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What does a sub want? - 3/13/2007 12:47:17 PM   

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Last weekend was great! My master chained me spread eagle in the basement and I experienced "sub Space" for the first time. (I am new to all of this)

Now I have been asked to "switch" but I am not sure what to do....I asked my partner what he wanted and he has not replyed.

Any suggestions?
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RE: What does a sub want? - 3/13/2007 1:48:33 PM   

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Until he talks to you, there's really little you can do. He's got to give you some leads. Open communication is important...but it might be hard for someone who hasn't ever really looked into themselves to try and figure out what they want. Be patient.

Master Fire


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(in reply to leather4pearls)
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RE: What does a sub want? - 3/13/2007 5:24:00 PM   

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are you feeling pressured into switching? perhaps you are not someone who can or wants to switch to the top role. 

i agree with the need for him to have more communication about his wants and expectations.  When you went into the relationship were you aware that he would want you to switch and top him.?

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: What does a sub want? - 3/13/2007 6:49:01 PM   

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If you WANT to top, and he WANTS to bottom, make it about what YOU want.

Not so much about what he wants.  The whole energy of it will be 'real' for him that way and he will enjoy it.  It might be hard to find yourself in that space, but give it a go.  Worse comes to worse, you stop the scene and talk about it.

Now, if you are doing this TO PLEASE HIM - and there is nothing wrong with that - he will have to fess up to what he wants a little.

If he is unwilling to do this, perhaps ask him to send you links to stories that turn him on (from - say - ) That might help prime the pump a little.


(in reply to goodpet)
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RE: What does a sub want? - 3/13/2007 9:29:18 PM   

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Try to communicate about it as much as possible, and everybody is different, but there is one thing in common.

I can sum it up quite quickly.

They want what you want.


(in reply to fergus)
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RE: What does a sub want? - 3/15/2007 3:23:13 PM   

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Lots of times, you just go for it. look around here, find ideas you wanna try, and when soemthing clicks, you will know it.

worked for me... haha

(in reply to Termyn8or)
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RE: What does a sub want? - 3/15/2007 3:38:23 PM   

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I agree ....You need to talk about this with Him. You also need to decide if this is really something you want to do, as once you do switch with Him, it can really change the dynamics of the relationship, sometimes for the good, othertimes for the bad just depends on the people involved.

(in reply to MowogBobby)
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