RE: An observation from a newcomer... (Full Version)

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swtrayn -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 9:58:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Good. I am feeling the Troll luv now!



I am not feeling any Troll luv...

(lol.. sorry couldn't help myself... ok  I could, didn't want to)


rayn
(who has ventured out of her corner for to long)



FukinTroll -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 10:10:30 AM)

Slurp!



swtrayn -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 10:17:27 AM)

Thank you Troll  [sm=smile.gif]


( Ok back to your regulary scheduled thread.)



myobedience -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 10:28:59 AM)

[:@]



myobedience -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 10:31:47 AM)

[:@]



SusanofO -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 10:52:20 AM)

IMO some people are most indeed probably here because they are turned on by the idea of bdsm sex and having an otherwise maturely focussed D/d relationship, and have met many nice folk here. I agree it can be un-wise to jump to conclusions about anyone without knowing the full situation, but I will say - I have no doubt that there are indeed people who seek out this life-style because they somehow think it will make them immune from the problems that can sometimes plague "vanilla" relationships, or have "issues" from their earlier years they've failed to address.

This makes the bdsm world much like the "vanilla" world, except that there is IMO, a slightly more sinister cast to it, because claims from someone about being a "Mastet" can sometimes come from a person who possesses little control over themselves - and now they want to control someone else's life, too. 

The idea they would now be seeking to control someone else's life, when they can't "master" their own, is one I can find both amusing and scary. These are, btw, IMO, the folks who write rude e-mails when a submissive says she is not interested in someone, etc.

Somone truly in control of themselves just wouldn't get that worked up over a rejection from somoen they'd never even met. This proves  they are not only not a "Master", but immature, too boot. Hopefully, many recognize that (and I believe they do).

- Susan 



MagiksSlave -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 11:07:41 AM)

Master lets me talk to who ever I wish. However I put in my profile that Doms arent to contact me to play but that is only because I dont wish to play with others unless it is my Masters wish that I do. He has no worries about me wondering because he knows how I feel about him and he trusts me.  He didnt make me write my profile as i did it was completley my choice. Though I do have to have his permition if I want to play with others but I dont think that is to much to ask considering I am HIS property.

Magik's slave



curiouslyseeking -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 11:17:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


I think that there are lots of reasons why a dominant would not want other dominants emailing their submissive...
 
one of them is a respect issue. It is considered disrespectful in some people's eyes for unknown dominants to approach attached submissives.


I think it is very wise keep an open mind and not judge people's intentions.
 
julieoceania, stated this very well,  I have learned what I once thought was insecurity, or perhaps trust issues is actually an issue of respect.
 
I wish you success in however you decide to proceed with You and Yours.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 11:21:15 AM)

To the OP...possibly the Dominants in question simply do not wish their submissives to be busy answering useless unproductive e- mail, when they could be serving them!..However..for fairness sake..You are most likely correct that there may be a few such Dominants who have such insecurities..but I always find once again to speak in absolutes is futile..every couple has their own individual reason for what ever they do....as I am sure you do as well....Tempting



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 11:51:17 AM)

It depends.  If you got a skittish novice sub, it really can make sense to limit their exposure to certain types in the scene in the beginning at least.

I can actually respect a dom who admits that they are selfish and don't want to have to share on ANY level with another male.  It's a possessive thing and very rampant in the scene.  If someone can admit this and is aware of it, I'm cool with that.

However, yes, a lot of it is just insecurity crap that the sub lets themselves feel protected and desired and romantic type over when it's really the dom unable to handle being secure in a field where others might just catch the slaves eye.



PoeticMotion -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 11:55:53 AM)

Honestly, I wouldn't even consider restricting who my sub can talk to. I'm secure in myself. However, she doesn;t have an account on Collarme even though she and I have looked at this site together (she directed me to it) and I hadn't thought about her getting deluged with obnoxious e-mails.

If she was collared, I might consider it, but right now, we're both still novices. I'm 27, she's 20, we both have felt these desires our whole lives but this is the first D/s relationship for both of us and we're still feeling it out. So even though we're close and love each other, we're holding off on collaring until we've got this internal dynamic figured out a lot more. So for now, I wouldn't restrict her from talking to anyone she wants.



Celeste43 -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 12:23:08 PM)

He put this in place after watching me struggle with how to get some creep to stop emailing me. I hadn't responded but it didn't stop the creep. Seriously creepy emails too.

I was trying to compose a polite rejection letter when he said "Out of the chair", he took the computer and blasted the creep and then told me no more responding to strange 'doms'.

Now I can still write and answer people with questions or comments  about a forum post but that's different from getting come-ons from people saying that a slight problem I had was due to him not being a true dom and I should move to where he lived and serve him and his wife. This despite the no couples, not bi, and no relocation. Another winner in the emails that shouldn't have been written list.

Anyway, he knows I hate to be rude so he took the problem away from me. Problem solved.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 12:25:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43
Anyway, he knows I hate to be rude so he took the problem away from me. Problem solved.

I'm more the "teach them to fish/it's your job to make my life easier" type.  So I'd have forced you to deal with it yourself and become more confident in your abilities so I wouldn't have to deal with this or the many future instances that will occur.

Not saying your perspective is bad, and it's a good example of how limiting contact does NOT equate to insecurity- just that doms will have many different styles based on many different motivations.



grlneedstolearn -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 12:28:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WolfSpirit862

I haven't been at this site for too long, but it seems to me that alot of "masters" here must be very insecure. I see alot of subs that have blurbs along the lines of, 'I can play or talk to girls, but my master doesn't allow me to talk to men.' Such comments make me wonder... why is that? Is this "master" afraid that the sub will find someone better? Someone more capable? Stronger?  How can a person call themself a Master with so little confidence?

What does that tell us about the condition of the "master" in the first place? If he is so afraid that he will be replaced, then why doesn't he work to improve himself instead of hiding his sub away in fear they might find someone better? Why doesn't he build himself to be stronger? Why is it that he has no faith, no confidence? Neither in himself, nor the loyalty of his sub... I read these things and laugh. What nonsense.

Anyone at all may speak to my slave. She may converse to whomever she choose. I know who I am, and I know where her loyalty is.


i'm free to chat with any dominant but there are a few rules that must be followed, which in my mind is fair enough.



Lucius -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 5:40:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WolfSpirit862

I haven't been at this site for too long, but it seems to me that alot of "masters" here must be very insecure. I see alot of subs that have blurbs along the lines of, 'I can play or talk to girls, but my master doesn't allow me to talk to men.' Such comments make me wonder... why is that? Is this "master" afraid that the sub will find someone better? Someone more capable? Stronger?  How can a person call themself a Master with so little confidence?

What does that tell us about the condition of the "master" in the first place? If he is so afraid that he will be replaced, then why doesn't he work to improve himself instead of hiding his sub away in fear they might find someone better? Why doesn't he build himself to be stronger? Why is it that he has no faith, no confidence? Neither in himself, nor the loyalty of his sub... I read these things and laugh. What nonsense.


For the sake of the argument, asssume that your statement is correct - that the Dominants you are describing have "no faith, no confidence" and are "afraid that he will be replaced."

If so - it would follow that those in submission to such Dominants would not have profiles on sites such as this one.

Because your post was in response to submissive profiles you have read here, it follows that the Dominants you have characterized as pathetically insecure do, in fact, allow their submissives to post such profiles.

This is in contradiction to the logical consequence of your assumption.

Because the existence of the profiles themselves is a verifiable fact not in dispute, it must follow that your characterization of the Dominants involved is somehow flawed or in errror.

Lucius Alexander

House of the Palindromedary




Mercnbeth -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 5:59:49 PM)

quote:

I haven't been at this site for too long, but it seems to me that alot of "masters" here must be very insecure. I see alot of subs that have blurbs along the lines of, 'I can play or talk to girls, but my master doesn't allow me to talk to men.' Such comments make me wonder... why is that? Is this "master" afraid that the sub will find someone better? Someone more capable? Stronger?  How can a person call themself a Master with so little confidence?
Wolf Spirit
Most of your thoughts are fairly accurate. Number 1 - This is the internet. Only the weak minded can be hurt by the written word .

We have a couple profile. Why not, if you are a couple - have a couple profile? Our narrative is specific. beth is my slave. she has no desire to be a Domme for anyone. You would think this would limit the contact by submissive men seeking a female Dominant, but you have to consider - many don't get past the pictures to read, even if they have the ability. Of course there are also a few who thought beth would be happier with them. But so what? It rarely gets beyond one or two exchanges to end the nonsense.

The name calling? The unsolicited request to be allowed to move 1/2 way around the world to come "serve us - well sometimes they are the most fun to respond to. One wanted to live in our crawl space. I said sure, come on over to the US and start searching for our home once you land at LAX. We've had offers for butlers, maids, full service toilets, and a bunch that just wanted the opportunity to lick beth's boots. I think I disappoint those who ask for her panties when I reply that she doesn't wear any.

We've replied to each and ever contact. A polite request gets a polite reply even if it is just a simple "Thank you, but no thanks". Sometimes we point people in a direction where they may be more successful. If they are local we always invite them to our local munch where, if they choose to venture out from behind the computer screen, they meet people and often make friends.

An email sent to a profile is about as threatening as a cross to a vampire, and just about as real. If you believe one can be a threat to your relationship, how strong is the relationship in the first place?   



Sinergy -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 6:07:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Suk muh cok!
On u neez!
Send puzzy shotz!
I'll be in ur town tomorrow... I expect you to cum to my hotel.



Interesting that people think an inability to converse in English will make a submissive become all weak kneed.

I am a bit curious, WolfSpirit862, why you take your negative concerns about profiles you read and apply them to an entire population of people on this web site.  Have you found other web sites where people have profiles that meet your exacting standards? 

Feel free to go back there.

Sinergy



Xploremyworld -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 6:08:44 PM)

Short response...
I think SirKinkster put it most directly: You just may not understand the dynamics of (the D/s) relationship.
When two people are in a relationship, especially within this lifestyle, it is important that established protocols are followed. The fact is that many Doms have ulterior motives when contacting a sub who they know to be involved. These contacts may be of any type, but most of them have one common element--they are 'distracting' to the relationship.
There are many possible reasons for contact restrictions other than 'insecurity' on the part of the Dom. A primary one is protecting our 'stuff (a rose by any other name)...' Your assertion that it's insecurity doesn't ring true with me. With practical experience, you'll understand... 



FukinTroll -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 8:34:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Suk muh cok!
On u neez!
Send puzzy shotz!
I'll be in ur town tomorrow... I expect you to cum to my hotel.



Interesting that people think an inability to converse in English will make a submissive become all weak kneed.



Well we are appealing to there intellect. Nothing like deciphering a cryptic message to get the juices flowing.



Wildfleurs -> RE: An observation from a newcomer... (3/25/2007 8:52:21 PM)

I almost never get contacted by anyone so its really not an issue for us.  Even if I were contacted a lot I'd handle it myself, the last thing I want to do is make my owners online time which is really what he uses to unwind cluttered with needless requests to talk to me.  He trusts me to handle myself appropriately online and I see no reason to clutter his time with chat requests.

C~



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