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RE: all expenses paid - 5/4/2005 5:55:00 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
To give you an example, I am acquainted with this man who is quite a wealthy and intelligent man who is curious about wiitwd and offered me a thousand dollar tribute for one hour of my time for domination, no sex required. He did however mention the kind of things he would like me to do (flogging, humiliation, etc). He just wants a one shot deal to see what it is about and would like to compensate me, like one would pay a tourguide he said. On the one hand, I figured that's a whole lot of money for one hour of work.
- LA

I wanted to comment on this the first time I saw it but got sidetracked.
My position with this gentleman would be: if I find I am attracted to him, and he is willing to be on call for when the mood strikes me, than I would fullfill his fantasies (provided they are things I enjoy doing anyway) at that time. If however he were unwilling to be available at my convenience, I'd bid him adieu and wish him luck. M


You see here is a little lesson I have learned the hard way...

Men (and at times women) will tell you that they will stick around, that they will be available at your convenience, etc. The reality is, I find that the ones that talk too much about this are usually the ones who bail first.

I find him semi-attractive. Not someone I would pick out in a crowd, but not bad neither. Personality counts for a lot in his case.

But the point is, I can't go through with it. Not for money. I'm sure many women could and that's sincerely just fine.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: all expenses paid - 5/4/2005 7:26:36 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel

M'Lady A

To myself, if I was the soul bread winner, then it is part of my service. It isn't a power thing, it isn't a control thing, it is simply something I would be required to do, therefore part of my submission.

If a Dominant is concerned about 'being indebt' to a person, then I would adivse against doing it. But if a Dominant can see it as part of the service they desire, then I would say, it is just as empowering as the Dominant owning their own income.



Very well put, dark~angel, and I completely agree. Unfortunately most of the boys don't!
My housemate, another Domina, actually had a boy write to Her stating that the fact that She would control all future income (She was not even referring to his assets already accrued), was too "extreme" for him. Yet he identifies as a male slave and begs to be owned. After he is done pleading to be owned in his profile, one goes on to read his journal entries which complain about money, over and over. This is the only reason it came up.
you understand the meaning of service and what you are willing (obligated) to do for your Master if He so commands. Most of the boys do not even begin to comprehend that the financial aspects of slavery do count.
I have seen this matter decimated on these boards. When money comes into the picture, it is the same old patriarchal standard. If you have a boy's money, he is entitled to equal domination (play) for said funds. It is the mindset of 99% of them, and I don't think it is going to change.


_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: all expenses paid - 5/4/2005 7:56:37 PM   
BladeRunnerX


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		I was approached with that same offer, by the same person I am pretty sure. At least those same words were used.

I don't even believe any offer like that which is made through email to a stranger basically. I don't trust people who throw around words and commitments that casually.

I would say, with any such offer, to evaluate the rest of the communication. Did he ask questions about you, or offer much information about himself? Did he appear to have thoroughly read your profile and sincerely be seeking you as an individual? I think if not, then it's kind of the equivalent of trawling. Just send out this message to lots of Dommes, see if you get any bites.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: all expenses paid - 5/4/2005 9:05:24 PM   
GentleLady


Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

GL - the fact that you are in control of the money makes your situation a world appart from what we have been "offered" in the past ... but obviously that is a good thing. It's great that you have him, even if you don't get to see him often (our boy is on the road all the time ... we get to see him for maybe one or two days a week :( ). We have a lot of the same issues with playtime - one or more of us not feeling up to it when he's actually home. Especially with me working evenings while Holly works days and the boy is very much a day person. Hopefully you will be feeling better soon so that you and your boy can have more fun together (and that is meant in general, not in a sexual/playtime way).

Thank you SweetDommes.

One of the points I was trying to make was that the only reason I can tolerate being supported by My submissive is because I am in charge of the finances. he considers the money to be Mine. I consider it to be his with Me having the right of using it for our benefit. When I return to the work force My salary will be going into the joint finances as far as I am concerned with some set aside in a personal account for Myself. his attitude however is that any money I make is Mine and is not to be used for household expenses. he needs to feel that he can support us himself and I respect that need and understand where it is coming from. By the same token, I need to know that I am not financially dependent on him or anyone else for My own peace of mind.

Gentle Lady

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: all expenses paid - 6/20/2005 2:29:58 PM   
asissyforher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

So here is an interesting little thing that happened to me today. Btw, this is not a rant ;)

I got a note from a submissive male that offered me all expense paid relocation and offered to support me. His words exactly were “I am looking for some one to settle with, a home base for you. I would provide for everyday expenses and you could pursue whatever you want to outside of that and I would help you.”

Now I’m going to give this man the benefit of the doubt and assume that he is sincere. I did not post his words to mock him, but rather to present a scenario to you all. Because what first flashed in my mind was an issue of power balance.

I often see “all expenses paid” type offers on male Dom profiles and I guess that fits the bill of “owning” to a certain point. But if a sub were to support me financially, wouldn’t he own me? I’m not insisting that he would. I’m throwing the question out there for your thoughts.

- LA

quote:

I’m throwing the question out there for your thoughts.

- LA


no. "i' gave my 1st domme $50,000 to make HER happy out of decdication and honor.
i say no.


_____________________________

"still looking for a real life domme..no more plastic wannabes for me"

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: all expenses paid - 6/20/2005 2:50:16 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asissyforher
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
I’m throwing the question out there for your thoughts.

no. "i' gave my 1st domme $50,000 to make HER happy out of decdication and honor.
i say no.

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying *no* to.

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to asissyforher)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: all expenses paid - 6/20/2005 9:20:13 PM   
AnnaB


Posts: 12
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, I agree that to some extent, if We are financially supported by our slave without anything we have, then we are dependent to him and I don't think it's healthy for a Femdom relationship. There should be an arrangement in the first place concerning that.

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: all expenses paid - 6/20/2005 11:57:39 PM   
asissyforher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: asissyforher
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
I’m throwing the question out there for your thoughts.

no. "i' gave my 1st domme $50,000 to make HER happy out of decdication and honor.
i say no.

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying *no* to.

- LA


quote:

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying *no* to.



oh me oh my. i went to the link to ask-a-mistress and it is posted that a guy offered a domme to pay all her bills etc etc and take care of her etc etc.....SO she asks does it mean he would expect to OWN..Her...so "I" said NO.......coz "I" gave MY 1st MS $50k out of dedication.....


_____________________________

"still looking for a real life domme..no more plastic wannabes for me"

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: all expenses paid - 6/21/2005 12:03:23 AM   
asissyforher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline


quote:

If you have a boy's money, he is entitled to equal domination (play) for said funds. It is the mindset of 99% of them, and I don't think it is going to change.


and THIS is the part "I" do not grasp.
equal domination? do what? say that again slower? i have always given up all my money as part of my submission and i ask for nothing in return for my domestic services. if i get a smile i count myself lucky.

this makes zero sense to me.. i'm sorry.
hell--i say it over and over and over........i gave up $50k and didn't get anything out of it..didnt expect to. i do what i do out of dedication, duty, honor, and total submission.

am i the ONLY male left alive that does this?>


_____________________________

"still looking for a real life domme..no more plastic wannabes for me"

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: all expenses paid - 6/21/2005 12:33:51 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Yeah, you have said repeatedly that you gave up 50K ... you harp on it ... you bitch about it ... I'm sorry, but the way that you bring it up, and the regularity with which you bring it up belies the fact that you "didn't expect to [get anything out of it]"

And your other post about "your rules/your submission" (a rather substantial paradox, btw) calls into question whether or not you really "do what [you] do out of dedication, duty, honor, and total submission."

I am not saying this to be a bitch, I am not saying this to run you off, I am not saying this to make you "quit" as you declared somewhere else ... I'm trying to understand who you really are and what you are really looking for, as I seriously doubt that I am the only one who is thoroughly confused by you on a regular basis.

(in reply to asissyforher)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: all expenses paid - 6/21/2005 12:40:37 AM   
Severin1


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		To me its perfectly natural that a male sub should pay for his Mistress regardless of her pro or amatuer status. $50,000 does seem excessive but if he fool enough filled with wank fantasy to give it she should take it without a second glance. For a sub to pay anything does not imply ownership and in fact his humiliation should be made greater by the fact that he is so ready to part with his money.

Severin1

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: all expenses paid - 6/21/2005 1:30:13 AM   
asissyforher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Yeah, you have said repeatedly that you gave up 50K ... you harp on it ... you bitch about it ... I'm sorry, but the way that you bring it up, and the regularity with which you bring it up belies the fact that you "didn't expect to [get anything out of it]"

And your other post about "your rules/your submission" (a rather substantial paradox, btw) calls into question whether or not you really "do what [you] do out of dedication, duty, honor, and total submission."

I am not saying this to be a bitch, I am not saying this to run you off, I am not saying this to make you "quit" as you declared somewhere else ... I'm trying to understand who you really are and what you are really looking for, as I seriously doubt that I am the only one who is thoroughly confused by you on a regular basis.




quote:

I'm trying to understand who you really are and what you are really looking for, as I seriously doubt that I am the only one who is thoroughly confused by you on a regular basis.

===========
ah well. i had 3 wives that were confused too. so tell me what i dont know. i am PROUD i helped my 1st Ms but if it bothers so many people coz "I" am honest and wont lie......
ah well..it happens. i have never been a subcriber to popularity contests. and am not starting now.
i am what i am. 150% dedicated.........i give my all til it hurts. and the next post after this said something about humiliation?.....i know the term but never experienced it.
but so much of this lifestyle i do not know anyway. i am SERVICE! not sex/not romance love/ and so far no play.

so i dont live in YOUR world. not MY doing!





< Message edited by asissyforher -- 6/21/2005 1:31:23 AM >

_____________________________

"still looking for a real life domme..no more plastic wannabes for me"

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: all expenses paid - 7/6/2005 7:29:01 PM   
MissLeona71


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline 		My slave and I got married and now everything is joint. Though I am in charge of finanacial decisions and he has a card for gas and neccessitys. he has to approve everything else through Me. It works for U/us since he needs this level of submission. I also added him to My accounts which are with a different credit union. I think it is whatever makes both of Y/you happy and in the end that is all that counts.

_____________________________

www.his-enslavement.com

(in reply to asissyforher)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: all expenses paid - 7/6/2005 8:16:39 PM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		In vanilla relationships do you hand over all control, all assests to your bf/gf after two months of dating. So why should people hand over all control after becoming a slave to someone they met maybe a few months earlier?

There are so many conman out there it is not funny. Some people have said the slaves are wealthy people with high paying jobs. That means they are educated and know the risks.

A Dominant will say "well its a sign of trust". Well what makes you so trustworthy? In that theory I could go out to a Submissive and say " I'm a dominant. Now hand over all assests you worked long and hard for".

Someone attractive could sweet talk a rich submissive, tell he/she what they want to hear, then start taking over all the money and buying whatever the hell they want.

Be realistic people.

< Message edited by imtempting -- 7/6/2005 8:17:33 PM >

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: all expenses paid - 7/6/2005 11:08:26 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissLeona71
My slave and I got married and now everything is joint. Though I am in charge of finanacial decisions and he has a card for gas and neccessitys. he has to approve everything else through Me. It works for U/us since he needs this level of submission. I also added him to My accounts which are with a different credit union. I think it is whatever makes both of Y/you happy and in the end that is all that counts.

Wonderful for you. Good to know you have a great working relationship which includes his financial submission.
Welcome to the boards.. M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MissLeona71)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: all expenses paid - 7/7/2005 4:16:02 AM   
TiNeedsHouseboy


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Big Apple blossom blown to The Windy City
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ManOwner

Mind you this is not legal advice, but I've been thinking that a revocable living trust with the Domme as the trustee and both Domme and sub as beneficiaries would probably be ideal.


I would certainly do this in a long-term, committed relationship. Otherwise, Suzy Orman would likely beat me with a stick! <grins>

Still, the critical term to keep in mind is REVOKABLE. If a guy is signing over all his assets to me, what's to stop him from revoking that decision if he decides I don't meet or exceed his fantasy of the moment?

I gotta second Akasha's notions about money and control. I would never feel comfortable allowing a guy -- no matter how submissive -- to be my exclusive financial backer.

I've had offers from guys wanting to be my money slave. Inherent to those offers were always a built-in notion of "I'll give you my money. In return, I expect you to do such and such." I don't need the headaches of do-me subs' power manipulations, using money as bait.

~ Ti ~

(in reply to ManOwner)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: all expenses paid - 7/7/2005 4:19:33 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

In vanilla relationships do you hand over all control, all assests to your bf/gf after two months of dating. So why should people hand over all control after becoming a slave to someone they met maybe a few months earlier?


My parents are not D/s. Not even remotely. My father had his areas of authority, my mom hers. They have a great partnership.

The whole time I was growing up, my dad handed his paycheck over to my mother who made the financial decisions and then she told him what was their flexible balance for the next two weeks. They discussed major purchases as a team (except for when my mom and I would sneak out shopping and we had to tiptoe in with tons of bags <weg>) and make major financial decisions as a team.

I, myself, would never care to deal with someone else's finances. In fact, I'm considering the services of an accountant at the moment. So if I had a boy that wanted me to control his finances, it would be my account's job! Woo hoo. Two servants ;)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: all expenses paid - 7/7/2005 4:34:22 AM   
TiNeedsHouseboy


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/24/2005
From: Big Apple blossom blown to The Windy City
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

I'm considering the services of an accountant at the moment. So if I had a boy that wanted me to control his finances, it would be my account's job! Woo hoo. Two servants ;)

- LA


I gather from the emoticon that you're not serious about it being your accountant's job.... At least, I hope you're not serious.

You are aware that turning over money to an accountant, and never self-auditing the books regularly, is the quickest way to have your money skimmed off the top, pilfered, bilked, etc.?!?!?!

It doesn’t matter how well you know the accountant, or how much you trust him. You must self-audit. Otherwise, you may well land in court fighting to get back your own money.

~ Ti ~

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: all expenses paid - 7/7/2005 4:45:21 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

I, myself, would never care to deal with someone else's finances. In fact, I'm considering the services of an accountant at the moment. So if I had a boy that wanted me to control his finances, it would be my account's job! Woo hoo. Two servants ;)


Save your money.

If you put just a tenth of the emphasis into your personal finances that you put into this message board, you wouldn't even think about needing an accountant - And don't take that as dig ; }

Accountants are for tax returns and folks who are totally incapable of handling their own finances - I have faith in you.


- The Ranger

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 79
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