turns out I have found two submissives without usinf collarme at all. I knew almost instantly what they were. Lokking back I could always tell a woman who would be more willing to do my bidding over one who did not.

I wanted to ask other Doms both male and female if they could "smell" the submission on others. Did you know what they were before they did?

Secondary question... How many think that there are mre submissive people out there but they get hung up on the label of submissive? They have all the tendancies of a sub but once they hear that label they freak out.

RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 4:14:01 PM

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This is rather like the question about newbies and vanillas, which is better.

To repeat, if it is in public in the vanilla world, I might see someone I'm attracted to, but it ends at a look. I don't approach people in the vanilla world.

To utilize a label that 'we' understand to one of 'them' is difficult at best until they have a better understanding of who they are or what they want. A little reading goes a long way.

Jeff

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 4:27:49 PM

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nope

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 4:50:39 PM

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That's why I take really long, hot showers and scrub real hard.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 5:14:06 PM

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i would like to answer this ... in this world i am submissive but in the vanilla world, i am dominate. i use the principles of D/s in my work, parenting, and in my vanilla social life in regards to friends.

i don't know that i "smell" submission in others but it usually does not take long to determine it.

i think there are many submisive in the vanilla world who see submission as a weakness because society teaches them this...

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 5:32:28 PM

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I think people send off vibes. Some they are aware of and some they aren't.
There have been times where I've instantly known that someone was dominant so I can't see why the reverse wouldn't be true.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 9:08:06 PM

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yes i pick up submissive energy quickly, and so do subs percieve my dominance, whether in the lifestyle or not. i know there r lots of people who r dominant personalities in the vanilla world that like 2 be sexually submissive, either as a kind of balance or desire to be mastered by someone stronger. that has never seemed too logical to me, i m just a simple guy though.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 9:14:40 PM

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I think that you can often "smell" submission but then again, I don't know all that many men that can't be made to do your bidding if you have the right approach.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 9:22:52 PM

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There are many times when I can tell if someone is a dominant, even if they aren't acting like it. There's an energy, or vibe as Aileen says, that dominants have. So do submissives, though that's a little more difficult for me to detect since that's similar rather than opposite of my own energy signature.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 9:28:21 PM

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only when they pee on the rug.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/4/2007 9:35:00 PM

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There's always got to be chemistry. After all, just because a person says she's a slave doesn't mean she'll work in a relatonship with YOU. I personally don't actively pick up vanillas because I don't have a need for it and the whole coming out process and working things through is not for me, but I'm not against the possibility of meeting someone and going through it if life happened to throw it towards me.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/5/2007 1:03:56 AM

mons

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greetings to all

i have found i have two sides to me i think much of myself sometimes what would happen if i give myself up to submissive. i have found someone had felt it in me before i did but my dominant side it stronger.
i have sense the submissive in males when i was in a shopping martket and it was the first time i knew i could feel this in many males. as for my own feeling i will keep them under wraps. the stronger part of me is winning but sometime .............................

warm wishes ( what a wonder post )
mons

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/6/2007 8:08:17 AM

servicewithsmile

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Ah, well....lol
From my end....
Sometimes when I'm traveling, and a businessman is on his phone with a subordinate and he is giving them orders and being 'all that' in his Brooks Brothers suit, I get a bit gooey inside. I smile to myself and feel a little slipping into that special place where, had he come over and looked me in the eyes and said, Here's some money, run and get me some coffee, I would have done it. (grin)
I've been lightheartedly mocked for being obsequious before. Mundanes seem to have a knee-jerk gag reflex when it comes to someone really accomodating.
I like to give way if someone seems bent on a purpose in public -like at the gas station, letting them enter before me. I'm even more struck if they stop and let me go first. I always say thank you. It makes me smile for at least 5 minutes.
Sometimes in a mundane group discussion if someone seems coherent, intelligent and assertive, no matter their looks, I will get quieter and quieter.
Can they smell my submission? I don't know. When I see/feel intelligent dominance though, I certainly start slipping away to that special place inside me.
I love it.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/6/2007 3:40:48 PM

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A lot of times I meet woman in the vanilla world that act so submissive that I think that they either are a part of the lifestyle and there are those that I know would love the lifestyle and dont know anything about it especially when they are constantly facing certain issues with relationships however, since being more involved with the lifestyle the past couple of years I have developed a certain eewww factor when it comes to them. I really dont like vanilla woman and I have a tought time with woman who are vanilla but think that this life style is something they would really love to try out because the other sites arent working...LOL
In short I think that vanilla woman belong in the vanilla world and they cant ever be trusted as far as what they say they like or are into. I found that a lot of woman especially after break-ups are scattered in there thoughts and they have a tendency to over think things and confuse themselves so I dont view them as people who are responsible enough to consent to anything so I just stay away from shit like that.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/31/2007 5:31:43 AM

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It better be a throw rug..lol..Wall to wall would require to much febreeze lol

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/31/2007 6:02:23 AM

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I don't think you can "smell" submission or dominance for that matter. People can have a dual nature and sometimes, that business man ordering around his subordinate is just a bully, while the woman who seems obsequious is just shy. Sometimes the man who seems dominant is just arrogant. Sometimes the alpha female who in charge of a boardroom, is the one who wishes she was tied up over the conference table and being used by everyone in the room.

So no.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/31/2007 6:46:26 AM

crouchingtigress

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people finely tune their skills over time that will help them meet their needs in life...whether in a career, navigating office or family politics, and of course pursuing a mate.

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/31/2007 7:13:15 AM

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Well, I think a person might notice passiveness or assertiveness in another person; sure. But for me that has nothing to do with being either submissive or Dominant in the way to which I’d be attracted.

For me, a relationship I’d want is much more than D/s…it includes BDSM, a Power Exchange, a commitment to the lifestyle I’ve come to enjoy.

And I’m with LA regarding the lack of joy I find in helping someone ‘come out’ or not. I’m not interested in ‘coming out’ to them, while they try to figure out if I’m a freak or not. I’d much rather be with a person who already knows…that they wanna be involved in BDSM, I mean!

bearlee

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RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/31/2007 8:50:33 AM

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I can't unfortunately, but it might be due to the fact that I've met more fiesty subs/slaves than openly submissive,shy, quiet ones, so I came to the conclusion that you can't tell so I conditioned Myself to having any kind of radar.

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)

RE: Can you smell the submission? - 3/31/2007 8:59:19 AM

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Saw this scroll by...

I honestly don't know, but I have had the experience (lately, in fact) of others picking it up in me. I attribute it to the fact that I've become a lot more "open" with close friends and that perhaps I've relaxed somewhat. The first time it happened was beyond inappropriate, but happened just the same (I think I journaled about it here)--so either people guess really well or yes, there is some sort of perseptive-something that is around submissives/dominants--or well, at least that has held true with me.

In college, for example, I would naturally be attracted to the more dominant personalities around me. I had rather good "luck" in that 3/4 of the more serious relationships I had were with someone that already knew of his personality and Dom-ness. hehe.

If I were to get philosophical, it's probably just the yin-yang thing. But I am babbling, and the demon of mindless tasks is sucking up my time. Must. go. accomplish. stuff.

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