Can someone help me...

Can someone help me... (Full Version)

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Adrao -> Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:20:30 AM)
... find out if anyone knows a young, but mature Master? I mean, I am new to the lifestyle and I can say I really love it. However I am not sure if because I am 21 year old man I wont get a slave until my 30s. slaves, now answer, how much do you take experience into concideration? Do you think it is possible to grow into a relationship WITH someone? or is it up to the Master to be experienced and mature before starting a relationship? Thanks in advence to all who answer my call. Adrao

Laura -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:23:03 AM)
Find out where the local groups meet and get meeting people. Don't just look for your perfect sub, meet everyone cause they all know of others who are not coming to the meetings. Munches are casual, you wear street clothes, have dinner and conversation. I think more single women are likely to go to munches than other play parties.

Adrao -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:28:08 AM)
That is true. However that doesnt really answer my doubt. I thank you for the recommendations and I am working on that already, those meetings are fun but I find myself out of place, maybe because I am very new to said meetings and dont really know the rest of the people, or maybe because I am 20-30 years younger than everyone else?

crouchingtigress -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:29:32 AM)
i am never interested in a dom with out experiance....i mean whats the point?

Adrao -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:32:23 AM)
Are you someone who bases experience in age? Would you give a young Master/Mistress the chance to prove you wrong? Or would you refuse everytihng because of the looks of it?

LotusSong -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:34:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Adrao Are you someone who bases experience in age? Would you give a young Master/Mistress the chance to prove you wrong? Or would you refuse everytihng because of the looks of it? I'm always more interested in motive than experience.

yenlui -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:36:42 AM)
Being young and unexperienced can be a problem, but it's also true that everyone's been there. I can only speak for myself, but I don't see experience - nor age - as the most important thing when "looking" for a Master, what really matters is common sense, ability to admit shortcomings, maturity and so on.

juliaoceania -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:37:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Adrao Are you someone who bases experience in age? Would you give a young Master/Mistress the chance to prove you wrong? Or would you refuse everytihng because of the looks of it? there are many inexperienced older people in regard to WIITWD. I would venture to say that age does not equal experience, but you would surely recognize it increases the chances of it. Most young subs that I see posting here are interested in older more experienced doms... I would venture to say that in my opinion that the most valuable experience in dominating me is life experience... and no, a 21 year old does not have that (as in raising a family, holding a job for a decade, establishing themselves in life)

Laura -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:38:33 AM)
You will find someone if you look Adrao. That is what I meant. Just didn't spell it out. Some people want experience, some want youth, some want long legs and a full wallet and some just want a really great smile. You can't peek around every corner, just get in there and mingle.

Adrao -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:41:48 AM)
thank you for all the comments. Experience start now with this post for me I guess [8\|]

crouchingtigress -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 10:54:04 AM)
you asked about experience not how i access experiance.....i take folks at their word if they say they are not experienced as you have said, i would not be interested. there are tons of natural doms out there, introduced to this lifestyle through their sexuality. Yay for them, my introduction in to this, was and still is, more about philosophy, protocols, spirituality, head space, and playing with the life force...none of those things come naturally, you need to become a student, you need to find a community or a mentor and truly spend years learning to intricacy's and intimacy's of this sort of play. i have been with a "natural dom" to me all that means is that the raw materials are there for him to become his most realized self, but it will take years of education, and experimentation as well as some deep self realization to become some one i am attracted to playing with. my experience is that very few of the natural doms choose to cultivate their raw talents in to something truly extraordinary, they simply like to be told they are the best and yes sir nor sir ad nauseum... age has nothing to do with it, i have known 2 20 year old dominant males that had spent the time and care honing their craft....and they were amazing. we are talking about a skill set...you cant just love brain surgery and open up some ones brain....you cant just love flying and take to the sky...you have to put the time in, you have to study, you have to know the philosophy's behind what it is that you are doing and why...you need to know what to do when some thing goes wrong... you like so many will most likely not heed this advice and go and find yourself a willing brain to operate on...it wont kill you and wont kill her either...you learn through trial and error... but if instead of finding a girl, you put the time in to learning, serving, (yes you can still serve your community as a dom) self discipline, and self knowledge...one day you might have something there.

onestandingstill -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 11:03:02 AM)
Hello Adrado, Time served does not always mean better trained or skilled. Some DOm's in 10 years have less experience than somei n one year. Your quest for knowledge and experience and the effort you put in varies from person to person. The way people learn and assimilate things also differs. Time and prior experience isn't near as important to drive and ability to learn. suzanne

toservez -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 11:21:40 AM)
Experience depends on the goal of the relationship. People wanting something casual and/or are experimenting with the life are going to be more interested in a person’s experience then a person looking for a LTR, at least I hope so as there are so many things that makes two people compatible with each other that is either there or not and experience is the one thing that can be acquired. I always feel part sorry and part people get what is coming to them when looking for their one and putting experience too far up on the priority list. In the end it is about how two people get along, care and love each other and they can make this life into there life and not the this is how it is done mentality that too often appears. To the OP, it is unfortunate but people in your age group are less concerned about finding the one and therefore experience is a big deal. Anyone can chest thump about maturity but it is way more then that, life stages are real and perceptions are people’s realities. The best way for someone your age is like others have said, be active in your local community. You will have a much better chance to show what you are made of and attracting someone because they have gotten to know you then just trying cyber. Remember though patience is not thinking you will have to wait until you are in your thirties before you get a chance but it is much more then going to a few events or a few months pass and no one is interested in you so why bother.

OhBeMyMind -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 1:28:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Adrao ... find out if anyone knows a young, but mature Master? I mean, I am new to the lifestyle and I can say I really love it. However I am not sure if because I am 21 year old man I wont get a slave until my 30s. slaves, now answer, how much do you take experience into concideration? Do you think it is possible to grow into a relationship WITH someone? or is it up to the Master to be experienced and mature before starting a relationship? Thanks in advence to all who answer my call. Adrao I am not quite a spring chicken ...but if I had a choice between someone with fathomless experience that I did not click well with, or someone with little or no experience (that did have sincere interest) whom I clicked beautifully with, I would take the no experience in a heartbeat. People are learning the lifestyle everyday...there is no shame at all in being new...but if I do not mesh well with someone that probably is not going to change too much. The problem I encountered when I was searching, were dominants who claimed to have blah blah blah experience when actually they did not, which is nothing more than a recipe for disaster. No need to be in too much of a hurry. It took me almost 10 years to find my Master, and I am proud to say his collar is the only one that has ever graced my neck.

Focus50 -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 1:56:29 PM)
Master is someone who leads and takes charge of his slave; who makes decisions that affect both their lives; who accepts responsibility, esp when he's made a wrong decision. You can say they're equivalent to a General, and I doubt there's any 21 yo Generals out there - for a good reason. I suppose Alexander is an alleged exception, assuming he really was that young.... However, learning to be a Master isn't just about reading and research. The skills in mature decision making are mostly learnt long before most of us found the lifestyle. Most 21 yo's are ready to step up and take charge etc; if you ask them - "talking the talk" is what the young excel at. And when they fuck up, as they inevitably do through overestimation of their skills and capabilities, there are consequences, esp if someone else is affected. Maturity and responsibility are NOT just buzz words, they are life skills developed through experiencing life and making your own decisions - AND mistakes etc. So you start with the mundane - get a job, get in debt, get your own place, pay your own way, get a g/f, maybe raise a kid, learn how life isn't fair or the frustrations of not seemingly getting ahead no matter how hard you try and so on. For most of us, 30 seems an average age for starting to get your shit together where it matters most.... I think most subs are cautious of "masters" who are younger for good reason - there's too much at stake! What's your big hurry? *Focus.*

crouchingtigress -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 2:09:00 PM)
focus why "get in debt"?

Adrao -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 2:11:09 PM)
So what you are saying is that a Master is someone experienced not only on the lifestyle but also in general life. I should "get a job, get in debt, get your own place, pay your own way, get a g/f, maybe raise a kid, learn how life isn't fair or the frustrations of not seemingly getting ahead no matter how hard you try and so on" Why cant a relationship start from what I want it to be? or even better said, from what WE* want it to be. *we being me and whoeveri choose to be with me. I am not "talking the talk" as I barely know what to say... But lets assume we all know im tlaking about a real relationship, with some one also young, and not just for playing. I dont know but it seems most 30 year old people would talk the talk better than a 21 year old one because obviously they got the "experience", better said, they fucked up more than I have. Why is it so hard for young people to learn from other's mistakes and live the life they want, learning from each other? Perhaps I am lving on a fairy tale, or better know to many as Gorean world... But who are we to say that is not possible?

Adrao -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 2:12:47 PM)
and yes as crouch said... why get in debt? why fuck up so much before start being happy? I just dont get it...Will time teach me the meaning of all that saying?

thetammyjo -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 2:13:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Adrao That is true. However that doesnt really answer my doubt. I thank you for the recommendations and I am working on that already, those meetings are fun but I find myself out of place, maybe because I am very new to said meetings and dont really know the rest of the people, or maybe because I am 20-30 years younger than everyone else? You just have to keep going. If there are groups around you that do demos or educational workshop, attend all you can even those you don't think you're really interested in. It will not only help you learn but get you seen, especially if you ask intellect questions and volunteer to help when needed and not just to find a partner. Depending on where you live, a few universities and colleges in the USA have SM groups and some cities have TNG groups for younger people.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Can someone help me... (4/5/2007 2:24:21 PM)
Adrao, i gave this some thought myself, and i think what he was saying was that getting in debt is a big responsibility, you become beholden to your word and to an institution....and as that responsibility and honoring your word factor so highly in becoming a great Master, having and meeting that responsibility each month creates an internal experience of trustworthiness and responsibity...And the internal experience of a person, is then reflected in the external thoughts and actions. Does that make sense?

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