all i said was no thank you (Full Version)

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suckpuppet -> all i said was no thank you (3/30/2005 5:19:15 AM)

The first post was inappropriate it has been removed.

It did deal with Dom's not taking a simple no thank you for an answer.
I have been D/s for 5 years as sub.. and had left d/t antics as such... may be this is why I still need to rethink.. i entered because of civility, but the longer i stay, the Players, the way over Top Alpha's, the Men who have not dealt w/ anger mangement issues w/ women and those Men who can not respect themselves, let alone the sub. Life is too short to get caught up with anger, taking things personal or being mean, (I again apologise for my first posting i was wrong).
sp



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: all i said was no thank you (3/30/2005 5:43:25 AM)

WHY exactly is this half understood mud being slung around in public?

It just makes everyone look dirty, and makes me sigh in frustration for the idea we can just move on and handle things like mature adults?

I don't know who these people are, I don't know what the situation is, but I know I've seen it a dozen times before and it's ALWAYS CRAP.



siamsa24 -> RE: all i said was no thank you (3/30/2005 5:48:49 AM)

THANK YOU! I didn't want to say anything, I am so glad that you feel the same way I do. There is a reason for both the DELETE button and the BLOCK button, just use them people!



mistoferin -> RE: all i said was no thank you (3/30/2005 5:56:06 AM)

suckpuppet,
I see that this is your first post to the boards. I would like to first say welcome! While I can certainly understand how receiving an email of that nature would be personally aggravating, it is not really "appropriate" to copy it here to the boards, and if I am not mistaken, may even be against the TOS of this site. This site is intended and used more for the sharing of thoughts and ideas and to ask and respond to questions regarding alternative lifestyles. I can see why you would not want contact with this man, I would do as suggested....block or delete.



suckpuppet -> RE: all i said was no thank you (3/30/2005 7:10:53 AM)

Thank you for a openand congenial reply mistoerin... i apologize... for the posting and i will remove his portion but keep my own......



suckpuppet -> RE: all i said was no thank you (3/30/2005 7:15:21 AM)

Then i will ask my original question. within the community when a sister sub gives information to another sister sub about the (/) actions of a DOM, why can't a simply no thank up be enough...[&:]



mistoferin -> RE: all i said was no thank you (3/30/2005 9:09:54 AM)

While I believe a simple no thank you should surely be enough for most people, there are those with insecurities who feel the need to lash out against rejection of any type. My best advice to you is to shrug off their rant. You know what you are looking for so don't ever let someone "guilt" or "berate" you into something that you are not comfortable with. Stick to your guns and if that is not acceptable to someone, then just wish them well and don't look back. Remember that while we are all responsible for our actions...we are not responsible for their reactions. Hope that helps.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: all i said was no thank you (3/30/2005 9:35:12 AM)

While I agree that a no thank you to the person should be more than sufficient and not cause someone to lash out at you, there could be another side here.

This "submissive sister" could very well be a veangeful psycho ex who hounds this guys new interests and spreads rumors and makes it very difficult for him to be with new people and you might be the lastest in a long string.



suckpuppet -> RE: all i said was no thank you (3/31/2005 1:20:15 AM)

May I ask who you are implying is the "psycho ex" for I can assure you, ES that it is not the sub who gave me the info for she only dated the Dom in question 1-2 times. I think you have to have a "relationship" to becomes an "ex" in proper terms. I have known the sub sister for over 3 years, I had no need to doubt her information.
Let's just drop this, please. I have apologised and I have learned a lesson and that is to think very hard if i ever wish to post here again. I corrected my error in posting. I again thank you, Erin for your input, and your positive nature.
Live by this:
1) be impeccable in your word.
2)do not take any thing personal.
3) do not make assumptions
4) do your best each day.
blessings,
sp



Mercnbeth -> RE: all i said was no thank you (4/2/2005 8:39:50 AM)

quote:

1) be impeccable in your word.
2)do not take any thing personal.
3) do not make assumptions
4) do your best each day.


it would be appropriate to credit Don Miguel Ruiz, author of the book "The Four Agreements" and with Janet Mills "The Voice of Knowledge, A Toltec Wisdom Book" as these 4 statements are the 'Four Agreements' detailed in the first book and referenced again in the second, that can guide one to inner peace.

this slave has read the second book and it is a fantastic read, especially for those struggling with the lies within their own selves and with the lies of others they confront every day. this slave would hate to see the reference pulled for not giving credit where credit is due(plagiarism).



LadyAngelika -> RE: all i said was no thank you (4/6/2005 4:08:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
it would be appropriate to credit Don Miguel Ruiz, author of the book "The Four Agreements"


Good call beth!

On the topic of Don Miguel Ruiz, I found his book "The Mastery of Love" to be most excellent in dealing with issues surrounding co-dependant relationships and deals directly with controlling/minimizing the type of drama that has been described in this thread. The first 2 sentences of this book read: "Perhaps you have never thought about it, but on one level or another, all of us are masters. We are masters because we have the power to create and rule our own lives".

- LA







BigBeninLA -> RE: all i said was no thank you (4/7/2005 11:48:23 PM)

That you even take time to send a "no thank you" to someone who has shown an interest in you and written you, but in whom you are not interested, already places you far above the vast majority of people I have encountered, particularly on this site. Kudos to you for maintaining your sense of etiquette and integrity.



sputniklove -> RE: all i said was no thank you (4/8/2005 2:19:12 PM)

Why is a simple no thank you not enough ? Because there are many people out there in the commuinity as a whole that feel that being crass and vulgar somehow makes them MORE appealing, my sub had shared some of the emails that were sent to her,and all I could think was....WOW and you expect to be contacted from this bullshit. When I first joined I posed a query as to the proper way to contact a slave or a sub, to see what opinions were out there,knowing how I would go about it, but to share information. There are alot of Dom's and Domme's, Masters andd Mistresses out there whom exist only in the cyber,and as one memebr put it so well, proabley work for sears have never had a girlfriend/boyfriend/sub/slave and take the bus.
Another funny reply was "I am .....I command you top drop to your knees and worship me as a God, you will obey my every request.....you ...(and you can susbstitute or insert whatever form this has taken with you and you have all gotten this upon occasion I am certain) and while SOME may find this enticing,the majority of people for an introduction would not....simply said "no thanks" should be enough- no thanks simple, direct,and to the point no grey area,it should always be enough.



SweetDommes -> RE: all i said was no thank you (4/8/2005 3:19:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: suckpuppet

May I ask who you are implying is the "psycho ex" for I can assure you, ES that it is not the sub who gave me the info for she only dated the Dom in question 1-2 times. I think you have to have a "relationship" to becomes an "ex" in proper terms. I have known the sub sister for over 3 years, I had no need to doubt her information.


I just want to say that her point is a valid one, as you did not give any information about the person who gave you the information about the dominant - only that she was a 'submissive sister'. Her comment was not intended to slander the submissive who gave you the information, but to make sure that you had thought of that possibility - and to make sure that others who come across this thread with similar problems consider it as well.

I know of people ( dominant, submissive and vanilla) who have gone out of their way to sabotage relationships with their ex's (and the funny thing is, one of them was a "submissive" who didn't want the guy because he was a switch that identified more as sub than Dom and she couldn't stand him if he wasn't in full out "Dom-mode") because they couldn't stand to see him/her happy with someone else.



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