RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have a fear of?

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 2:23:46 PM

UntamedStar

Posts: 42
Joined: 5/3/2006
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Loosing the fuukin key!!!

(in reply to Alloces)

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Post #: 41

RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 2:49:23 PM

mydezire

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/4/2007
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I know what you mean Faramir...been there and it hurts like hell.

(in reply to Faramir)

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Post #: 42

RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 2:50:27 PM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
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Losing Rob goes without saying..worst nightmare scenerio on that one.

Rejection.. What we do is incredibly personal, The way I play leaves me open and emotionally vunerable which is a terrifying thing, throw in sharing that side then being rejected or ridiculed...makes my breathe catch just thinking about it...

Fear of fire play is one most know about me already, even watching it makes my blood go cold. Being blind folded isn't a big thrill either, being able to look the person in the eye is incredibly personal.

denika

(in reply to pearlmoongirl)

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Post #: 43

RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 2:56:01 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
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quote:

ORIGINAL: denika
Being blind folded isn't a big thrill either, being able to look the person in the eye is incredibly personal.

yes.. I noticed that... taking your ability away from seeing my eyes increases your tension. In looking in the eyes you feel a sense of safety and it's also a way you hold control. It's like a line to the cliff before you jump.... loosing that liine.. well then you just hope the parachute opens and I catch you.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to denika)

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Post #: 44

RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 3:25:09 PM

denika

Posts: 619
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

yes.. I noticed that... taking your ability away from seeing my eyes increases your tension. In looking in the eyes you feel a sense of safety and it's also a way you hold control. It's like a line to the cliff before you jump.... loosing that liine.. well then you just hope the parachute opens and I catch you.

Your perceptivness scares the daylights out of me at times...You know that don't you?

denika
Lucky for me, I know you have strong arms to catch me

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 3:30:23 PM

LadyAnnabelleLee

Posts: 180
Joined: 2/21/2007
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I'm afraid that the entirety of what I believe myself to be is a lie and I've no place in that which I've chosen. That part of the major way I define myself is completely and totally wrong.

I'd say thats a pretty big fear...

_____________________________

It is the loud few that speak for the quiet many. ~Me

And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
~An excerpt from "Annabel Lee" by Edgar A

(in reply to UntamedStar)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 5:01:40 PM

Xeandra

Posts: 49
Joined: 3/14/2006
From: Arizona
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pearlmoongirl

1) I'm afraid I'll never find a Master Who wants me. That's a big one.

2) I'm afraid my ignorance about the lifestyle will land me in danger or make me look stupid (which is why I've yet to go to the munch near my house). i.e. I thought Shibari might be some sort of aphrodisiac sushi ... and watersports might be getting off with a handheld showerhead.

but mostly, seriously,

3) I'm afraid my fears will hold me back.

~ pmg

Truly it looks like you have the answer to your fear and that you just need to take that step into it im not saying jump in headfirst but it sounds liek you knwo what your problem is and how to solve it.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Suess

(in reply to pearlmoongirl)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 5:05:20 PM

Xeandra

Posts: 49
Joined: 3/14/2006
From: Arizona
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAnnabelleLee

I'm afraid that the entirety of what I believe myself to be is a lie and I've no place in that which I've chosen. That part of the major way I define myself is completely and totally wrong.

I'd say thats a pretty big fear...

'd say your right but at least you've identified it i seriously doubt anyone that is drawn to this or this helps define them in any way is wrong about it.

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Suess

(in reply to LadyAnnabelleLee)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 5:30:49 PM

newsub27

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/10/2007
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I fear becoming to attached to Master! I have been able to submit much of myself to him, but right before Master came along I left a 14 yr marriage with the only man I have ever loved and I fear giving Master too much of myself. I am sure one day he will leave and if I give him all of me how will I ever be able to handle it, so for now I submit my body to him but worry about allowing him access to my heart and soul......

(in reply to Alloces)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 6:05:30 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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When I first became involved in the lifestyle I spent quite a bit of time considering what my particular approach would be.

I always seem to be the Dominant one. Dont know why. Most of the time I feel unwilling to take the time to bother. I have been asked in the past if I would be willing to bottom. I have never met anybody so far who I felt I would enjoy being (or trust them enough to be) a bottom to.

Not sure those qualify as fears, but frankly I am awestruck that people allow other people to immobilize them and render them helpless.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

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(in reply to Xeandra)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 7:51:00 PM

haysup

Posts: 35
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I'm afraid of not recognizing my dominant's needs, desires, and especially, limits. Just because my partner is a dominant doesn't mean she doesn't also need to be taken care of and supported, in a different way than I do, but the need is there all the same. We are dom/sub but we are also partners and she isn't superhuman just because she's dominant.

(in reply to Sinergy)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 8:12:01 PM

MissSCD

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I am not comfortable with fire play. I have not seen it done, so I have not way to judge it yet. I am definitely not wanting to see it.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to Alloces)

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Post #: 52

RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 8:17:08 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

I am not comfortable with fire play. I have not seen it done, so I have not way to judge it yet. I am definitely not wanting to see it.

Regards, MissSCD

OOoooooo....fire play!! Done right it's wonderful. That's something I'm hoping I can experience again.

(in reply to MissSCD)

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Post #: 53

RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/15/2007 8:49:17 PM

Slavetrainer2007

Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
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I love fire play! Give me a propane torch , a lighter, and a sub!You will never need to shave or wax again.

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Life is given, Everything else is earned.

(in reply to sublizzie)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/16/2007 11:16:02 AM

Suleiman

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Joined: 9/9/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KevinS

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman
Indiscriminate sexual intercourse and the transmission of STDs.

So you are stating that these two things are specific to the BDSM lifestyle, or, perhaps, more prevalent than the norm?

Not so much any more, but a lot goes on (or can go on) at parties. I remember one guy who was a part of the social circle I was peripherally involved in passing an STD on to nearly half a dozen partners over the course of an evening because he had been pilloried and was sucking every cock that dangled in front of him. It's not specific to the lifestyle, but it is prevalent in the scene, even now, and there will always be idiot "blowjob doms", het or queer, who insist on riding bareback, and spineless subs who let them.

I look at it this way - If my partner leaves me, I will be heartbroken. It may take me a year or two, but I will recover. If someone goes too far and the sub winds up in the hospital, they'll heal. If someone accidentally steps on an emotional landmine buried by past IRL trauma, things will suck, the relationship may end badly, but both parties will get over it.

Herpies is forever.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to KevinS)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/16/2007 11:27:10 AM

MasterGremlin

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Joined: 12/30/2006
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The only thing that truly terrifies me would be if some thing happened to Master. I don't think I could physically live without Him. They would have to bury me with Him kneeling at His feet.

Sincerly,
minxy

(in reply to Xeandra)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/16/2007 3:09:22 PM

Aswad

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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: UntamedStar

Loosing the fuukin key!!!

I know you're directing a joke at the Troll but, man, I did that once... or, rather, thought I did, several years ago.

Imagine me searching every square inch of the room, all the time thinking how sucky it would be if I had to call the cops. My uncle was on duty, in that district, at the time, in the right department...

Turns out it was almost exactly where I thought I put it, of course.

Nowadays I have spares, of course.

(in reply to UntamedStar)

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Post #: 57

RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/16/2007 3:12:57 PM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGremlin

They would have to bury me with Him kneeling at His feet.

I don't think they're allowed to do that anymore, unfortunately.

(in reply to MasterGremlin)

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Post #: 58

RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/16/2007 4:05:48 PM

CypherEnigma

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My biggest fear is not being able to submit again.

(in reply to Aswad)

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RE: Is there anything in *the lifestyle* that you have ... - 4/16/2007 4:12:01 PM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
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Losing my awareness of my partner's emotions and thoughts. I feel that I'm quite perceptive most of the times. It scares me that I will lose that perception, and do something that will physically or emotionally hurt my partner.

Tristan

(in reply to CypherEnigma)

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Post #: 60