RE: Politeness. (Full Version)

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BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Politeness. (4/18/2005 12:44:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert
I give Lily a lot of credit for stepping up as the sender of the note that upset poor little nella.

I agree, and it would have been in better taste if Nella decided to complain about how awful someone is to her friends.
Because here, I think we're all about our opinions, and sometimes that honesty is interpreted as being unkind, plus our ideas of what constitutes nice differ. To me, someone who is honest without personally tearing me is nice and someone I can respect. To other folks nice=lying to not upset, or as one friend of mine called my nice words in the past "sugarcoating shit"...

quote:

What you see as a problem of other folks being impolite, I see as your own problem of childishness comounded by whining.

I think this place is gentler than interactions out in public. I've met all types of personalities here, and when I notice that the vibe is off with a particular person, I steer clear.
I don't think anyone owes me niceness, or that I owe it to anyone else. I don't think we're all a big happy family. I simply state "my opinion", and don't ever think I can control how someone else responds. M



stormsfate -> RE: Politeness. (4/18/2005 1:01:21 PM)

I'm just curious...and I don't mean to hijack this thread...but if someone emails you privately...isn't it the courteous thing to do to keep it private? I mean...if you don't want to block each other....why bring it to the boards? If it can't be worked out in private, I strongly doubt that with 20 people chiming in it will improve the situation. Instead, its more likely to turn into a huge brawl with even more involved.

At least Lily is being an adult about this...she may have strong opinions (as many of us do), but I've never known her to be spiteful or nasty about it. Is it possible that you are just being overly sensative, nella?

Anyway...that's the rest of my contribution. Hope it helps [;)]


best regards,
f




EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Politeness. (4/18/2005 1:04:57 PM)

I think both sides are being pretty immature about it.



stormsfate -> RE: Politeness. (4/18/2005 1:07:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

I think both sides are being pretty immature about it.


Does anyone really care? Other than to have fun stirring the pot more in this thread? I doubt it. <shrug>


f



darkinshadows -> RE: Politeness. (4/18/2005 3:10:35 PM)

Geez...again with he politeness threads already.

Nobody anywhere has to be nice, or polite, or respectful to anyone else.
Demand it if you want, but don't expect it.

BDSM isn't a higher Lifestyle. It is wiitwd... and just like everything else, people disagree.
Sometime, people just want to air it publicly. Sure, if you want to submit to a tit-for-tat, then fine... your choice.

But to bring a private disagreement into a public forum is non consensual.

I think nella does a great job seeing as English isn't her first language... and i enjoy debating with her. She has a right to her opinions.

But I have utter respect for Lily, and if she felt a need to write, then she has that right.

If you don't want to get 'nasty' mails, or people who disagree with you, then don't bring your thoughts into a public forum.

And for those who automatically turn on one person or the other... there are always two sides - don't just start a flame war based on a few words written in self pity when someone feels wronged (and has publically apologised for such.) When this thread started, it could have been a handful of people that (nella) could have meant. People spoiling for a fight have probably gone searching to try and work out the 'culprit'(I know this is true, because I was emailed about it)...

This isn't anything about wiitwd.
It's another flame war.

Please, a little Peace and Love anyone?



lil1v -> RE: Politeness. (4/18/2005 3:18:41 PM)

*laughs*

I really didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this thread. From my reading of this, I gathered that "post nice" threads don't go over well here. I guess I haven't been here long enough to realize that. I actually kind of like them. Sometimes I know I get too caught up in "my opinion" that I forget that others have feelings as well. I little reminder is once in a while is nice.

However, this thread seems to have lapsed into a fight between Lily and nella... which in itself amuses me. Kinda an example of what happens when personalities and opinions clash. Its like watching an accident as you drive by. You're just glued to see what happened.

As for the comments of people having uninformed opinions on everything.. I guess I should probably step forward and raise my hand. Though I do try to make it clear that I am new, and that its just my opinion.. I do find myself posting on many threads. But then, I thought thats what this site was for.. learning from as many points of view as possible.

I also haven't gotten any hate mail. I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong. I feel all neglected now. Someone send me a nasty note!! :)




ProtagonistLily -> RE: Politeness. (4/18/2005 3:37:35 PM)

v,

You aren't doing anything wrong. And everything I've read from you has been sincere. You have stated that you are in a growth journey and you are doing just fine. You don't try to sound like the foremost authority and you've been honest about where you are at in your life, i.e. just learning. I think that allows you to be open and learn more :)

And just for the record, this isn't a fight. There's no fur flying...yet ~wink~

Good luck,
L



ProtagonistLily -> RE: Politeness. (4/18/2005 3:39:53 PM)

quote:

But I have utter respect for Lily, and if she felt a need to write, then she has that right.


Ditto, DA. Thanks :)

L



LadyAngelika -> RE: Politeness. (4/18/2005 4:10:57 PM)

quote:

This forum, as far as i have understood it is a dicussion forum, where pepole discuss...


… where we discuss WIITWD, not how are feelings are hurt.

My main gripe with this thread is that it has no place in General BDSM Discussion. Nella, you have been around long enough to at least be able to discern which section to post to. There is a Lounge and an Off-topic Discussion section in the Casual Banter area. Anything that does not have anything to do with WIITWD should be posted there.

My second gripe is that this does not belong in a public forum. And the fact that you posted to this more popular main forum is proof that all you want to do is gather sympathy. You want to find sympathy? It’s in the dictionary between shit & syphilis darling.

You obviously have issues to work out with Lily and those would best be worked out in private. If you can’t work them out, that is what the block button is for. Otherwise, we are here to discuss kinky stuff like ass-smacking, orgasm denial and leather baby!

I’m not condoning or condemning what Lily did. I’m simply saying that as long as you have a public mailbox on collarme.com, expect mail from anyone. You have the choice to block or trash mail. Make that choice.

- LA



srahfox -> RE: Politeness. (4/21/2005 9:03:20 AM)

Amen! I do feel everyone has a right to their own views and I suppose that if people want to fling mud... well have fun. I agree with both of them. There are times when I think people need to step back and take a deep breath before they continue posting. The world would be a touch nicer os everyone did that every once in a while. (I'll try to remember I said that next time someone cuts in front of me while I'm driving. We'll see if I keep those words from my lips. : ) However I don't think that should have been posted here. I have to admire Lily for stepping forward. I have to say that I often find it bothersome when I see someone who really has nothing to add but feels they have to say something in a thread anyway. Although I can't say there aren't times I'm guilty of that myself. (Like now). Over all I do feel this is a polite place to talk, but there are a LOT of people here and we can't all agree, who the heck would want that anyway? You don't have to read something, or respond to something, you don't like. I don't think there is a single person here that I agree with all the time. Often I didn't agree with Jules but I did find her posts interesting. Oddly I miss them now. Heck sometimes people misunderstand things, it's happened to me. What this long post boils down to ... get over it.. move on and good luck in life.



CelticPrince -> RE: Politeness. (4/21/2005 12:32:22 PM)

nella,

trust me when you partisipate in boards, you will get some folks that just feel they emphasis themselves but placing negative conntations on other's thoughts.

CP



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