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beginner's question about gear - 4/4/2005 1:08:35 PM

piratefish13

Posts: 11
Joined: 2/16/2005
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While it seems like part of the fun is all the gimmicks and gear that one can play with, where does one start? I mean, if you were to recommend a 'newbie's bdsm box' what would be in it? I want to explore but I don't want to freak out my potential partner either. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
piratefish

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RE: beginner's question about gear - 4/4/2005 3:16:10 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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Is your partner vanilla? How about a few cock rings, some clothespins (say they're for nipples and then work up to using them elsewhere), sport sheet cuffs (use Velcro instead of a buckle) and a bunny fur flogger.

What I would say are bare essentials for a toybox are:
paddle/spanking implement
whip or flogger
crop
rope/restraints
clothespins/nipple clips

Personally, I often times use nothing more than original equipment in session.. teeth and nails.

Since you're new, I'll give you a hint of what and where on some of the stuff

whip for newbies, 2 ft Legree http://www.mr-s-leather.com/cgi-bin/mr-s/W81.html This is a very easy to control whip. It leaves short term marks. You can get some longer term marks from wrapping the very tip.

paddle http://reb-online.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=R&Category_Code=P I prefer the round, pingpong paddle shape, but this is just individual choice. You're best off avoiding holes unless you like the idea that you might leave small blister type things on their butt. The next paddle I want is one of the "bat" shaped ones he has.

crop
http://www.horsetackco.com/index.php/cPath/38 I prefer bats to crops. The hand bats are cute, but they don't seem to hold up from the ones I've seen in toybags. I got the doggin bat not too far back and I LOVE it. I also like http://www.horsetackco.com/product_info.php/products_id/810 , since it fits easily in any of my toy carriers. It's pretty lightweight, so don't expect to be able to do a serious flail job with it.

If you decide to go for a flogger, http://www.heartwoodwhips.com/ is a good site. See the items under the gallery, then order from the catalog.

A site for floggers and collars http://www.leathercellar.com/floggers.html She offers a lot of materials for the tails, and explains the texture of each. We got the jeweled and ring collar for my sub, and we like it.

Sport Sheet cuffs http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/ve235.html

bunny fur floggers http://floggers.com/floggers1.htm http://www.detailstoys.com/low_inten_floggers.html

I have a collection of good shopping sites in my links at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Beachs_Dominion/links/shopping_sites_001086304795/

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RE: beginner's question about gear - 4/4/2005 3:58:35 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: piratefish13

While it seems like part of the fun is all the gimmicks and gear that one can play with, where does one start? I mean, if you were to recommend a 'newbie's bdsm box' what would be in it? I want to explore but I don't want to freak out my potential partner either. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
piratefish

If you and your partner are both completely new, I would suggest building a foundation for erotic power exchange without too many props and toys to start with. You can use household items for bondage -- scarves, pantyhose, etc. and your own body for teasing and denial, light pain, and playful rough housing.

As toys get introduced, each one of them carries an expectation with it and also a learning curve. Sometimes, using toys can be awkward and clumsy the first time or few times. If you and your partner are new, the best way to have some play be fluid and without pressure is to not have to manipulate devices and props while exploring new feelings.

Take time to enjoy the emotions and sensations associated with having one partner helpless to the other; he/she can't move, is bound lightly, or is blindfolded. Practice teasing and denial and how it makes both of you feel. Get used to what role you feel comfortable in, and what your dominant or submissive persona feels like, and how the situation makes you feel. What turns you on? What do you find yourself *fantasizing* about doing more of? The dominant partner is going to have to build the single most core foundation: SELF CONFIDENCE. Often if toys are thrown into the mix with an unsure dominant, the result is a feeling of inadequacy and "what do I do next?" or "am I using this wrong?" and that undermines confidence.

I only suggest this approach because as a "born femdom" (I have had these desires as far back as I can remember) I think at age 15/16 when I started to experiment, I would have been intimidated and "grossed out" by some of the tools of the trade -- it's just a lot to swallow at once. I went at my own pace and started with light bondage and roleplaying, and got my first pair of handcuffs around age 17. My toybox grew from there, starting with bondage implements and moving up to pain toys and sex toys. But I bought them as I developed a curiosity for each one; not because I thought those were the items that were "supposed to be used" and I should "learn how to operate them."

It was all instinct and lust. Your mileage may vary.

Akasha

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RE: beginner's question about gear - 4/4/2005 5:01:25 PM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
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quote:

I want to explore but I don't want to freak out my potential partner either.

I'd suggest using "pervertables" to see what you and your playmate like before spending cash for stuff you may not use. You have a closet with clothes, so as AAkasha suggested you can use scarves for bondage; you must have at least 1 belt, and you can use it across someone's ass.

Got a kitchen? You can have fun with ice cubes, spatulas, wooden spoons, knives, forks and other things. Hell, you don't even need anything -- you can bite, pull hair, pinch, poke, prod and slap. Your imagination and a dirty mind can go a long way and you can play games with your partner like seeing who can come up with the most evil use for something common like a rubber band.

There is a thread around here somewhere with "Household objects" in the title, I think. Go to the top of the page and search for it; there are pages of other ideas in there.

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RE: beginner's question about gear - 4/4/2005 7:43:09 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
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M. Fish-

my first implement is still in use today- in fact, it was used saturday night. A simple blindfold I made in 1985, copying one that my mentor suggested as a pattern. Definatly a good first choice.

Also in my bag- though not used- were a pair of cuffs, the next items I made, usually used for ankles these days, but still usable as the wristcuff they were made as.

While it's not required that one make any items ones self, given the ready availibilty of quality gear, both these items are simple enough to make and inexpensive.

After that, a good crop- likely the most vestile implement in your quiver, they are availible in any tackshop, and rather inexpensive compared to most implements. If nothing else it is a wonderful prop- nothing says 'on your knees' like pointing at the floor with a crop<g>.

Say warm,
Lawrence

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RE: beginner's question about gear - 4/4/2005 9:26:51 PM

proudsub

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Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

There is a thread around here somewhere with "Household objects" in the title,

Here you go: household objects

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