the mentality of a "switch"

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the mentality of a "switch" - 4/24/2005 6:21:48 PM

slutsinlove

Posts: 16
Joined: 3/31/2005
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Please excuse me as I am new to the D/s lifestyle, and have been researching the roles of both Doms and subs, I am currently engaged to a beautiful sub female, and we are exploring my Dominant qualities. "switch is not something I have not researched much but by the words definition its not hard to figure out that it is someone who explores both roles. Is a switch considered someone who use to have one role but now has completely switched to the opposite role? or is it more like they explore both roles, switching back and forth? My fiance says she is a submissive and she is always in that role with me, however she does have experience as a Domme to bi women. but never to men... does this make her a switch? or just a bisexual woman with different needs and desired from men and women? She has been told by Dom men that there is no such thing as a switch, and as a novice Dom I could see where a Dom Master would have trouble with this particular term. Why would a Dom man seek out a Switch rather than a commited sub?

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RE: the mentality of a "switch" - 4/25/2005 11:22:27 PM

peppermint379

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

The word switch has many definitions depending on who is using the word. Does it really matter if your sub could be considered a switch? Will you love her more or less if we call her a switch?

Many do not believe that switches are a real part of the community. They say that switches are just confused or just players. Those people are perfectly within their rights to believe anything they wish to believe.

The beauty of this lifestyle is that we all do our kink in our own ways. There is no right or correct way. There is only YOUR way. When and if you find a partner whose needs seem to be complimentary to your needs, then you've found a gem.

So.....switch or don't switch. That is a personal choice between you and your partner. I won't be peeking in your window to see if you follow a certain protocol in your relationship.

As to why a Dom man would seek out a switch...well, again that depends on that Dom's personal motives. There is not just one answer.

(in reply to slutsinlove)

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RE: the mentality of a "switch" - 4/26/2005 9:36:48 AM

ajewl

Posts: 16
Joined: 4/20/2005
Status: offline

Sounds like the two of you have a very open and honest means of communication there...congrats! Some people will spend their life searching for another person who will share that kind of bond and might not find it. If you are fortunate enough to have a partner with mutual interest or at least willing to explore into each others, then you both are already one step ahead.

As for the switch/no switch/bi/labels...All people should explore their desires...It is my opinion that everyone should do what seems right for their own selves...be true to yourself and just be happy with you. I do not see the need for someone else to make judgement calls about another's preferences in life nor do I see the need for another to give any sort of confirmation as to the essnce of a personality.

All individual's needs are different...what works for one is not the same as another. Be happy, nurturing and enjoy your lives together

...best wishes....ajewl.

.

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RE: the mentality of a "switch" - 4/26/2005 11:29:44 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
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I am a switch, and apparently somewhat similar to your sub/switch - I only submit to one gender, and never to the other. Within the gender that I sub to, I only submit to certain people, and at the moment, there is only one that I even consider it with. However, I do submit to her from time to time, so obviously, I am not always Domme. I am always Domme to our boy(s) and always will be, but when it comes to Holly, sometimes I can't help myself (and don't want to).

Don't let other people's perceptions of your relationship or you (or her) affect you. People who exclude an entire subset of this lifestyle always irritate me ... it's not like we aren't already 'outcasts' from most aspects of society (if we are openly and obviously in the lifestyle on a daily basis) but now we must create outcasts in the place where we do fit in. If you and she are both happy and comfortable with who and what she is, then that is all that matters.

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RE: the mentality of a "switch" - 5/2/2005 1:21:04 PM

Moleculor

Posts: 189
Joined: 5/23/2004
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Switch is the one that should be "other".

You have top. You have bottom. You have "other".

I'm "other". I don't fit the "perfectly defined" (hah) roles of top/bottom.

_____________________________

</sarcasm>

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RE: the mentality of a "switch" - 5/3/2005 10:24:30 AM

dsamethyst

Posts: 91
Joined: 9/20/2004
Status: offline

Hello...Im Dawn and Im a Switch...

yeah i know it sounds like the beginning to an AA meeting (no offense meant to those who are friends of Bill W.)

I can speak for me. and only me I will not deem anything to be other than my feelings on the topic. I play with primarily men, been known to play friendly like with women but Men are my thing. okay that said.. I submit to only a man that can dominate my mind as well as my body. It takes more to be a Dominant then to have really neato rope tricks and really nice Bull whip. It takes compassion and understanding and most of all it takes self control.

When i let my true self out...Im a submissive woman...It is who I am. Im a real life nurse I have a half dozen kids and i am the text book of what feminists call the victim of society want to know a secret...Im not a victim I like it that way! I am a submissive woman. I give with every fiber of my body an endless well so to speak of giving ...and when i am with a true Dominant. I am refilled. I am his one even if it is just for that short period..I am his ONE. and that refills me. As a submissive woman that does not make me a doormat nor does it make me a victim it just makes me me. I accept things that i may not choose for myself...i accept them to be as they are.

However lurking deep within is that Dominant woman that one that holds the family together and teaches the world to sing so to speak. I also have an urge...granted it has recently been silenced again probably becasue my submissive needs are being met. But as a Dominant woman I feel powerful...which if you know me..i stand in at less than 5 foot...and am not what anyone would think is intimdating to look at....but just watch and you will see the difference in me. I give myself the permission to release the feelings that were surpressed to be a good girl...and Im anything but good. I have been known to be really not nice at all....and well. if nothing else i provide a good show! I strictly one night stand Domme. I do not have the patience for a Domme relationship. I have the patience to have riends that are male subs and play with them when the mood strikes me...actually them if you think about it....

but alas...this is My view on this particular subject...any questions feeel free to ask...but its just my way of looking at it....

_____________________________

people will forget what you said
they will forgive what you did
but they will never forget the way you made them feel

(in reply to slutsinlove)

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