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Switching It Up - 3/15/2007 2:28:35 AM

MalenaSalice

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Joined: 3/14/2007
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Okay, here's the deal: I am in a casual play relationship with someone who does a really wonderful job domming me. This has been going on for a little over a month and a half, and has been nothing short of fabulous. However, one night he asked me to domme him (didn't end up happening though, due to a personal illness).

I've mostly subbed in the past, and the only times I have ever dommed were about a year ago, and that mostly consisted of pinning the person down, slapping, pulling hair, etc. Despite some time with the volunteer FD, I can't tie a rope for shit, and I need a good whip to really get a good red ass on a sub, something I still need to rectify.

But beyond the whip, what are some cool scenarios I could try if this opportunity comes up again? He doesn't like CBT, just seems mostly interested in restraint and teasing. The most original idea I could come up with was tying him up, whipping him lightly and grinding him, then maybe riding him after a sufficient amount of time has passed. And it just doesn't feel like a very mindblowing idea for making his first time subbing special.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

< Message edited by MalenaSalice -- 3/15/2007 3:06:59 AM >

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RE: Switching It Up - 3/15/2007 4:07:44 AM

mstrjx

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For a lot of people, their topping style mirrors what they 'would' like if they were on the receiving end. So, what you have experienced might be an indication as to what he would like.

If rope bondage isn't your forte, you might look into getting some padded restraints. A set shouldn't be too terribly expensive, and you can use the rings in the restraints for the rope and knot-tying. A quick and easy alternative is bungee-type bicycle tie-downs. With 4 of these, a set of wrist- and ankle-cuffs and a full-size bed, you have 'instant spreadeagle' in the time it takes for you to walk around the bed.

Jeff

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RE: Switching It Up - 3/15/2007 7:16:30 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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I think you guys need to talk and work through it. You can't just order someone "Dom me!" and expect a good result. If he wants you to be a good top for him, he's going to have to teach you some basic techniques, talk about what you want together, where his headspace goes- pretty much everything he had to do to become a capable top towards you.

Oh and don't worry about the first time thing- they very rarely are fabulous and practically never are the best. It's a first time, enjoy making mistakes and having fun.

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RE: Switching It Up - 3/15/2007 7:48:10 AM

MasterFireMaam

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If what he wants is bondage and restraint, I suggest these two tools: Saran wrap and duct tape. Excellent bondage that is almost impossible to get out of, if done correctly. Use the saran first, then layer the duct tape on top. The only trink is to learn how tight to make the bond...you want it tight enough to hold without cutting of circulation. Make sure you have a pair of bandage sissors to cut him out if necessary. Eventually, you can mummify him...but make sure you read info about it first.

But, LA is right. He needs to communicate and participate in the discussion about what will and will not go on. Talk to him and ask him what things he's thinking about when he says that.

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RE: Switching It Up - 3/15/2007 11:57:37 PM

MalenaSalice

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Thanks kindly for the advice. We discussed it more tonight, and I am feeling much more grounded on what I can do to make it enjoyable for him.

Yay for open lines of communication!

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