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The breakdown of communication resulted in the breakdow... - 3/29/2007 5:14:00 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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The breakdown of communication resulted in the breakdown of the relationship.

Sad thing too..it happens all the time.

She should not be beaten for this breakdown unless she agrees to it as a result of her intentional doings.

Interesting situation. I had a friend a few years ago that once that was involved with a woman that he collard as his submissive with intentions of training her as his slave.

Seems they talked all the time via phone and when in person and it was great. Yet when he communicated via internet either thru chat or messages the dynamics they had in real time real person were reduced to a point of miscommunication.

The miscommunication became so frequent via internet that she would balk and and try to regain control by resistance and backing off where she told him she needed space to think.

He doing his dom thing tried to firmly restablish his dominance via tasks and writings to inspire her.

Normally when a sub signed a contract and she stryed from being obedient he would hold her accountable and if she failed to comply with his wishes he would dismiss her. He was very straight forward in his initial presentation both via his profile and his manner of discussion.

Well a strange thing happened this one time as he fell in love with her, go figure. I still remind him of this to the day that I warned him. He found his emotions clouded with his love for her. He would give her the benifit of the doubt figuring she would initially respond better but when he tried to hold her responsible she would say things like work and her home situation needed her attention more and that he was too demanding.

He would back off from the situation for a few days like she did and try to let the muddy puddle that was stirred up settle and clear up. Well it seems there was an abandonment issue from a previous relationship that had emotionally scarred her. Unaware of this he was now her former by proxy with all the hurt and anger an in essance she was reliving the terrible emotional past again with him.

She would email and call him asking where he was and why wasn't he talking to her. She would try and hold him accountable for his time and why he did not be there for her right there right then.

He found that when he had previously asked her why she did not respond to his emails she would she would say he was unrealistically demanding things from her she had no possible time to accomplish. He in return would ask her why she had time for her favori9te groups and responding to others via other email accounts. She accused him of cyber stalking and he of niot being submissive but just wanting kinky sex without the duties she agreed to.

This would go on for months at a time. Basicly two people in love with each other caught up in the dynamics of a dom /sub , professed master/slave relationship. They could live with each other yet they could not live without each other.

While I at one time had him convinced to walk away and cut his losses she had a reoccuring illness that took hold of her. He backed down as he felt her metal awareness and well being were being compromised by her health. He tried to make allowances and adjustments to his needs. He was deeply in love with her and did not want to lose her finally deciding to abandon his hunger for b&d & d/s and strive for a vanillia relationship with the other on the back bunner for possible resurection.

In time it got worse and it took its toll. She stopped talking to him all together..he became some what of a recluse trying to figure out what went wrong.

I consoled him for three weeks straight when she died. He cried every night. He misses her to this day. I reassured him he was not a fool for failling in love with his submissive but just that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that Wre can not control what happens to us but we can control how we react.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

< Message edited by SirDiscipliner69 -- 3/29/2007 5:15:16 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 5:21:51 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
Yes the dominant should cherrish and nurture his submissive regardless if he truely owns her or hass a contract. Contracts are only as valid as the involved believe they are and to the enforcement of it.
 
Question then: Has anyone had a submissive that decided to change the agreement verbally or in actions after a contract was signed and agreed upon?

Ever had the inability to effectively enforce actions with a retreating submissive?

I personally would not tolerate symantical interpretation of such as that is left to the lawyers and this intent of the contract was known to both.

Too many nice games to play rather than word games and mindfuckery.

Yes the responsibility of communication and intention lays with both parties. It is a ying / yang relationship that should evolve and grow.
I liked what you said regarding your perception of the relationship.

There is no true type of being in a relationship. It depends and works within the interaction and needs of the couple. The dynamics might be more intensified but it is still based on the cornerstone...the keystones of trust, communication, honesty, sanity..safe sane and consensual

Just as basic vanillia ones .

Last time I looked all involved were human.

The abusive ones are just the malcontent playground bullies that moved inside...learned how to use a flogger and type.
 
Intelligence. That is what is all about isn't it?

It is a thinking person's relationship.

The ability to formulate thoughts and philosophies into practice and deeds.

I make mistakes. We all make the mistakes that effect others. It is our ability as rational thinking spirits to be able to make ammends thru communication and intentions.

Perception is different for everyone.

Ever do something you though was great that would be looked at as a boquet of roses only to have the recipient percieve it as a pile of mule dung?

I all too many times show My kinks in My armour as I do not beieve in stupid dom tricks via the wizard of oz syndromn: Pay NO attention to the man behind the curtin...for I am the great and WONDERFUL OZ!!!!

I guess I have been guilty of this..just didn't realize it.

One of My problems is My perception..I can read an email late at night after a long stressful day with demanding clients and react by blowing it off and reacting off the cuff instead of taking time to percieve the true intent of the sender...then n the morning I re-read it and go gawd...did I blow it on that one...stress and lack of sleep will do Me in as far as judgement calls...that is also why I do not play when I am overtired or angry..

I believe My awareness and ability does raise Me a notch over your typical everyday over the counter one size fits all asshole tho as I do make attempts to make ammends and have the strength to admit when I am wrong...

Then again everything I know could be wrong.

Ever read Illusions by Richard Bach?

He should have written a sequel called Perceptions

Imagine that..a dom that makes mistakes..admits to them..and is humbled in the process

What is the world coming to?

I will not nowingly nor intentionally harm emotionally or mentally.

I always want to be a positive effect and influence..

Physically however.... within consenting limits

I nce had a sub that never met Me nor talked to Me tell another sub that I was dangerous and should not be trusted.

She did meet Me and found Me to be quite differnet from the perception of the other.

Granted I am a twisted fuck but given visiting a sub's home I will sit on the toilet rather than to spray her bathroom..call it warped respect

...yet a half hour later I have no problem urinating in her mouth if that is within her limits...

Now that's warped..

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 5:30:10 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
 So what does it feel like to have your subbie used and fucked and gang banged by others and would it make Me feel any less of her and should I let her do it?

If I loved and/or cared for her I would. Yes.

I would want her to communicate her needs and desires to Me.

I would want her to include Me in thoses needs.

I would want her to grow as I would not want her to stiffle or repress her needs.

I would feel honored that she included Me

My ego is not so great (it is big but realistic) that I would think I can satisfy all her needs. I would not play the wizard of oz...pay no attention to the man behind the curtin as I am the great and wonderful...

I would not want to stiffle her but allow her to grow and evolve.

To watch would bring the vouyer out in Me. To particpate would bring the animal out in Me. To share with her would bring the partner out in Me.

I would watch out for her safety and in place a safeword such as "pizza" for her to use. Something so removed from the ordinary power play of lust and such that it would be noticed immediately. I would occasionaly check on her well being both mentally and physically by asking her what her safeword was.

That is My responsibility first as a Dominant and and My caring as a lover/partner.

The impact after she enjoyed herself. A feeling of Togetherness as We would cuddle and talk about it all later in aftercare. After care is essential to anything that might be tramtic or intense and should be a regular thing alweays in My humble opinion.

Yes I would let her travel her path. I must realize there are somethings I can not control. Harnessing her spirit not crushing it is what I would impart.

Yes My tendency would be to be selfish and keep her to Myself but if she communicated her needs and desires I would grant her them. I would do all in My power to make sure she got what she needed.

Discusssion is good. Communication needs to be kept open.

Yes it is ok to feel uneasy and insecure. That is human nature. I don't know about anyone else but I experience all the time...guess it keeps Me in check...being human that is.

I hope I never grow so incapable of feeling matter-of-factly that I lose touch with My inner self.

To let go show strength..to exchange the power is within your strength to evolve.

I wish you happiness and remember to always keep communication. It is a sad day when the communication stops and you are left reflecting the last.

So you have read this far and I have a question for you:
What if you were unfortunate enough to have been in an accident and maimed or under medication to the point where it could / would affect your sexual perfunction (performance + function)?

At what point would a possession (the woman you loved and dominated) that is unobtainable by others stiffle and die?

At what point would would love come into consideration?

Would not sharing something she needed be more important than a dominant's needs?

Would you not want her to evolve with you...or even without you?

Please allow Me to listen to your insight as it is something I am lacking in this regard.

So maybe you might find it interesting and you approached it as a trainer.

I have been a handler also.

Would you find it commendable that you were honest enough to give them a list and communicate your intentions and desires.

Was it only they that wanted a loving relationship?What if you expressed yourself to them?.

Could you give Me some insight to how you feel when they said that? Trapped? Restricted?

Would your need at the time to devolop and evolve into all you could explore and enjoy?

Did you feel that is was a power play to make you be monogomous only to him?

If you could change anything now in retrospect would you?

Yes the dominant should cherrish and nurture his submissive regardless if he truely owns her or hass a contract. Contracts are only as valid as the involved believe they are and to the enforcement of it.
 
Question then: Has anyone had a submissive that decided to change the agreement verbally or in actions after a contract was signed and agreed upon?

Ever had the inability to effectively enforce actions with a retreating submissive?

I personally would not tolerate symantical interpretation of such as that is left to the lawyers and this intent of the contract was known to both.

Too many nice games to play rather than word games and mindfuckery.

Yes the responsibility of communication and intention lays with both parties. It is a ying / yang relationship that should evolve and grow.
I liked what you said regarding your perception of the relationship.

There is no true type of being in a relationship. It depends and works within the interaction and needs of the couple. The dynamics might be more intensified but it is still based on the cornerstone...the keystones of trust, communication, honesty, sanity..safe sane and consensual

Just as basic vanillia ones .

Last time I looked all involved were human.

The abusive ones are just the malcontent playground bullies that moved inside...learned how to use a flogger and type.
 
Intelligence. That is what is all about isn't it?

It is a thinking person's relationship.

The ability to formulate thoughts and philosophies into practice and deeds.

I make mistakes. We all make the mistakes that effect others. It is our ability as rational thinking spirits to be able to make ammends thru communication and intentions.

Perception is different for everyone.

Ever do something you though was great that would be looked at as a boquet of roses only to have the recipient percieve it as a pile of mule dung?

I all too many times show My kinks in My armour as I do not beieve in stupid dom tricks via the wizard of oz syndromn: Pay NO attention to the man behind the curtin...for I am the great and WONDERFUL OZ!!!!

I guess I have been guilty of this..just didn't realize it.

One of My problems is My perception..I can read an email late at night after a long stressful day with demanding clients and react by blowing it off and reacting off the cuff instead of taking time to percieve the true intent of the sender...then n the morning I re-read it and go gawd...did I blow it on that one...stress and lack of sleep will do Me in as far as judgement calls...that is also why I do not play when I am overtired or angry..

I believe My awareness and ability does raise Me a notch over your typical everyday over the counter one size fits all asshole tho as I do make attempts to make ammends and have the strength to admit when I am wrong...

Then again everything I know could be wrong.

Ever read Illusions by Richard Bach?

He should have written a sequel called Perceptions

Imagine that..a dom that makes mistakes..admits to them..and is humbled in the process

What is the world coming to?

I will not nowingly nor intentionally harm emotionally or mentally.

I always want to be a positive effect and influence..

Physically however.... within consenting limits

I nce had a sub that never met Me nor talked to Me tell another sub that I was dangerous and should not be trusted.

She did meet Me and found Me to be quite differnet from the perception of the other.

Granted I am a twisted fuck but given visiting a sub's home I will sit on the toilet rather than to spray her bathroom..call it warped respect

...yet a half hour later I have no problem urinating in her mouth if that is within her limits...

Now that's warped..

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 5:34:35 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
So now...you read this far you sick puppy...see what happens when I write with a laptop at lunch...

Reverse the tables

What if your partner wanted to share another man/woman?

What if it was his/her desire?

How would you feel?

How does the exclusive right for him/her to but not you make you feel?

So what would in your opinion or anyone else would it take to have his/her go behind your back?

What besides lack of communication would result in this?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 5:42:41 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
So just how do you handle / deal with a submissive that has abandonment issues because of an abusive past?
 

I have encountered this before a few times but still it bothers Me on My inability to pull them from the past and build a solid foundation.

Trying to be there and communication via emails seems not to be the way to go as there is so much perception involved.

Unlike via phone or in person there is no voice inflection..tone..pregnant pause..emotion...

How would one move in a positive manner?

So do you offfer some helpful advice like "I think you are also bi-polar"?

Yes I have tried that.

I also mentioned the bi-polar.

Thought that constant reassurance would help but it seemed to be an out of sight out of mind experience.

Life is for learning.

The older I get the more I find out how little I really know

Yes I believe it should always be the positvie approach in mind.

Trying not to be emotional but rational and no co-ablening her would have been possibly the proper approach

Sometimes bad things happen to good people

SOmetimes trying to remove the b&d snd D/s from the relationship seemed to temporarily work

Maybe I was just overly optomistic in My approach and there is no long term solution but merely daily bandaids

It still does not help the profuse bleeding (sigh)

Sometimes accountability to what a submissive has agreed to poses a problem

I find there are many out of sight out of mind submissives and I am sure it applies to doms also

When it is time to account for loss of promised tasks then a statement was made by submissive that needed to regroup and take time alone.

Such given time would then result in the statement of abandonment.

Such a vicious cycle needs to be dealt with but sometimes My faulty comassion and My attempts to empathise as a caring person would interfere with Dom training submissive.

Mixed emotions of more than just liking submissive also compounded issues.

In retrospect such issues were obviously beyond My mere ability to grasp and deal with properly without being sucked into the vortex Myself and being consumed.

It seems to Me like watching an alcoholic drink and think you can help them when they do not want to help themselves.

I am musing right now if it might just be an example of bad attention, while attention, is better than no attention at all.

Wish I had the insight.

Then again all things must pass.

I have never had an issue as severe as that but who knows what the future lies ahead.

I have in the past tried to focus on the big picture with such reminderes and tasks

When reminded of those intentions regarding assignments such as journal, daily emails, answers to My questions, tasks ect the accountability factor comes into play.

Not enough time is a usual response yet they have time for everything else under the sun.

I figure it is like brushing your teeth. You do it daily, you make time for it, it takes 10 minutes. Period. Done. End of story. It is what it is.

Yes I have been accused of being demanding, strict, cruel, harsh ect when they were called on it. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out when patterns change in writing habits, calling frequency, online activity ect.

Perhaps it is the dectective nature in Me. I have been told I can see thru the facade...the walls they put up...and it has been told it is unnerving for them. Call it a blessing...sometimes a curse.

The good thing is I am a Scorpio and I basicly regenerate, reafirm My beliefs, examine My core values and practice them once agian in new spirit. I admire Maddonna for the simple fact is she never stagnated but the woman re-invented herself as she evolved.

Qui bene amat bene castigat

I agree and have done this in practice with a few.

I feel it is sort of like ADAH

You need to set perameters. A set schedule, a daily routine.

Someting they need to grasp and become accoustom to.

While sucessful in short term I have ben unsucessful in long term goals.

I am not just talking one particulair relationship or sub. I have ben fortunate over My twenty years to have had around 50 submissive women in varing degrees of submission. Some tell Me I am lucky. Others feel I might be flexing My ego.

I like to think of the former.

I met a group locally here a while back and the truth or dare was the topic of the moment.

The question was posed to Me then just how many submissives I had in the past.

Had I known I could have supplied them with a list of references.

Still I strive to be a better Dominant as I evolve.

This is a thinking person's relationship.

Anyone can get a submissive to have kinky sex, someone to suck and fuck and whip. It is the mindset, the final frontier that I enjoy and get twisted up in.

I think all the time. With a little practice I will get good at it

Sometimes I wonder if the majority just need the kinky sex and not the accountability, responsibility of a submissive.

I do know that the responsibility of a Dominant is tremendous.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
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RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 5:55:19 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
So a  request for cutting from her


To which I replied it would be of a Scorpio design I have done

As it should reflect what I am

Done o so nicely

under the left breast

right over the heart

the sadistic artist takes drawing to an enjoyable personal level

the scorpio cutting displays well on her breast don't you think?

Initially she was disapointed as she thought it would be a unique experience

but I told her the art is unique as she was...

and it was...and she was...

I have been ACCUSED of never repeating the same scene twice. Must be one of My character flaws

You mean, like Barney Fife tying up Helen Crump in the jail cell or something and saying "you...you...you...bi...bi...bitch - Andy's gone to the sheriff's convention and you're mine now, slut!"

Now that was one painful episode.


I liked the following week where Floyd was invited and they showed her just what that barber chair was really used for...and then there was the scene with the razor strop....mmmm

EWWWWWW Barnnney...I gonnna..na...use my raaaaazor strop of her now....mmmm

Milquetoast Dom?  No that is not for Me...

I love the smell of debate in the morning!

What do you want to do debate or surf?!

Reminds me I have to check out one of those motion pools that allow you to surf because I do not think I will get to Hawaii this season..that is next year!

Surf's up!!

So anyway...she is your hand puppet..


What verbage do you use you use during the art of fisting to make it more memorably hotter than it will be?

Ever notice the hotter the verbage the slicker the hand puppet act?

Ever do a Punch and Judy show?

Handballing...Another term for FISTING

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read

Communication failing? What do you do?


What methods do you take to find the common ground?

How do you objectively observe your methods?

Do you have a method or ritual that works that you care to share?

At wat point do you notice communication breakdown?

What have you done when all you try fails?

My interpretation is punishment is something a submissive does not want to get. It is not pleasant nor is it done for any end result pleasure.

It is atonement for wrongdoing..just like a speeding ticket is given for exceeding speed limit and jail time is done for evading pursuit.

The punishment and the severity fits the deed.


Discipline however is an on going process of the evolving relationship.

I do not need an excuse to discipline.

It envolves betterment process for performance, endurance, stamina, short..mid and long term goals and skills such as to include ritual serving, edicate and protocal...a bit of the old school in Me shows here.

Attempted topping from the bottom is not needed or tolerated as if spanking is enjoyed by a submissive then it is actually a reward.

Good behaviour will result in rewards not manipulative prats to get what she may want.

It works for Me ...be it old school or not...others may have something that they percieve to be effective.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©


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RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:00:42 PM   
LadyIce


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Joined: 7/4/2006
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My hat is off the first person to read all this and answer the question.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:03:52 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
Being old school the focus on any session, encounter or scene for Me does not have sex as the end result in mind.

Granted I enjoy the physical very much but for Me the mindset is the primary focus.

Capture the mind and her body will follow.

I have had the range of discipline without sex to edge with hedionistic lustful expressions.

For Me it depends on the chemistry and what I am attempting to accomplish.

I have had sexual release for a submissive along with discipline in an mixture that results in an intoxication elixer enjoyed by her, Myself or Both of Us.

Granted some were not always just for the betterment of the submissive but very primal enjoyment. I am very spontaneous and the play could go in any direction depending on the focus and reaction of her.

For Me it is her reacting to Me reacting to her reacting to Me. I feed her feeding Me feeding her if that makes sense....a ying yang cycle..an evolving process...

I also have enjoyed giving anal but I believe that I am one of the unfortunate ones that has not found please from anal stimulation be it rimming and finger stimulation.

I have never viewed anything done for My pleasure to be topping from the bottom as it is done with My pleasure in mind.

When submissives have rimmed it has been a mindset rather than physical. she is doing to please Me regardless of what distain she may have for it or enthusiasm.

Finger stimulation was initially interesting but rather tiresome after a while but praised them for attempting to please Me as I feel positive reflection is always good.

As far as anal penetration it just didn't make sense as the others were not effective.

I am sure this will bring an onslaught of why don't you try it or references to doing it to Me or such but it simply is not there nor are any innuendos to such merely but simple minded quips.

Security in being a dom is allowing what you want and discussing what she wants.

I do not consider getting a massage being topped form the bottom. In fact I soak up massage like a sponge

For Me the intensity is related to her focus and mindset. Mindset for Me can make the difference between good and nivarna...hard and massive.

My perceptrion is sexual is between the legs while sensual is between the ears.

Knowing that she is doing something she may not enjoy mentally or physically but is doing it to please Me is very powerful in My book.

When this servitude is present then I am more inclined to go the pleasure route for reward.

I feel that trust is something that is earned not self bestowed.

Just like a title of Master.

Trust is done thru consistancy and deed and doing to the best of your ability to bridge any communication gaps.

When you don't try that is when the problems can start.(Yeah I know I am harping on the communication thing again)

Relationships come and go.

Some are more death like in mourning and stages.

Like riding a horse you get thrown..you get hurt..but you brush yourself off and get back on again...just sometimes it takes a little longer to do so.

As far as the residual that depends on the indivdual. I grant respect and trust until I am shown otherwise.

So as far as your insight..life is for learning and some learn quicker than others...just the same lesson keeps coming back in one way or another in life and it just depends how much further you push toward progress with each chance.

Then again what do I know? right?

Sometimes you just have to say

It is what it is. Deal with it. WTF

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©



(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:16:28 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
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Sorry guys, I must be an ADHD Domme... but I did get to the third post!

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to LadyIce)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:22:01 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
Come across any stupid dom tricks you like to share?


Admittedly this is influenced by David Letterman's stupid pet tricks

I am sure We could also post those here also (pet = submissive)

I think it is just a matter of time that either it will be either flotsam or jetsam...

There is much power in the written word. A noble profession is wordsmithing.

The written word leaves much to perception and imagination.

I do not believe in setting a submissive up for failure for punishment.

That is a stupid dom trick.


I do not need a reason to discipline

I stand corrected (remember that group?).

What I left out is disciplining is done via training for the betterment of the submissive and My enjoyment.

What I left out was that I do not need a reason for My submissive to misbehave to get discipline from Me.

There is a method to My madness

There is the cause and effect.

Yes be it self reflection, inner awareness, endurance, stamina improvement, evelope pushing, or simply riding the wooden pony for My enjoyment it does all have meaning and that meaning is imparted to My submissive.

Being old school it is hard sometimes to undo the things I learned over twenty years ago.

I do not appologize for or to those to percieve methods of others to be different or wrong.

I have been using caps on pronouns and lack of caps on pronouns as to show and set mindset within messages.

Silly rabbit...would you rather he have all the subs up there with faces blocked?

Wouldn't that seem more like trophy displaying?

To Me it would.

Sometimes people who leave off head shots or show parts of the face do it for a reason.

True perception is everything but then maybe they are involved in a high profile job where that sort of stuff is political suicide.

Then again a profile is a listing of sorts. A quick snapshot, If one were to asscess people here..and We all do it..then we might as well go online looking for people the same way you do cars and houses..an ebay for doms and subs.

It is a postcard collection of sorts...you like it...write and find out if the person is indeed as shallow, self absorbed as your post here.

Then agian I have amny friends and associates that come from many wallks of life..to judge them on a one by one basis rather than how they outwardly appear is just not for Me.

The world is too quick for instant gratification...at least here in the DC area..cell phones, email..a microwave metality.

I hated what happened on 911 but I long for the effect it had on people I came in contact with. I made them human.

They started treating everyone like perople not numbers. People were concerned with each other. We all thought We were going to die for pete sake..how do I make ammends mindset.

Hell I even had a former lover / sub contact me and appologize for all that went down when she just walked out.

I often worry about the intentions of those that seem too critial of others. To Me it implies there is something missing from thier lives and they are angry. They impose or transfer that anger on everyone else.

So if you think someone is an asshole...before you label them for their profile or listings try and see just how accurate your perception or prejudice is....and it is prejudice as you pre judge before knowing all the fact...We all do it in some form...subtle or overt...

Ok you sick puppies..your still reading...getting darker here isn't it?

. Here's the question or scenereo.

You tell Me if I have crossed the line.

Your submissive claims to have limits defined scat, urine, blood, animals and children.

Other than that she welcomes all.

While bound and blindfolded you work up your nazi / Jewish scenereo with taughting hot verbage with fondling exams ect.

Then you tell her you are going to penetrate her.

You then insert a meat like substance and bein to fuck her with it.

she feins pleasure yet body reveals otherwise

You keep playing with her mind

You then tell her in a whisper much to her horror that you have been fucking her with pork!

Mindfuckery...have you crossed the limits?

In actuallity it is not..could be Kosher hot dog.

What have you done?

Well that could be one

or it could be My postings

or My profile

or the car I drive

or the fact that I accidentally wore one dark navy blue and one black sock and discovered it in a meeting with a client.<putting them on in the dark of morn can be tricking if not mated earlier>

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks

So anyway..just stick around..I am sure there is much more fun to be found here.

I haven't had this much entertainment since I use to run to B&D/S&M forums on two bbs (pre internet sites that you used dial up to get on) with all the vanillia people defending the lifestyle.

Then there was the text version of the internet where at least the debates were with Jon Jacobs or authors of Different Loving or Polly..covering the range of topics as "the true sub" the "true dom" the "true slave"...fun stuff..

So I love the smell of debate in the morning...do you want to have a socratict debate or surf???!

Well I just wrote about that in My book...yes if you look here www.dirtysockscannotbeseeninthedark.com it will tell yo uall about it

No need to appologize.

you should not be attacked for your inquires..the attacks come form the insecure..those unhappy with what they see inside..they have not evolevd thier self awarenss ..sort of like in high school..remember?...anyway...

did not do the presented posting but it was more of a MIND thing...something to get one to think....and the premise was she was Jewish and liked to play this taboo just as the emergence of Black women in B&D in My area are accepting the taboo of white master / black slave.

My understanding or lack of knowledge regarding the pork is that those of the Jewish faith do not partake in the consumtion of pork. My understanding (hope I do not have to preface all likes with a fucking disclaimer...sheess..)..where was I?..ah yes

My understanding is that food consumption is that of Kosher where it is reviewed and approved by said Rabbi in charge of such.

Please anone is is more in tune with this please feel free.

I am just a layman here..

a Roman Catholic in fact..

Which reminds Me of My bar days...remember thoses?

I was sitting there drinking My beer all decked out in full dress leather (riding days) when this guy was talking to these two woman trying to pick them up...this is the honest truth...so religion came around..

So they ask him what religion he is.

He tells them" I am a backsliding Morman"

"What?" they say.."We see you in here all the time drinking and trying to hit on women!"

To which her repelied...
oh ..I crack Myslef up...heheh

"I told you I was a back slidding Morman!...hehehe"
too funny...heeheeh

Would this be helpful?


Personal relationships and privacy

Do not assume that you know everything there is to know about a writer simply because you read their posts on a regular basis. Any judgements you make will be based on the information they have provided you about themselves, which is probably vague, incomplete or embellished. Whatever opinion you form on them as people, or their life as a whole, is probably best kept to yourself. Remember, you are the reader. An obvious exception to this would be if someone were asking for advice or opinions.

Never contact the writer for more details on events or personal information than what they have already provided on the site. Chances are if the information you seek isn't readily available, they have found it too personal or innapropriate to share. If you are close to the person they will eventually tell you privately, so intrusive questions are not necessary, just leave it alone. If you are meant to know, you will.

If you have a real life relationship with the writer, remember that communication is very important. View posts as online journals, no less sacred than a diary hidden between the mattresses. First of all let them know that you read their possts, especially if they did not tell you personally.
If they do not want you reading it, or suddenly stop posting entries, ask them why and if necessary, stop going to the site. It is important that as a friend, relative, co-worker or whatever you may be to the writer, that your presence at their post not impede their ability to express themselves. Remember this is their outlet. They may not want you to read certain things they might write about you or others you care about, in order to spare your feelings, avoid drama or maintain their privacy. You should respect this and immediately stop going to the site, and never relay any information you gather at their site to others who might use it against them.

If someone writes about you and you don't appreciate it, approach them about it. Try to remain calm and polite. Explain that you are entitled to your privacy as well. There are many compromises that can be reached from using vague nicknames to protect your anonymity, or not mentioning you at all. If you are upset because they are writing negative things about you, be reasonable, try to see if there is a way to resolve the issues and mend your relationship with the writer. If that doesn't seem to be possible, stop going to the post. They will eventually get bored and move on.

Ex-friends, lovers and estranged family members who have been cut out of the writer's life should refrain from reading their post. If the relationship has ended, there is no reason you should get daily updates on the person's life. If you simply can't help yourself, do it quietly, and never repeat what you read or use it to hurt the writer.

Feedback and initiating contact
If they have a post and you agree say so. Compliments will always be graciously accepted and appreciated. Criticisms and reproaches are fine if you have a problem with something, but try to remain constructive and not be an asshole. No one is forcing you to give out your opinions, so if you don't have anything remotely positive to say, it may be best to keep quiet.

When contacting a person for the first time, have a clue. If they have a detailed biography and personal information that describes their life from the day they were born, chances are they won't appreciate you wasting their time asking them how old they are or where they live. Writers put a lot of thought and time into their sites, so take the time to read the information they provide you with before you ask for more.

Never assume a writer owes you any response. They may receive from a few to hundreds of messages per day. Some will gladly write back immediately, others will never reply. Try not to take it personally, because chances are it has more to do with their schedule than anything else. If you get upset and nasty about feeling rejected, you will probably ruin any chances you had of befriending the person.

Don't delude yourself into thinking that you will be as important to the writer as he/she is to you. Remember, you are peering in on their life, sharing their thoughts, and though they may become quite special to you, you remain a mystery to them. If they are cold or unreceptive to your advances, keep in mind that you are a stranger to them at this point, and they may or may not want to keep it that way. It's entirely their choice.

Offensive language and materials

The internet is a place that encourages free and creative expression, and as in any environment where people are given this freedom, conflict may arise. If an author uses language or materials that offend you, leave. Contacting the person or their isp, demanding they remove the content or change their ways is absurd because you are viewing their content of your own free will by visiting their post within said perameters of the site. Simply stop going there and you won't have to see whatever it is you don't like about the site. An obvious exception to this would be if someone were providing illegal materials, in which case it would be appropriate to complain to their isp or contact uthorities.

And then again this might just be a simple prop to occupy their time.

It is what it is.

Perception.

Reality.

Get over it and move on if you have nothing constructive to say.

Any questions?

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©


(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:32:43 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
I  was going thru My vinyl collection and came across one record I thought you might like. Perhaps We might have fun with the lyrics since it is stupid dom tricks here.


"Bang A Dom (Get It On)" ( unreleased version)

T. Rex January 1972

Well, you're dirty and sweet, clad in black, don't look back, and I don't love you.

You're dirty and sweet, oh yeah.

Well, you're windy and wild you've got the teeth of the hydra upon you.

You're dirty-sweet and you're my girl.

Get it on, bang a gong, get it on.

Get it on, bang a gong, move on.

These boots were made for walking, and that's just what they'll do.

So keep your bitterness(whispered)

Bon voyage, y'all.

Meanwhile, I'm still thinking.

"Badges, to ***-****** **** with badges!

We have no badges. In fact, we don't need badges.

I don't have to show you any stinking badges, you ***-****** ****** and *****' tu madre!

Come out there from that ****-**** of yours. I have to speak to you."


1935 The Treasure of the Sierra Madre/Book

Sometimes We get bogged down in the weeds it seems.

Have you encountered anything that a submissive may evoke a stupid dom response?

Was there anything a dom did that you did not understand why immediately but over time did?

or just never did?

Did you ever get disappointed when the romantic imagery of a dom was dispelled by something he did that was a mistake?

just a human error?

something as a all knowing all seeing dom?

ever been in love with being in love syndrom?

go ahead...pick a card...any card...

So what would you think of a dom that liked the color pink just cause the color soothed him or he was able to see in the darkness of a dungeon because of his eyesight? hmmmm...what if he painted his dungeon pink?

So doms that take pics of their subs:


Trophy hunting or documentation of events shared?

Filming while hooded or not hooded?

Stupid dom trick?

Orgasm denial


Right from the begining on first encounter in session

Training or stupid dom trick?

Continual orgasm denial - substained endurance discipline or stupid dom trick?

Any stupid dom contracts?
 

What about stupid dom manuals?

"Under consideration"
 

Another means of avoidance?

Commitment?

Let the dom play around while the submissive is on the back burner?

Stupid dom trick?

A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death

This is not needed is it?

Negative behaviour breeds negative.

Sometimes we get off on the wrong foot or misread something.

Now if Dr. Phil were here he would say something like

"I think the lot of you are a bunch of f**kin' perverts. Why don't you all just get in a room and flogg each other to death."

or then again maybe he wouldn't.

I don't think I like Dr Phil

Scarey though as Dr Phil as the grand dungeon master...ewwwww

What works for Me is I make sure My submissive knows the various pleasure of orgsms and full body orgasm before any orgasm denial.


This way she knows what she is missing.

To set out right from the start without any orgasm and using denial is a stupid dom trick

Rewards come in the form of orgasms also

I have found a renewed interest in Olive Oil


Extra virgin olive oil

Why do you need to be spanked OTK?


What is your situation once you find yourself over the knee?

I need to be spanked OTK because?

( ) I need the enforcement by someone in charge

( ) I need the instant gratification I get from being spanked

( ) I need the attention I get from being spanked

( ) I need the atonement I get when I am spanked. Forgiveness is nice

( ) I like spanking as a forplay...sex is great after spanking!

( ) I am a painslut

( ) I like the ritual of OTK. I love begging, pleading and squirming

( ) I am wicked and should be punished

( ) I need improvement and spankin helps me

( ) It helps me with stress and feeling out of control. It centers me

( )


Ross
©º°¨¨°º©








(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:33:09 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
Well Noah is reading this, hopefully he'll make heads or tails of it.  It would be really awesome, if he could sum it all up!  I keep looking for intent, purpose, point, conclusion......Is there an ultimate question one needs to answer after all of this?  Is the OP just musing?  Thinking out loud?  What does he want others to contribute? 

Just random thoughts?  Is there eventually a test?  I would add something........ but the OP is all over the board and i cant keep up with the thought jumping.  Its one thing if you know the direction or even the person... one can usually keep up... and where does the road lead?  I sure as hell the road leads somewhere


_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:36:30 PM   
simplygrl


Posts: 46
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline
I think my head is spinning.  I tried. Really. I tried.

_____________________________

_./'\._¸¸.•¤**¤•.¸.•¤**¤•….*
*•. .•**His wish is my command*..**
/.•*•.\ ¸..•¤**¤•., .•¤**¤•.*.*

;)

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:36:44 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyIce

My hat is off the first person to read all this and answer the question.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of
five.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to LadyIce)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:38:08 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PsyVamp

Sorry guys, I must be an ADHD Domme... but I did get to the third post!
"I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket,
eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk. I said, "Dude, you are a
cow. The metamorphosis is complete. Don't fall asleep or I will tip you
over."

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:39:17 PM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

Well Noah is reading this, hopefully he'll make heads or tails of it.  It would be really awesome, if he could sum it all up!  I keep looking for intent, purpose, point, conclusion......Is there an ultimate question one needs to answer after all of this?  Is the OP just musing?  Thinking out loud?  What does he want others to contribute? 

Just random thoughts?  Is there eventually a test?  I would add something........ but the OP is all over the board and i cant keep up with the thought jumping.  Its one thing if you know the direction or even the person... one can usually keep up... and where does the road lead?  I sure as hell the road leads somewhere


There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of
in your philosophy.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©


(in reply to Devilslilsister)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:41:31 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Yes the dominant should cherrish and nurture his submissive regardless if he truely owns her or hass a contract. Contracts are only as valid as the involved believe they are and to the enforcement of it.
 
Question then: Has anyone had a submissive that decided to change the agreement verbally or in actions after a contract was signed and agreed upon?

Ever had the inability to effectively enforce actions with a retreating submissive?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©


Yes. And yes. 

How's that?

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:42:15 PM   
Donnalee


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline
I think they have medication for this now.

_____________________________

Just through all of your ups and downs ... know that I love you dearly.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:45:51 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline
I'm lost. 

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The breakdown of communication resulted in the brea... - 3/29/2007 6:48:07 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

I'm lost. 


Turn right...

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 20
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