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"Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 9:29:27 AM

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how do you personally define the term "beating"? does it differ from spanking/whipping/flogging/paddling etc.? are beatings a part of your D/s or bdsm dynamic, and if so, under what circumstances?

years ago i was on another message board and mentioned being beaten by my Master. whoopty doo right? well, quite a few were disturbed/bothered by the b-word, and made clear as far as they were concerned, beatings=abuse, and this lifestyle is not about abuse, blah blah, yackety smackety. have to say it confused and amused the heck outta me (and my Master lol).

so what do you all feel about "beating"?

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 9:33:13 AM

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Beating is over doing a punishment.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 9:40:16 AM

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I use it as any impact play.

I know it squicks people, which is amusing when I use it. But it's an appropriate word for me.

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RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 9:46:51 AM

crouchingtigress

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to me it is any sort of impact play...mostly floggers, slapping, punching and paddles, because i tend to use the word caning or whipping to refer to those activitys.....beatings though is a good catch-all if many techniques are employed

.those folks that say all that crap have triggers around the word....sometimes they are open to you pointing it out...and sometimes they would rather not look at their social conditioning.

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RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 9:47:44 AM

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from my most recent LJ post, "Boy, how i would love to be blindfolded, tied up and beaten. "

punishment = just that [a spanking thats not built up or the dressage whip]
play = spanking, flogging or anything small & fun
beating = tied up, spreader bars, blindfold, ropes, cane, crop etc- beatings are involved, usually pushes my thresholds hard, and eventually send me into space.

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RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 9:58:32 AM

onestandingstill

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Beating to me just means impact from one person to another Consensual or non-consensual.

I think probably 70% of people if not more would only think of negative impact play or punishments as beatings and consensual stuff as spanking, whipping, caning, paddeling etc...

I think we all have to accept our perspectives of a word often don't convey to someone what's real as their reality and yours are so different.
Often one says something clear, the other hears it clear, but both walk away thinking they had a whole different conversation than each other based on their own perspectives.

suzanne

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:02:45 AM

Hotch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

years ago i was on another message board and mentioned being beaten by my Master. whoopty doo right? well, quite a few were disturbed/bothered by the b-word, and made clear as far as they were concerned, beatings=abuse, and this lifestyle is not about abuse, blah blah, yackety smackety. have to say it confused and amused the heck outta me (and my Master lol).

so what do you all feel about "beating"?

Unfortunately no matter where life takes you, you run into morons who can't form a cognitive thought in their head.
Let’s try a test...

Which one of these sentences use the word "beaten" in the context of informed consent?

A. "Tim was jumped in the alley and (beaten) senseless."
B. "My mommy say's if I wake daddy I'll be (beaten)."
C. "Your attitude has displeased me slave, you will now be (beaten)."
D. All of the above.

Don't strain yourselves to hard on this one people.

Damn... had to edit my own quiz...

< Message edited by Hotch -- 3/15/2007 10:07:12 AM >

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:04:21 AM

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Beating to Me is any time that I have inflicted force, but too lazy to associate the term with the weapon I have used.

(in reply to onestandingstill)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:09:41 AM

pdv99

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For me, "Beating" suggests any activity that involves repetitive blows. In England (and I understand American is a different language) you might use "beating up" to indicate something abusive. Beating is a generic term doesn't specify the implement (as whipping or paddling do) - or the part of the anatomy (spanking usually being on the "arse" or legs). Any such "percussive" activity may be abusive or not! One could be beaten with a feather boa, but it would be unlikely to be abusive unless you had a phobia or allergy to such.

(in reply to onestandingstill)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:09:50 AM

nissa

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I look it at it also as any activity that involves heavy impact; in both good and bad ways. I do not however, think negatively when I hear the word.

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RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:11:02 AM

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Beating, to me, implies impact play that leaves significant marks.

Master Fire

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RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:11:05 AM

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honestly I guess Im one of those that dont much like the word beating.. it has such a negative conotation aspecially for someone who was beat a few times as a child it was abuse and fucked with my head.. that is NOT what Master doest to me.. he doesnt abuse me and i guess I have a hard time seperating bad childhood experiance from the word that was used to describe it... I would like to get over it because honesty by D/s deffanitions and Im gunna use Minxi's defanition because it is the one I really agree with and is basicaly what Master does to me then yes it would be a beating... there was a time even admiting that would make my blood run cold but honestly as I become more exepting of thigs and more open and experiansed I have less probles useing the word i still dont like it and sometimes it does make me flntch maybe one day Ill be totaly desensatised to it and be able to say "Master beat me last night and it was great." and not feel that little twing I feel.. Im getting closer to that as i have notised it doesnt really bother me any more when I see people here use it to describe what they do.. and that used to really bother me. I just havent gotten quite to the point where I can say it and have it not bother me but im getting there.

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
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(in reply to onestandingstill)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:23:17 AM

vield

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Beating has a number of meanings besides physical impacts, though I know that is what the discussion is centered upon. Beating can relate to winning, as in beating an opponent in a card game or a sport competition. It also can involve winning your way up wind in a sailing craft, or playing drums.

Thus I feel in the BD/SM context it is another example of an English term which can mean a number of things, which is why good negotiations are so important. You and your new partner can both be honestly discussing each of your desires and needs and limits without either fully understnding what the other is talking about until you go over things and give each other good feedback.

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RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:28:14 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I think we all have to accept our perspectives of a word often don't convey to someone what's real as their reality and yours are so different.
Often one says something clear, the other hears it clear, but both walk away thinking they had a whole different conversation than each other based on their own perspectives.

suzanne

this is so true! and that is why truly productive communication between those with different "definitions" can be so difficult/exasperating.

(in reply to onestandingstill)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:30:15 AM

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I'm sorry you were abused as a child Magik's slave. I also understand the negative conotation of the word beating. It's the same for me with pain. Pain conjours up all kinds of negative images in my mind. I was actually in pain for years but because I have such a high pain threshold I never really paid much attention to it BUT it wore me down. And actually the kind of pain that we indulge in was a blessed relief. It pushed the nagging horrible physical and emotional pain into the background and gave me some relief. I had been using hot candle wax for years but it wasn't enough. I was about ready to start cutting myself when I discovered the lifestyle. Slowly but surely it is helping me to rebuild the dominant, confident person that I would have been if I hadn't been sexually abused. I hope being a slave helps you get over your abuse.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:32:18 AM

Hotch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

honestly I guess Im one of those that dont much like the word beating.. it has such a negative conotation aspecially for someone who was beat a few times as a child it was abuse and fucked with my head.. that is NOT what Master doest to me.. he doesnt abuse me and i guess I have a hard time seperating bad childhood experiance from the word that was used to describe it.

It's terrible how childhood abuse (at any level) leaves such deep and lasting scars. Jez will submit to most kinds of impact play (beating), BUT she has a hard limit of hairbrushes. She was beat with a hairbrush as a child. I can stripe her ass raw with a cane and she will be fine, but if I take out a hairbrush, it would devistate her and ruin all we have built together.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:34:14 AM

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thanks everyone for all the response thus far, i am finding them quite interesting, how much the same term can differ in meaning from one person to another.

my own definition of "beating" would be a combination of couple of the ones mentioned above: significant impact involving repetitve blows. one or two punches is being "hit", six, ten punches is being "beaten." i suppose the implement used doesn't really matter (as long as it achieves significant impact), although when i use the term i am usually referring to punches, kicks, and blows from a belt. i also tend to view beating as a bit of a free-for-all...something that is not ultra controlled or planned. that is actually why i've always preferred to use the term beating to refer to things that take place in my relationship, to sort of make clear that i'm not referring to "play" or a "scene." but more than likely that's simply my own experiences with it coloring my perspective.

< Message edited by daddysprop247 -- 3/15/2007 10:35:36 AM >

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RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:36:17 AM

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i think you can receive "truest hardcore slave award" now LOL

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RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:39:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotch

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

honestly I guess Im one of those that dont much like the word beating.. it has such a negative conotation aspecially for someone who was beat a few times as a child it was abuse and fucked with my head.. that is NOT what Master doest to me.. he doesnt abuse me and i guess I have a hard time seperating bad childhood experiance from the word that was used to describe it.

It's terrible how childhood abuse (at any level) leaves such deep and lasting scars. Jez will submit to most kinds of impact play (beating), BUT she has a hard limit of hairbrushes. She was beat with a hairbrush as a child. I can stripe her ass raw with a cane and she will be fine, but if I take out a hairbrush, it would devistate her and ruin all we have built together.

I know that feeling well.. There are many things that hit triggers in me.. Master has triped a few of them accidentaly but he deals with it so loveingly when he does that tripping those triggers has made our relationship stronger.. I am truely very lucky.

Magik's lucky slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Hotch)

RE: "Beating"...just what is it? - 3/15/2007 10:42:13 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

i think you can receive "truest hardcore slave award" now LOL

alas, that title has already been claimed. perhaps in another ten, fifteen years or so. :)

(in reply to mixielicous)

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