SusanofO
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My question would be: What would be the goal of integration? Acceptance of this activity as a "legitimate" option that some majority of people don't find unacceptable? (That is probably a silly question, that is probably the goal, I imagine. I'm not being silly, just clarifying) I consider it legitimate whether a majority of other people do, or not - of course I know you do, too - just thought I'd reiterate that.
IMO, I think this issue is harder than dealing with racial issues, because people's sexual activities are less visible, and there isn't a strong argument (yet, as far as a lot of quantifiable research) that it's a biolgical or genetic drive for people engaged in it. If it really does seem to be an active part of the intimate lives in only about 10% of the population (as I've read it is) then IMO, there will always be a disparity, in that bdsmer's will never be considered a majority, probably.
Ideally, minorites are heard, and heard as a legitimate voice to be heard. In reality, sometimes the squeaky wheels (the majority) really do get the grease more often, sad to say, at the expense of a minority, that should at least be recognized as existing in the first place.
I think, bdsmer's are currently about where gays were in the early 1960's ,as far as visibility (but I base that partly on the awareness level of it in the conservative community, and part of the country, I live in)
Not that the fall-out isn't or wasn't worse as far as racial issues (it was, and can be IMO, but that's not the topic and I don't want to digress). There is certainly some fall-out for folks who want to be "out of the closet" as far as this stuff goes, and feel inhibited, and I can see why they'd feel that way. Media, neighbors, etc. can be extremely nosy and gossipy, and vile about it, too, sometimes (if not most of the time) just for something to do, or watch on tv, or have some "cause" to march on about.
I realize the above (how long it took for racial inequality issues to be addressed to a larger degree, as well as no quantifiable research that a desire for bdsm acitvity could be caused by a specific biological genetic drive) shouldn't make a difference, really, but it might be a factor, IMO, as far as how long it takes, for more of the general public to consider bdsm activity less as "something to be feared", as opposed to something to be either basically ignored, or somehow hailed as a legitimate option for people.
Because some people view it as an "illegitimate, or "bad" life choice", IMO, the way some view homosexuality as an illegitimate "choice" - and so, if it can be somehow "proven" to be not so much a choice, but a gentically driven desire, or even a need, so much the better.
Too bad, isn't it, that we can't just all make our own choices, and leave eachother alone to make them? (this is obviously a rhetorical question)
Even then, research proving there is some genetic drive for this activity could still be used against bdsmer's (remember the research, a couple of decades ago, that supposedly "proved" that certain males had an extra chromosome that made them more prone to be "Violent Psychopaths?" ...it proved unfounded, but was considered legit by many supposedly "in the know" for quite awhile (years).
I realize I am not being overly optimistic, here. But then again, if that kind of quantifiable, mostly irrefutable research is found and publicized, it could also definitely work in favor of making bdsm activity deemed by more of a majority of folks, to be acceptable - Eventually.
About the only thing I can imagine it will take is time. Time. Decades. Not a complete analogy, but it's been almost 40 years since the "Stonewall Riots" for gays, and they've made a lot of progress, but still don't have marital rights on par with straight people (but I see that as probably slowly changing).
I realize it isn't much consolation, BUT - everywhere, no matter what, there will exist some segment of the population that considers it their business, what others do in their most intimate moments.
I don't see them all that often, and they don't terrifically affect my personal life. I realize that is not the reason this kind of activity shouldn't be more able to be discussed openly, as a choice for folks, but I do find in it a small consolation.
I am of the feeling these people who make what bdsmer's do their business when it obviously isn't, very much deserve to be ignored, but I still do not announce my proclivities in their direction, because it:
1) Legitimizes their "concerns" to begin with
2) Underscores that they seem to think this "needs" to somehow be made a divisive issue when I don't, particularly
3) Have no doubt they can also be vindictive and cruel, if it they think it will serve their purposes. And I have no intention of being their "sacrifical lamb" so they can advance their goals (I don't want to debate this part, as it is a very personal choice, IMO).
Good topic. I have no real solutions or answers for you, and wish I did (except possibly more Activism, (which already takes place to some degree, and I which I actually would consider in my own less visible way) - but I do think it's a good topic.
- Susan
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/17/2007 4:23:23 AM >
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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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