RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (Full Version)

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sanita -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (4/13/2005 5:14:51 PM)

this is just good timing. *l* last week, i received this email in collarme:

"My master thinks you need a proper Dom to whip you into shape. I need a playmate. He will accept you and make you his."

the profile that came with that email was pending at the time, so that was all the information i had. and any benevolence intended made me feel a bit slimed. what am i supposed to say? "oh! thank Y/you!"?

i was a bit peeved. but i figure if the Dom that thinks i need to be whipped into shape (ok, i know i'm fat, but dang! that's rude.) had His sub email me... well, *l* i sent it to my Master. i'll let Him respond.

as for this thread: i feel weird when another sub approches me on his or her Dom's behalf, but it is interesting to see the other perspectives.

i know that if a third party is to come into the picture with myself and my Master, i would rather it be someone we both agreed on. a mutual search would probably be better in our case.



Sinergy -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (4/13/2005 5:52:22 PM)


Ya know,

Perhaps two people have it as a kink where person B troll around finding Person C, D, E, F... for person A to bang.

If it works for all of them, I say go for it.

Doesnt work for me. I dont share my toy.

Just my opinion, but there ya go.

Sinergy

p.s. On the other hand, I dont play casually with other toys, and definitely not when I
am in a committed relationship.



katyanna -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (4/14/2005 11:14:26 PM)


i think it is commendable that people are honest in what they are seeking.. who can fault them that?

And as for me, the more i learn the less i know. [:D] At 19 i was bullet proof... next year for my birthday i would like a name tag please, printed upside down so i can read it myself. [;)]



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (4/15/2005 5:51:16 AM)

Yeah I never quite understood that dynamic...

Younger people are supposed to be know-it-alls but really are clueless.

Older people are supposed to have experience and understanding (which the younger people lack and thus are clueless) but really are just wise enough at that point to know they are clueless.

SOMEONE at SOME POINT has to know something and have some sort of wisdom and something worth knowing, eh?

All that humbling stuff is great, but I think the reality is that people can be self-aware and wise at just about any age. And I think the reality is that a majority of people aren't self-aware and wise at any age.



darkinshadows -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (4/15/2005 8:51:49 AM)

I have said it time and again... age is irrelvant.

Humble talk aside, I cannot say for certain whether the majority or the minority are self aware.

I know some really sage 19 year olds, and some equally naive 50 year olds.

Your age doesn't matter. The person making it matter is you.

IMO, the person who believes, no matter what their age, be it 19 or 99 that they have something to learn always, is the wisest of all.



brightspot -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (4/15/2005 1:36:46 PM)

I get a lot of mail from such mentioned female subs.
I do get irritated because the first contact will be an e-mail
with her stating an interest and if I respond to her, the second
e-mail is about how wonderful her Dom is, but lets her play
with other female subs, but would like me to eventually join their
"Family".

In my profile I state clearly that I am a Lesbian, Seeking a
Domina for a LTR.

They also show up a lot on my admirers list...at first I really
didn't get why other subs were contacting me, like you said
outside of friendship...
Now I know...Most are there as a go between.
Sometimes I even wonder if these women are even Bi-sexual or
just looking and doing what their Dom tells them to do...and like
SweetDommes said a HNG looking to wack off?

Anyway...It would be nice if people were to read others profiles
and respect the content of what the person is looking for...

I know...I know...A Huge thing to Expect[8|]!

*Brightspot



slavedesires -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (4/16/2005 12:34:23 AM)

removed......

the OP is ....wellll

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[:@]



slaveanwyl -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (4/16/2005 6:40:26 AM)

Master future

as i think you may be talking about my profile i would like to answer your questions Sir

first Master is anything but lazy he is an excellent Master and i have had Masters before so i am not just saying that.

it was my idea that my sister slave who has left U/us but has not gone from U/us should be replaced in the house.
how was upto Master but as he knew how close i was and still am to slave bex my sister who has gone off to explore other avenues of the lifestyle he knew that to just bring in another girl would not be appropriate he is quite capable of that without my help Sir..
infact he talks to a lot of subs Sir..

Master does not do online he does real time only Sir

and as for someones suggestions that it is the same person wow i would have a job i am 5'4 and all slave and am not capable of Domming i know i tried it once at a fetish club and hated every second of it and then again under Msaters control on my sister and i could not do it Sir and Master well i cant imagine Master being sub ..

and to answer the main point Sir

my imput is required by Master and i dont care if none talk to me or if Others think its wrong to me my Master asking me to help him was a nice thing for him to do
and what my Master wants is what my Master gets from his slave , i do not know your own preferences Sir but i would not dream of saying you are wrong for having them
My Master cares deeply for me and all that effects me

be well Sir but be wise

with respect
LG slave anwyl.



slaveanwyl -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (4/16/2005 6:54:54 AM)

Padriag Sir

thankyou your post said a lot i was akin to and i would like to say thankyou Sir.

all you said is relevant to U/us i came in as Masters 2nd slave and now slave bex his first girl has gone off to do other things with Masters blessings and i miss her Sir so much..

i chat to many girls Sir but most i chat to are already in a poly family and are happy Sir but they understand my needs and yes Sir i need to like the new girl , and get on with any new girl and she needs to understand how she will fit into O/our family i am talking to one person now and they ask me strange questions but i get the impression she does not like me and would rather talk direct to Master i dont mind but i really want a girl who has begged Master to accept her or a girl i know i aready like a lot but then i am slave and dont get the final say

with respect
LG slave anwyl



mstrj69 -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/7/2005 3:15:22 PM)

While I think it would be only correct to let the slave or submissive have some say in the process, I have seen submissives with profiles that say they are collarred and all emails will go through their Dominant. Why the Dominant does not do the same thing when looking for another slave or submissive, ie put up a profile saying what He/She is looking for and then simply say all prospects should address their initial response to the already existant sub or slave. As the profile would be in the Dominant section, they might have a better number of responses. If they do not want to do that then they should just seek out the sub or slave themselves and let the existing sub or slave read any responses.



allyC -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/7/2005 4:01:51 PM)

I believe that each situation will be different depending on the relationship of the people involved.

It is my opinion that in order for a long-term poly situation to succeed (I am not speaking of temporary play partners or casual sex), everyone involved must be compatable at the deepest levels. They need to have more than the D and the s in common.

When my owner and I began our search for a 2nd slave for his household, we did so together. We placed both individual and "couple" ads but most importantly, we set up a webpage that specified not only what we both preferred but what we both had to offer. So often ads say "I want I want I want" but very little talk about what they bring to the table.

For several reasons, my owner directed that if anyone was interested, they were to contact me first. He felt that since I worked at home and he was gone most of the day, that I would be the easiest to contact. he also trusted my intuition when it came to spotting red flags right out of the gate.

I have seen many poly relationships fail when the dominant party seeks a 2nd slave, finds one, and then throws her in to the mix without even knowing if the two slaves will get long. I've even seen (when the slaves did not get along at all) the dominant party say "If you have problems, settle it amongst yourselves as I don't want to be bothered with it."

I have also witnessed the flipside of this where the submissive parties are more interested in each other than they are in serving the owner.

I think that if I were single and were contacted by just the owner or just the slave, I wouldn't feel very comfortable until I had spoken to them both together, getting a feel for where they were both coming from but I wouldn't be too hung up on who placed the ad or who contacted me first.

For me, as long as everyone is on the same page, I don't see what difference it makes in who places the ad. :)

Yet another 2 pesos...

Cav's girl
ally{C}

P.S. In case someone views my profile and thinks "hey, she's not seeking - what is she talking about?" - we have taken a break from the search. We're just kickin' back at the moment :)





Paulnz -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/7/2005 6:45:21 PM)

I call the process one of using a Judas Goat.



Kinkypupper -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/10/2005 8:51:29 PM)

I have a feeling that most of this type of "ad" is purely false advertising.
That the person "looking" for a 2nd for "their" Master is in fact the same person.

That once you are actually meeting them a time or two, You will find that the "first" sub was just "released".



perverseangelic -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/10/2005 9:08:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper

I have a feeling that most of this type of "ad" is purely false advertising.
That the person "looking" for a 2nd for "their" Master is in fact the same person.

That once you are actually meeting them a time or two, You will find that the "first" sub was just "released".




I guess I'm idealistic, but this isn't the experience I've had. Everyone I've spoken to in this situation has been exactly who they say they are.

Still, I know it happens.



DsrtMyst -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/11/2005 10:03:52 AM)

In my case it is simple: my slave is not a submissive. As a dominant slave, it is his role, not simply task, to connect with submissive women and transmen. The slave I seek to complete my triad would be owned by me, but s/he would also serve and submit to slaveDaddy. slaveDaddy will remain my alpha slave and any other slave or bottom attached to my household will, at times, be under his direct supervision or submit to him in SM or sexual activities. Any slave considering joining us needs to have extensive contact with him.

I have had women read my profile and his and then message me saying they refuse to submit to him but want to seek a relationship with just me. I have him conduct part of our search because it is not an option for them to submit to me alone.



Kiaban -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/11/2005 11:00:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper

I have a feeling that most of this type of "ad" is purely false advertising.
That the person "looking" for a 2nd for "their" Master is in fact the same person.

That once you are actually meeting them a time or two, You will find that the "first" sub was just "released".



or not



infyniti -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/13/2005 4:46:42 AM)

I read this thread and found that there is abit of a debate on the entire topic. I guess what amazes me is that the debate even exists. First of all, Master and i met such a couple where the Dom had his submissive searching for others for " them." To make this short. What happened in the end is that she did such a good job, that he picked the person she FOUND! He left her. Talk about being dumped? I don't even know if i blame her or him at this point.
Does being submissive meaning leaving all self respect behind? Apparently for some it does. Are some SO desperate that they will do anything so that this person will have them? This is how it seems to appear.
All relationships need boundaries. I am not stating that if a couple practices D/s that it means monogamy is the only alternative for this couple. Though this is a choice i have made and therefore searched for a person who also shared the same values. I didn't want to waste my time " being collared" by someone who did not share the same values that i have. There are so many people that i want to look at and say, " Hey, get some self respect." For the Dom/Master, i want to say " You have to be one desperate guy if you need to find a sub in order to get another sub/slave." Wow... talk about one lazy dude!!!
Post your own ad if that is what you are searching for.
My ideas seem quite hard lined. I understand that. But i have seen too many people's feelings get hurt, and submissives then say they have had " bad experiences" with Dom's... etc.
We are all adult here. This is not High School dating, we are not children but at times i see so many " Do what ever Master wants" Where is the " Safe, SANE and Consentual" in that?
It isn't.
When checking into the BDSM world, does NOT mean leaving all common sense at the door.
Relationships are relationships be they nilla or kink. If one wants a relationship, Don't invite others into it, you just may be sorry of the out come.



darkinshadows -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/13/2005 5:04:36 AM)

quote:

I don't even know if i blame her or him at this point.


It isn't up to you to blame anyone. She made her choice - so did he. OK so He may have fucked her over - doesn't mean that happens for everyone - doesn't mean all dominants are like that.

quote:

Do what ever Master wants" Where is the " Safe, SANE and Consentual" in that?


Again - not your decision - its up to individuals. Personally, I don't subscribe to ssc... its just something for people to try and make wiitwd 'acceptable' IMO. Whats safe (in the literal sense)about 'fireplay'... or 'knife play' or 'breathplay'? However, I am risk aware. We have responsibilities to ourselves, even if we are owned. If a Dom wants his sub/slave to find another and the sub/slave is ok with that - good on them. If shes not, then thats what communication is about. I agree... if you want something specific, then don't just get collared to anyone - you are now with someone who shares your values - but what happens if those values alter? Life continuously evoles...
But I disagree in the thought that people should just settle for living in a relationship that excludes others, just because its seen as 'safe, sane and consensual', through someone elses eyes who isn't involved in that relationship.

Personal responsibility and be informed.



allyC -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/13/2005 5:26:38 AM)

quote:

We are all adult here. This is not High School dating, we are not children but at times i see so many " Do what ever Master wants" Where is the " Safe, SANE and Consentual" in that?
It isn't.
When checking into the BDSM world, does NOT mean leaving all common sense at the door.
Relationships are relationships be they nilla or kink. If one wants a relationship, Don't invite others into it, you just may be sorry of the out come.


Hi there, infyniti :)

I think it depends on the relationship. In an absolute TPE type of relationship, the "consensual" part happened when the slave surrendered. After that, the choices are the owner's. It may be non-negotiable at that point. If the slave doesn't like it, the slave can always leave.

A sub/slave who searches (or helps her owner search) for another sub/slave hasn't necessarily left common sense at the door. Perhaps he/she trusts their owner implicitly and is absolutely obedient. Perhaps he or she desires a poly situation as well. Perhaps the slave wants it just as much as the owner.

There are as many reasons and practices as there are people involved. I've always believed that there really is no "one size fits all" in the lifestyle and each path is going to be different.

I have, for over three years, been searching for a 2nd slave for my owner. He has been looking too but all correspondence goes through me first. I'm his "secretary" so to speak. :)

I didn't sign on to obey when it felt good or when it was convenient for me. I signed on to do my very best to obey and please this man until the day I die. M/s has never been a hobby or a pastime or a roleplaying scenario to me. I begged him to own me with the full knowledge of what it meant. It meant (and still means) that I really DO do whatever he wants or I will face the consequences.

When our relationship began, he made it very clear that he was not interested in poly. I was not interested in poly. Well... over time people sometimes realize things about themselves that they didn't know and such was the case for him.

That meant that I had to take a long, hard look at myself and my reasons for being his slave and make some decisions. While it may be different for other people, in my own personal situation I believe that it is my responsibility as his slave to reshape myself to his needs and so that is what I did my best to do. With his consistant communication and steady reassurance, I moved forward and now I want to find her almost as much as he does (sometimes I think maybe more.) I haven't lost my common sense and he isn't a lazy man - in our case it is a matter of fulfillment for both of us. :)

There may be some desperate subs/slaves out there who would do anything to "hang onto" their owners but I think that is the exception - not the rule. If the relationship is really what the package says it is, then the motivation is most likely something much more profound - that motivation is the slave's desire to serve, to obey, and to please their owner because for the slave, this brings the most profound fulfillment - even when it is difficult. In my case it is all of those things and more - I love him with a passion and intensity that I never knew existed and his will is paramount to me.

:)

Well wishes to you, infyniti!

Cav's girl
ally




Kiaban -> RE: What are your thought on Masters/DOMs who use their slaves to search for others to serve them? (5/13/2005 8:01:43 AM)

I think its just terrible that Masters do that, so stop it immediatly!!! and tell your subs to stop as well!
that way only my girl will be contacting them
[:D]



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