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mp072004 -> RE: Did I screw things up? (4/18/2007 4:22:14 PM)
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It's unfortunate that you became ill after a fun day together, and when undoubtedly you and she would have had some things planned for the evening and perhaps the following day. I'm sure you and your playmate were both disappointed.
I think that the woman you described behaved wrongly. While she wasn't necessarily responsible for driving you to the hospital (unless, of course, you two had agreed that she would be responsible for your transportation when with her), it would have been compassionate for her to do so, and certainly the rather shrewish behavior you described was certainly ill-mannered and wrong.
But that's not the question you're asking. You're asking whether it is normal (or, perhaps, valid) for you to feel guilty and to apologize when a person you are trying to cause to like you reacts to you with anger, even if you don't think you've done anything wrong. Yes, I do think that's a common response, and perhaps even more common among people who are inclined to defer to others, and among women. Should you have acted differently? Yes, I do think you should have acted differently. I think you should not have apologized. Instead, I think you should have calmly repeated your request and stated a reason or two justifying your request (e.g. "Please drive me to the hospital. I feel very ill, and you had told me that you would take care of my transportation needs this weekend, so I didn't bring my car/metrocard/moped/whatever.")
Monica
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