AquarianMale53
Posts: 117
Joined: 4/23/2004
Status: offline
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I have always likened being a switch to being in the military and starting out as a private. You listen to what others have to say, you learn, you grow and in time you move up and begin to be the one that teaches and shows others. No private starts out in charge and they go through a long period of training before they have progressed far enough to be in that position to train others (and become the Top so to speak).
Having said that, they are those that have no wish to be in charge, but, because of the military regulations either have to move up or out. It is forced upon them to become leaders and many do not deal with it well. So they try to muddle along and just deal with things as they come.
Then there are those that have waited for the day to be in charge and feel it is their lifes destiny to do great things with their power. They usually overstep their authority and screw something up in a big way during their rush to the Top. They seem to forget that they need to learn to"lead" people, not "force" them to do their bidding.
While I took a short time to move from bottom to Top, I learned along the way that you need to have a balance and everything is not always black and white. You have to deal with people individually and not lump them all into a narrowly defined category/label.
Personally, while I am Domminant, I choose to list myself as a switch since there are times I like to give up the control/power and not have to make all the decisions. When I am with a partner that has taken the time to get to know me on an individual basis, they appreciate that and don't think I am any less a person for being that way. It is only those that don't take the time to know others that make judgements they think make themselves look better in others eyes (such as switches just can't make up their minds or how could a switch possibly be Domminant). It is because they have no clue they make these determinations. They have not taken time to know others "individually".
It happens within our society all the time. "They can't possibly be what I am looking for they are 10-20 years older than I am." It does happen. People do take the time to get to know others individually before they make snap judgements and they are some of the better relationships I have seen. Personally I am involved with a female switch that is 38. Due to circumstances we can live together but do see each other when we can. My first sub in Europe is now 36. I have been with ladies older than myself also. Age is a number and I prefer to know the person instead of the number. Just as I prefer to know the person instead of the label.
Just my two cents on the subject. GET TO KNOW THE PERSON AS AN INDIVIDUAL!!!!!
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