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Weenie Dominants? - 5/25/2004 9:35:13 PM

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I have a question for everyone,

As I have been dealing with issues within the group I run lately. Alledged Dominants who cannot deal with submissives. Those who have to go running to the submissives Dominants because they are childish. Start a fight then can't handle it.

Yep, I know it happens here on collarme as well. It also happens in real life more often than not anymore it seems.

So, the question is. Are these people Dominant?

I have a theory. We are all multi tiered. In intellect, submission, Domination.

Hence, I may be submissive to my Dominant but I could also be Dominant to others. Who for whatever reason may be weaker than I am. That doesn't necessarily mean I would be their Dom..but could be if I had that desire.

What do you all think? Is it possible?

RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/25/2004 10:05:38 PM

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In my opinon I think if they are really Dominant they should be able to be civil instead of starting fights. It sounds childish to fight when there grown folks that are capable to express themselves as so.

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/25/2004 10:11:41 PM

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quote:

Hence, I may be submissive to my Dominant but I could also be Dominant to others. Who for whatever reason may be weaker than I am. That doesn't necessarily mean I would be their Dom..but could be if I had that desire.

Midear Gloria-

well, I'd take issue with the fact that you seem to equate dominance with strengh, and submission with weakness, But other than that, yes.

We all operate at various planes of status in the varied hierachies we interact within. Recently, I have had cuase to reflect that accepting a sorborninate role in an interaction often requires more discipline/strengh/maturity than operating in the superior role.

Still, it is a truism that one _cannot_ effectivly control the external unless one is in control of ones internal processes. For that matter, a submissive with a lack of self control is a poor submissive, too.

Perhaps the real root we are digging at is that to be a complete human, one must have a certain level of self control that I would as soon just call 'maturity'.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 12:27:18 AM

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I'd agree with Lawrence.

That being said ...

... I call those "weenie" types ... domlets.

*chortle*

~ShadeDiva

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 2:43:37 AM

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I think the issue here is two fold
one if you are addressing people
on a vanilla stage then its to be
accepted that people are to act
*adult and address the person
one has issues with HOWEVER
addressing people in a Lifestyle
that has a protical that states
that Dominant address other
Dominants concerning Their
posessions is where submissives
whom are a part of this phenominon
called the new guard online get
confused when they are not addressed
personally when a Dominant of the Old
Guard prefers to follow Proticals in place
according to set Lifestyle ways and tempt
to make it look as a weakness in their
tempt to water down the Proticals that
sum practice. Keep tempting to water
down and soon enough you will no longer
have a kink to express and hide in the closet.

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 9:49:44 AM

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Perhaps it's better than a dominant who is not YOUR dominant trying to order you around? I hear that kind of complaint a lot more often than the one you've got.

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 1:15:18 PM

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What scares me the most is that I agree with Dread.

If a Dominant has a problem with me, and he wishes to take it up with me, fine. If they choose to take it to Wolf as prorocol does dictate, that is fine too. Although Wolf usually asks first
What did you do to piss her off?

I don't see that as being "weenie". I see them behaving as the protocol they were taught dictates.

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 1:19:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Alledged Dominants who cannot deal with submissives. Those who have to go running to the submissives Dominants because they are childish. Start a fight then can't handle it.

<snip>

So, the question is. Are these people Dominant?

I'm having a tough time answering your question because I don't have a handle on what the Dominants have actually done. Can you elaborate?

January

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 1:31:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moleculor

Perhaps it's better than a dominant who is not YOUR dominant trying to order you around? I hear that kind of complaint a lot more often than the one you've got.

Actually they both run hand in hand. It usually is some other Dominant trying to order you around. When they find out they cannot. They run to the Dominant crying control your submissive. What do these people do when they find single submissives? Who do they run to then to control them? Or do they just bash them and try to make it so nobody would even talk to the submissive at all?

Wolfspet:
Only problem with that is most Domiants in today's society do not follow any certain protocal.

If you were here in California I could point out 6 people at my next munch who do not follow any protocal. Although they will also go running to Dominants asking and begging others to control the submissives.
The only people that I know who follow any type of protocal right now are the people who claim to be new old guard. Basically they follow it out here because they trade submissives.
If you're monogamous you are not in their little group.
Not to say, in other groups or areas it is different, I'm merely speaking of the people I tend to see the most.

January:
Basically what I am saying is, assume you are at a party. Somebody comes up behind you grabs you. Tells you to kneel. You don't know this person. They could be submissive for all you know or Dominant. Doesn't matter you don't know them.
When you do not comply they then tell you that you are not sub. Usually they cry out you are Dominant or a switch. When they find out you have a Dominant they tell them to control you. Like your Dominant is supposed to bend over backwords for this nobody. Just because you proclaim you are somebody does not mean you are.

So, what do you do?
Hopefully that clarified it enough.

I asked this question because within the group I run. A submissive came to me yesterday complaining about one of the dominants we have. It seems to be a growing majority and frankly I don't know how to handle it.

(in reply to Moleculor)

RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 2:02:07 PM

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quote:

Somebody comes up behind you grabs you.

I feel sorry for the individual who does that to one of my students. The preferred defense is to grab the testicles, squeeze as hard as possible, and pull.

Followed by an elbow or knee kick to the face.

Although Im sure there is somebody out there who has that as their kink.

Sinergy

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(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 3:50:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

January:
Basically what I am saying is, assume you are at a party. Somebody comes up behind you grabs you. Tells you to kneel. You don't know this person. They could be submissive for all you know or Dominant. Doesn't matter you don't know them.
When you do not comply they then tell you that you are not sub. Usually they cry out you are Dominant or a switch. When they find out you have a Dominant they tell them to control you. Like your Dominant is supposed to bend over backwords for this nobody. Just because you proclaim you are somebody does not mean you are.

So, what do you do?
Hopefully that clarified it enough.

I asked this question because within the group I run. A submissive came to me yesterday complaining about one of the dominants we have. It seems to be a growing majority and frankly I don't know how to handle it.

sub4hire,

Thanks for clarifying!

Absolutely horrible manners by the "doms", I what I think! Also a violation of SSC, IMO. What's consensual about grabbing someone who's not yours and ordering them to kneel?

What do you do?
Don't let the "doms" manipulate you or your Dominant by allowing them to play the "sub4hire's supposed to be submissive" card when you point out their lapse. You have to convince yourself your D/s position is completely irrelevant to this issue. I think the domliness of the"doms" is also a side issue. What's important is SSC. You tell them THE group abides by SSC, and that's that. If the "doms" don't like SSC play, they can go back to Cyber where ordering strangers to "kneel, bitch" is apparently acceptable because SSC doesn't exist in that medium.

January

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 5:15:59 PM

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Damn I'd punch them in the face for nonconsensually touching me and trying to force their domlet crap on me, and rip them a new asshole telling them kinda like this- hell yeah I'ma switch and just who the hell do you think you are by walking around like you own anything when you don't even own a CLUE about manners or social skills? And you expect me to *snort* respect a goofball that translates any female into being someone you can dominate?

And let them run their asses to my SO. He'll just laugh and tell them it's fine by him to chew on them for a while cuz they deserved it for being stupid enough to pick me as their mark, and that I'm fully in control *of myself* and that they were the ones that had no control for grossly overstepping their bounds with me and to reap what they sowed.

NO one and I mean NO one grabs me without being at severe risk of severe bodily injury (unless I know them very well and they know how comfy I amwith them - strangers aren't a good mix for me when it comes to dealing me any pain or grabbing me) - it's pure reflex and fully meant to aggressively defend and incapacitate. God forbid I am armed cuz the next thing that guy would know would be him on his back with a weapon at his throat or balls - or both. There is a very very good reason why I have to choose those who top or dominate me very very carefully and have very long and detailed discussions along with guidelines and know them VERY VERY well. Very few people will NOT get that reaction from me.

An idiot like that would get himself hurt. Or humiliated.

Personal space is called personal space for a reason.

Friendly hugs are one thing, strange dudes laying their hands on me especially from behind and commanding anything ought to expect a kneecap kicked out the backside of their leg - or worse.

~ShadeDiva

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 6:24:55 PM

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I feel for you Gloria. i was always taught that respect was given where it was deserved. No matter Dominant or submissive. These Doms you talk of don't sound very respectfull. Also that i submit to one not all. For only one has earned the right of my submission. Yes i said earned. The Master i am currently talking with would find offense at these other so-called Doms. Is it possible to get a general concensus of your group to see how they feel? Perhaps the offenders should be asked to leave the group?

Please let us know how it works out and good luck.

Attachment (1)

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 6:28:36 PM

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quote:

Those who have to go running to the submissives Dominants because they are childish

Dominants whom go to other Dominants
to discuss the behaviour of the Dominants
subs or slaves actions is actually being a
Dominant, if anyone desires to call this
Lifestyle Protical childish and wheenie
so be it but know there are Many whom
follow these long established proticals
and will look at thoses whom do not
follow them as simpletanna and bend
the rules for their own benifits and not
serious Lifestylers. Of course JMO

(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 6:41:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: feline
Is it possible to get a general concensus of your group to see how they feel?

Out of curiousity - where in California are you located?

This wouldn't be tolerated by the communities I know of.

~ShadeDiva

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 6:44:57 PM

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quote:

The preferred defense is to grab the testicles, squeeze as hard as possible, and pull.

M. Sinergy-

I'd think a hammerfist to the groin, coming up as an elbowstrike to the gut /sternum as you turn off the line would be a better bet- it can be hard to grab the testes 'blind'.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

< Message edited by topcat -- 5/26/2004 9:45:22 PM >

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 7:32:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat
it can be hard to grab the testes 'blind'.

Says you.

LOL

Most women have an unerring knack for pinpointing dem suckas.

~ShadeDiva

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 7:57:18 PM

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Well the elaboration takes a different tone than the original post.

With that added info..
If anyone were to grab me..
After extracting my nails from his throat, Wolf would probably handle the rest.

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 9:02:42 PM

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"Crying to dominants... ass grabbing... growing problem..."

Ok, paraphrased quote up there. Seems a bit much to quote the entire post.

Sounds like you need to rephrase your complaint. The problem is not dominants running to your dominant complaining about your behaviour, it's impolite, horny people without control over themselves (and therefore not all that 'dominant') trying to force their will on you and THEN going to your dominant. COMPLETELY different kettle of fish.

If you were... say... crawling all over me, or perhaps harrassing my (presently imaginary) submissive, or any number of other things, I'd first ask you to stop, and then if you didn't, go to your dominant. That is good. And -that- was what you sounded like you were complaining about. Legitimate complaints being handled in a polite way.

Instead it seems you're just complaining about HNGs in the real world. I'd suggest talking with whomever runs whatever group this is a part of, and if that doesn't solve things, find another group.

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RE: Weenie Dominants? - 5/26/2004 10:24:45 PM

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That kind of behavior would not be tolerated in any group I have ever belonged to either - I actually know of one case where a repeat offender was braced by a consortium of real Doms (and Dommes)and given a taste of his own medicine - he was taken down and then bound and given a 'spanking' (with paddles and crops and canes and singletails) while being lectured on civility and politeness to reinforce the notion in his pea brain that what he was doing was not acceptable in civilised lifestyle society - needless to say he never returned.

< Message edited by Thanatosian -- 5/27/2004 3:05:32 PM >

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