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Cutting - 3/15/2007 4:39:25 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Good afternoon,
Ok, I know that there are a few threads out there regarding self injury and cutting in specifics. I am a cutter and have read a few posts but what I couldn't find though are ways that people deal with it. Whether it be some sort of distraction, or if they find some other alternative to it. Or if anyone can point me in the right direction so I can read more.
Thank you to all

Post #: 1

RE: Cutting - 3/15/2007 4:52:18 PM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline

Making up a suport network of people to talk to and get help from when I started to "get that feeling" helped for me.

Best wishes,

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Post #: 2

RE: Cutting - 3/15/2007 5:36:23 PM

ta2dqt

Posts: 375
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

Tattoos, piercings, and guaging my piercings helped me.............................so does excersising and drinking beer! (but not usually at the same time!) ;)

_____________________________

"Ask not that your Dom can do for you, but what you can do for your Dom."

"People are like fine wine, they get better with age!"

"Everything happens for a reason."

myspace.com/theoneandonlyta2dqt

(in reply to KeirasSecret)

Post #: 3

RE: Cutting - 3/15/2007 5:43:44 PM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

I find something else to do, housework, going for a walk, calling someone on the phone..whatever it takes to not cut anymore. I went to go someplace the other day and could wear short sleeves again, I couldn't believe all of the scars on my arms..it was awful.

I may not always deal with them in a healthy way (the urges), so I won't say how I do (no need to give someone ideas), but I have at least beat this demon for now, and I plan to keep it that way.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to ta2dqt)

Post #: 4

RE: Cutting - 3/15/2007 11:02:59 PM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

I have a few links which may be helpful.

http://www.selfharm.net/
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+self-harm.htm
http://www.reachout.com.au/default.asp?ti=281
http://www.mirror-mirror.org/selfinj.htm

Talking with someone, distraction including meditation or breathing techniques, removing yourself from the situation and doing some physical activity are a few things that may be helpful.

Hope this helps

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(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 5

RE: Cutting - 3/16/2007 5:03:13 AM

moonspirit43

Posts: 25
Joined: 1/21/2005
Status: offline

Having a rubberband, or hair tie that has no metal, around your wrist can be helpful. If you get a realy bad urge at a random place or time, you can lightly snap it. It can help to relieve things before they build up and it can be done anywhere. That's a just a physical alternative that can sometimes help if you're just beginning trying to stop. You do have to be careful not to do it too much though.

The distraction techniques (exercise, read, homework/housework) is a good habit to get into so you don't just replace one self harm with another though, which the rubber band can turn into. So just be aware that the rubber band is a very temporary thing as you learn to cope in better ways.

Good luck

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 6

RE: Cutting - 3/16/2007 5:23:00 AM

AnAtlantaDom

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline

Try these sites:

http://www.homestudycredit.com/courses/contentSM/contentsSM.html
http://www.homestudycredit.com/courses/contentGB/trkGB01lo.html

I got them from a therapist who is kink friendly. Her comment on the 2nd. site:

The guy has a really nice non-clinical way of talking about the true nature of the addict's mind, which is extremely different from the non-addict's. This is why jail and dui's ;and all that don't break addicts or make them think they have a problem.

Good luck in your search!!

(in reply to moonspirit43)

Post #: 7

RE: Cutting - 3/16/2007 7:11:47 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

First - know that you arent alone in this, though you know that already I understand
Second - in my case it comes on mainly from rage and corresponding powerlessness to act on it against the person/situation causing it; this makes one immediate solution, to replace myself as the target with something else that isnt going to result in injury to me or someone else, or even damage to anything else.
Third - I had to learn to control my mind better, so that it doesnt get overwhelmed with frustrated rage. This can be difficult and I still lapse from time to time. Best advice I can offer is to let go of the situation - does the cause of my rage matter in the bigger picture? Alternatively I guess that the distraction techniques others have mentioned might work in a similar way
Fourth - in my experience, inability to handle rage and to deal with situations better is something I inherited from my mother, presumably by watching her when she went off during my childhood - never self harm as far as I know, but lots of banging and crashing. Understanding that my behaviour was not a personal flaw in me but something I had learned, helped me to start unlearning it.

E

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(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 8

RE: Cutting - 3/16/2007 8:16:06 AM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: moonspirit43

Having a rubberband, or hair tie that has no metal, around your wrist can be helpful. If you get a realy bad urge at a random place or time, you can lightly snap it. It can help to relieve things before they build up and it can be done anywhere. That's a just a physical alternative that can sometimes help if you're just beginning trying to stop. You do have to be careful not to do it too much though.

The distraction techniques (exercise, read, homework/housework) is a good habit to get into so you don't just replace one self harm with another though, which the rubber band can turn into. So just be aware that the rubber band is a very temporary thing as you learn to cope in better ways.

Good luck

Wow, i never thought of that. It is a great idea for those times that i can't stop myself. I usually just call a friend who understands my thing for pain, and that i only get the urge when i am really upset. I wold say find a friend, or a couple since not everyone is free all the time. It has been a saving grace.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to moonspirit43)

Post #: 9

RE: Cutting - 3/16/2007 10:42:45 AM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline

Wow! I do not have this issue myself so i am not qualified to really give any advice, but i wanted to say how impressed i am by everyone who has responded and shared their own experiences. You guys rock. It takes alot of guts and caring to open yourself up to someone else on a subject like this.

Hugs to everyone! (and i hate touchy feely crap)

(in reply to CrazyC)

Post #: 10

RE: Cutting - 3/16/2007 10:50:44 AM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ta2dqt

Tattoos, piercings, and guaging my piercings helped me.............................so does excersising and drinking beer! (but not usually at the same time!) ;)

Yea, I'm also looking into getting a tattoo. But that may only help me in the short run

(in reply to ta2dqt)

Post #: 11

RE: Cutting - 3/16/2007 10:52:21 AM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

I find something else to do, housework, going for a walk, calling someone on the phone..whatever it takes to not cut anymore. I went to go someplace the other day and could wear short sleeves again, I couldn't believe all of the scars on my arms..it was awful.

I may not always deal with them in a healthy way (the urges), so I won't say how I do (no need to give someone ideas), but I have at least beat this demon for now, and I plan to keep it that way.

No worries, I've found many different ways to cut myself and to find many other destructive ways as well. Luckily for me though to, is that my past scars are almost invisible now and only my parents, myself, a couple of close friends, and my Dom know about them.

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 12

RE: Cutting - 3/16/2007 10:54:55 AM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

Thank you to all, I will definitly check into those websites to see how better I can cope with this.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 13

RE: Cutting - 3/21/2007 2:49:36 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

though my method of dealing with the urges to cut is not conventional or even practical being uncollared right now, it worked very well for me while i was collared, and i hope to find someone in the future who can help me in a similar way...if things got to bad i would ask my last ex to do a cutting on me...controlled and done out of love not self hate or frustration or anger...there were restrictions though...i had to know in my mind (not that he said it) that the cutting was being done out of love not for punishment, he had to be in the right mind as well...not after a long hard day at work for example...and with all the safety precautions in place...
i would also like to point out that my body has a way of harming itself if i am in need of pain...like reaching into the dishwasher and brushing against the knives when i had no intention, consciously at least, to do so...not the only one i know of that does this either, knew a girl that got a spiral fracture because she hadn't been played in such a long time...our bodies are hard wired differently and pain seems to be necessary to function....
hope i made some sense and did not piss too many off
chelle
House Infernus

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 14

RE: Cutting - 3/21/2007 4:46:03 PM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

I was a cutter for 5-7 years, through high school and into college. I sought help eventually. Since my cutting was partially the pain/release, partially the focusing of the methodical activity and partially aesthetic (I liked watching the patterns I was creating), my therapist had me use a red ballpoint pen. She told me that I could press really hard if I needed the pain, but not to break the skin. I made all the patterns I wanted to on my arms without actually "harming" myself. It sounds silly, but I tried it and it worked for me. I started pressing hard and needing to do it frequently, but gradually It got lighter and less frequent. Eventually, I reached a point where I didn't need to do it anymore. Also, my sisterslave was a cutter as well. She sometimes requests a beating when she has the urge to cut. He is happy to reward her for not cutting with the beating she needs. It solves her desire for pain and release. I hope our solutions can help at least spark ideas for you. Blessings!

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 15

RE: Cutting - 3/24/2007 11:24:58 AM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

chelle
There's someone willing if you need a cutting, to do the work. You know how to reach me!

As for me, I haven't conquered cutting yet. Having friends that I can talk to helps sometimes. When I first tried to stop, what came out instead was this horribly incontrollable anger that was even scarier to me.

I did find that hitting cement with a hammer was an outlet. I think a punching bag or speed bag might be installed next time I move. Screaming and crying are something of an outlet.

More than anything, rather than addressing "stop cutting" I adressed the things that led me to cut - improving a relationship with lots of conflict in it, dealing with the other things in life that left me overwhelmed and frustrated. And that helped a lot.

I have had more than one offer by bottoms that if hitting someone else or something would help, they would be willing to bottom for me in times like that, even knowing that this is not my most in control moment. I haven't taken them up on it, but it was a generous offer when it was made.

Good luck getting your handle on this, and feel free to contact if you want to talk to someone else about their experience.

(in reply to beltainefaerie)

Post #: 16

RE: Cutting - 3/24/2007 11:33:44 AM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: beltainefaerie

I was a cutter for 5-7 years, through high school and into college. I sought help eventually. Since my cutting was partially the pain/release, partially the focusing of the methodical activity and partially aesthetic (I liked watching the patterns I was creating), my therapist had me use a red ballpoint pen. She told me that I could press really hard if I needed the pain, but not to break the skin. I made all the patterns I wanted to on my arms without actually "harming" myself. It sounds silly, but I tried it and it worked for me. I started pressing hard and needing to do it frequently, but gradually It got lighter and less frequent. Eventually, I reached a point where I didn't need to do it anymore. Also, my sisterslave was a cutter as well. She sometimes requests a beating when she has the urge to cut. He is happy to reward her for not cutting with the beating she needs. It solves her desire for pain and release. I hope our solutions can help at least spark ideas for you. Blessings!

See, i've actually told my Dom that maybe he should start beating me whenever we're together and i get the urge to cut. i don't think that he was going for that though. So i'm back to square 1 and we're both working on a solution still

(in reply to beltainefaerie)

Post #: 17

RE: Cutting - 3/24/2007 11:35:46 AM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

For me, i need to physically and emotionally get my anger and frustration out. i have tried hitting a weight bag, pillow, unfortantly the wall and doors, but it doesn't seem to help it (for some unknown reason, seriously) makes me more mad because i'm not releasing it on myself.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 18

RE: Cutting - 3/24/2007 6:39:37 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

The only expressions of anger that ended up satisfying were those that were destructive. I ruined the glass on mulitple pictures on the walls, and put stiletto heels through a door more than once. Then afterwards I felt guilty and had to clean up - which I never had to do with cutting. Even worse, when I broke glass I ended up with pieces of glass and did cutting anyway, and instead of clean scars that healed up, I had really bad gashes. My worst scars are from cutting with glass.

I wish you luck in getting a handle on this, I know what it is like to fight this beast.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 19

RE: Cutting - 3/27/2007 3:19:27 AM

twistedkytten

Posts: 240
Joined: 9/8/2006
Status: offline

I have to agree with Elorin, while the suggestions offered are fantastic, with whatever you choose, one must be wary of not simply replacing one learned behaviour with another.. I found first learning to admit the hurt, pain, anger whatever the trigger is.. was very helpful dealing with the triggers also provided relief. However I find I still revert to cutting on occasion informing Master of my desire, He often allows me certain releases under His careful observation. and for me.. not being alone.. made it less.... dark, never are the cuts as deep as they have been when I was alone.

(in reply to Elorin)

Post #: 20

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