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STDs and HIV - 4/4/2005 6:09:35 PM   
lady1


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I am a recent acquired slave and have one worry and concerned about my choice of lifesyle and that is STDs - from the things some Masters I've chatted with would require are very risky behavior for STDs - my Master and I have discussed this in details and he says he is free from any disease, but later in the relationship I would be required to swallow his cum and that worries me. He will not commit to how long before this is required and also anal sex which is risky also. Question is there anybody out there with these concerns and how have you handle it? Refuse to commit to that and keep searching for a Master who will not require swallowing or anal.
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RE: STDs and HIV - 4/4/2005 9:01:01 PM   
proudsub


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I think you have a valid concern. I contracted HPV from my first dom and he swore he was clean. The non wart variety of HPV has no symptoms in men and there is no test for it, but they can pass it and cause problems for women. I noticed you are "older" so you may be interested in this thread:

STDs in older peole

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"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: STDs and HIV - 4/4/2005 10:01:03 PM   
MsSilvie


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I think those are all very valid concerns also. I don't have sexual contact with my play partners, so it's not something I have to address with them. If your Dom is clean, is he willing to get tested for the common STDs and give the doctor's report to you? Is he willing to stay monogamous. Are you willing to do the same things? And, as proudsub said, there are not good tests for everything out there.

Oral sex, while it's not risk free, is less risky than anal or vaginal sex. There is some good info here:

http://www.avert.org/orlsx.htm

It's ultimately your choice if you are willing to get involved, knowing what is expected. I think it's good you are getting info and opinions as much as you can now.

(in reply to lady1)
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RE: STDs and HIV - 4/5/2005 12:28:04 AM   
wetsub000


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You are quite justified in worrying about these things, but I'm surprised that you have made a commitment before you've ironed out this concern. It won't go away and if you're truly not happy with your current Master's intentions then you need to talk to him about it until you are BOTH happy. If that doesn't happen then I think you should consider asking for a release. There are many Masters out there who will accommodate your concerns.

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RE: STDs and HIV - 4/5/2005 7:08:35 AM   
siamsa24


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Personally, I feel that there is nothing wrong with requesting a full line of tests for STDs and having documontations to prove it as long as you are willing to do the same.

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RE: STDs and HIV - 4/5/2005 1:18:07 PM   
sub4hire


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quote:

He will not commit to how long before this is required and also anal sex which is risky also. Question is there anybody out there with these concerns and how have you handle it? Refuse to commit to that and keep searching for a Master who will not require swallowing or anal.


When I was looking I wanted a full workup. I produced the same. Mind you that narrowed the people quite a bit. They usually went off on some tangent about not trusting them. However, I noticed in time those who demanded trust or tried to demand it were not those I cared to speak to anyway.

Of course if you demand the results of the test in the 6 month's one has to stay clean waiting...you get to know them quite well. You'd then know if you made the right decision.

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RE: STDs and HIV - 4/5/2005 1:39:12 PM   
onceburned


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quote:

hey usually went off on some tangent about not trusting them


It can be pointed out that it isn't a matter of trust. Its entirely possible to be infected and be unaware.

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RE: STDs and HIV - 5/24/2005 12:26:32 PM   
cliff06h


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I think there is always a risk where any sexual activity is concerned. There is no fullproof method here, however I know of various people as well as myself that diminishes the risks by using test kits for hiv, hepatitis, syphillis and other STD. These kits will give you results negative or positive within minutes. You can test yourself and your partner/s and have results before any sexual activity takes place.

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RE: STDs and HIV - 5/24/2005 12:32:38 PM   
darkinshadows


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Your concept is flawed.

These HIV tests must be carried out when you have been sexually inactive with anyone for at least 3 months - to be safer - the medical community observe 6 months is the safest time.

I can be really annoying - and follow you around - not because I have nothing better to do - but because your mis information COULD potentially cause complications in someones life - and that may ultimately effect me.

Peace and Love


< Message edited by dark~angel -- 5/24/2005 12:33:01 PM >


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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: STDs and HIV - 5/29/2005 11:07:01 AM   
fourpeas


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It is absolutely imperative that you AND your Dom get tested before you engage in sexual behavior. And as for unprotected sex, 6 months of monogamy is the medically accepted time frame.

This isn't about trust, it's about medical facts. No one wants to have their life taken away by HIV or other STD's just because your partner was too embarassed or shy, or WHATEVER to GO TO A DOCTOR. END OF STORY.

There is no cure for genital warts, herpes, HIV. Other STD's can be treated but can have complications.

I don't think this is a trust issue or a lifestyle issue, I think it is a person-to-person issue and I definitely would get tested with your partner. I would also encourage you that if he refuses to get tested to find someone who will get tested. I am looking forward to sharing my life with someone and I feel that being honest about sexual behavior, while difficult, fits with everything else. I feel like this lifestyle calls for a very, very, VERY high level of honesty and if someone can't be honest with you about getting tested, then what else is he not going to be honest with you about?

Sorry to be on a rant, but I have seen too many people get HIV and other STDs because "Oh my partner is clean, he says he's clean." I wish this weren't true, but unprotected sex without knowing and fully trusting and also, having medical proof, is very dangerous.

At the end of the day it's your life and your body, even as an owned slave... How can you serve your Master the best you want to serve Him if you
a) can't trust that he cares about your health and safety
b) if you contract an STD and are not in your best physical health...?

(in reply to darkinshadows)
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RE: STDs and HIV - 5/30/2005 12:17:48 PM   
LadyDestiny


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It doesn't matter if you are in the vanilla world or BSDM, safe sex practices are ALWAYS called for.

This is a discussion that should take place before the heat of the moment.

And look at it like this, "Am I willing to die for this moment or this person?"

It may be an extreme way to look at it, but it cuts to the chase. Any one who truely cares for you as a person (whether it be just sexual or more involved relationship) will NOT be offended by this discussion.

It is a fact of the times we all live in. I am usually the one to bring up the subject in the conversation (maybe my domme side, or the fact that I am a nurse). Contraception and Safe Sex practices are mandatory.

Any exchange of bodily fluids, whether sexual contact takes place or not must be met with discussion. Even to the equipment used.

My partners are informed and know. I offer to be tested and have done so. I inform them of my "check ups" and assure them I do this not only for myself but because I care about them and expect them to do the same for me.

I view it as part of respect of self and others and building of trust.

Don't let anyone talk you into doing something you are uncomfortable or have concerns with. And if they pull the old line of "you don't trust me" then come back with "if there really is no problem then why do you have a problem with this?" Kinda like if you loved me you would and on the other hand if you loved me you wouldn't ask me to do something I am not ready for.

You have to be concerned with your own health. Many people, especially men because so many STD's are asymptomatic (show no signs) in them, may believe they are "clean" but aren't.

If anyone you are involved with, or considering, can't discuss these things with you, willingly agree to be tested (and you as well) then your true welfare is NOT their concern and I would advise you to look elsewhere.

And don't buy into the crap of expense to be done, because free public health clinics are available everywhere in our nation. It may be a bit of a hassle to go there (time consuming and waiting) than their personal physician, but YOU should be worth it and for that matter so should they be worth it to you.

This is not about control. This is your life. These things can be prevented, precautions can be taken, and risks minimized. Stand your ground.

I hope this has been helpful.

Lady Destiny

(in reply to lady1)
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RE: STDs and HIV - 5/30/2005 12:36:12 PM   
roughleather


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel

Your concept is flawed.

These HIV tests must be carried out when you have been sexually inactive with anyone for at least 3 months - to be safer - the medical community observe 6 months is the safest time.



Actually, no. If you get the PCR tests for AIDS, the results are good immediately.

The porno industry in the San Fernando Valley runs everybody through testing each month. And it's not anonymous - workers who test positive have their names posted here. Not many people want to go through that, but it works.

And, of course, you should get the full immunization series for hepatitis A and B. Those vaccines work, although it takes a total of five shots. I've had them.

An HPV vaccine is coming, from Merck. It's in phase II clinical testing now.

So there are things you can do, even though most people don't do them.

Get tested like a porn star. $110.

(in reply to darkinshadows)
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RE: STDs and HIV - 5/30/2005 2:12:18 PM   
darkinshadows


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quote:

Actually, no. If you get the PCR tests for AIDS, the results are good immediately.

The porno industry in the San Fernando Valley runs everybody through testing each month. And it's not anonymous - workers who test positive have their names posted here. Not many people want to go through that, but it works.


I never said they weren't good at giving results (although - there have been mistakes if you read at the websites I posted - but those were kits from unreliable sources, as I was forewarning anyway) - I mentioned in response to the posters statement.

It takes around 3(to 6) months for the antis to show through the bloodwork. If you do not have sex at all for say 6 months, then take the test, then the test is likely to be reliable. But if you have had unprotected sex with anyone then a clear reading taken say - only one month after you have had the sex, then the result is more likely to turn up negative for antis because they haven't had the time to develop fully.

The poster I was responding to made it sound as though you could take the test and if it came out clear then its all ok to have unprotected sex - even if you only had sex two weeks ago with someone else. I was just stating medical facts.

As for the industry you related to - I don't know them personally - so can't reply - but I will look into it. Watch this space.


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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: STDs and HIV - 5/30/2005 11:54:20 PM   
Lepidoptera


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel

quote:

Actually, no. If you get the PCR tests for AIDS, the results are good immediately.

The porno industry in the San Fernando Valley runs everybody through testing each month. And it's not anonymous - workers who test positive have their names posted here. Not many people want to go through that, but it works.



It takes around 3(to 6) months for the antis to show through the bloodwork. If you do not have sex at all for say 6 months, then take the test, then the test is likely to be reliable. But if you have had unprotected sex with anyone then a clear reading taken say - only one month after you have had the sex, then the result is more likely to turn up negative for antis because they haven't had the time to develop fully.




Actually, according to Planned Parenthood, their test for antibodies should be effective after a month from the last time you had unprotected sex. That's what they told me when I had my bloodwork done, anyway. Granted, the test certainly becomes more reliable after that, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't get tested.

The reason the adult industry's policy works well is because people get tested every month, so if anything pops up it can be caught right away- and since everyone is working for the same people, if everyone is clean then everyone stays clean. The only problem is the possibility of people having unprotected sex outside the industry- unlikely, given that porn stars generally don't have much sex outside of work, and that when they do they're hyper aware about STD's.

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RE: STDs and HIV - 5/31/2005 12:20:44 AM   
FelinePersuasion


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Who says porn stars don't generally have sex out side of their work, have you asked any porn stars interviewed them directly?

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RE: STDs and HIV - 5/31/2005 6:07:29 AM   
darkinshadows


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Well, if you give me a resource to go investigate and ask them, then I will of course. But on another thread here I listed I think at least four well known agencies and their advice is at least 3 months. Of course 1 month is an option, but to be completely safe one should test at least three months after(even that, like a pregnancy test could be unreliable)
But whatever the result the best policy is ALWAYS safe sex with contraceptive cover.

Peace and Love


_____________________________


.dark.




...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: STDs and HIV - 6/7/2005 7:41:08 AM   
trooperlv


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My Master and I used condoms for several months before going without them. we only exchange body fluids with each other. With other play partners condoms are required. Yes you can get herpes from oral contact with infected people that is always a concern. There is a must to know your play partners. What concerns me is that recently we attended a swing/bdsm party and there were no condoms in sight. I always . ALWAYS carry them. I plan on living a long healthy life and will not be embarrassed to insist on them. I may be submissive but im hardcore when it comes to my health. And im lucky eneough to have a Master who feels the same.

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RE: STDs and HIV - 6/7/2005 11:28:44 AM   
onceburned


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lepidoptera
Actually, according to Planned Parenthood, their test for antibodies should be effective after a month from the last time you had unprotected sex. That's what they told me when I had my bloodwork done, anyway. Granted, the test certainly becomes more reliable after that, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't get tested.


The New York Times yesterday ran a story which said that cities and organizations often have to choose between the test that detects early versus the test that detects quick.

quote:

But rapid testing, like traditional blood tests, cannot detect the first phase of H.I.V. infection. Those tests do not look for the virus itself but rather for antibodies that the immune system makes to fight the infection. It takes time for the body to produce enough antibodies to be detectable.

Dr. Branson and other researchers say the newest, most sensitive tests, like those used by New York City, usually find antibodies within three to four weeks of infection, though some experts caution that an estimate of a month or more might be more realistic. But most government and private labs across the country still use older antibody tests that take longer to detect infection.
<snip>
A partial solution is to test for the RNA of the virus itself, which can be detected within 10 days of infection. Blood banks have done this for a decade.

The RNA test is expensive, so instead of a test on each blood sample, the samples are combined into pools of 10 to 100. Most pools test negative, meaning that all the samples in the pool are negative. If a pool tests positive, it is broken down into smaller groups and retested until the infected sample is found. Like conventional antibody testing, RNA testing takes several days.

(in reply to Lepidoptera)
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