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Being Honest - 5/26/2004 11:02:15 AM

GoddessMarissa

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Since the last thread that I became the topic of has brought up alot of different emotions for me. When I made a statement about escorts in BDSM I was totally honest about how I felt. Being a former in many areas I tend to be more critical because I no longer live that way and know the difference. I dont feel like going into details I sure we already know. Mabey I dont want to air any skeletons that I might have had to any and everyone for certain reasons. I felt expossed, embarassed, and hurt. I have been stuffing alot for a long time and I feel I should get this out of the way so it can help me get over feelings of guilt & shame. I feel that I have no reason to lie to anyone, but I also feel that I dont have to tell everyone everything either. I have made many misstakes in the past that still embarass me, but I would never change anything that has ever happened to me because I'm living life to the fullest happly with my 2 beautiful boys. I feel everyone goes through certain things in there life for a reason, and nothing is a mistake as long as you learn from it. I have delt with many, from sain to crazy and came close to death many times because I didn't listen to myself. Today is a different story, from experience I have learned to follow my instincts. I have said many times I do enjoy sharing and learning and intend to stick around. Well thats just a little about me....whewww......that felt better.

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RE: Being Honest - 5/26/2004 3:15:21 PM

Estring

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Great job Marissa. Honesty is always appreciated. You have shown what you are made of.

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RE: Being Honest - 5/26/2004 8:43:34 PM

yeehaw

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Nothing...nothing rivals honesty to yourself when no one's looking and you're all alone with life on it's cold terms.

To say it openly though, damn that is courage, and that is humility because you admit what you learned and how bad it can rip you apart sometimes.

Your post is....human.

Your sons are lucky.

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RE: Being Honest - 5/26/2004 9:17:02 PM

ShadeDiva

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*smile*

It's always a TON harder to take that first step than it turns out being after you have done it.

I said I'd be behind you if you decided to take that step, and I for one, think you are AWESOME for doing it!

I think you will find much as I said, that the people that you want around you won't care nor judge you for your past as long as YOU don't judge yourself and deny who you are - who you ARE is a wonderful thing, how you GOT there is merely a part of the story, it isn't the conclusion by ANY means. Anyone that takes your honesty and judges you for it isn't worth your energy or your time.

I agree with EStrict, but I'd already told ya that in private *smile* I think you have wonderful qualities and a wonderful mind - being true to yourself just makes you even more likeable and as yeehaw said, human.

You have really inspired me, I'd like you to know that - and I meant every word of what I said in private, and I just think it's REALLY REALLY cool and awesome of you to take that step and say... this is me!

Bravo bravo bravo!

I wish I saw more of what I've seen in you the last few days in other humans on this planet. And I don't think you have a thing to be ashamed about if this is the kind of human you've grown into and as I said, I think that I'm NOT the only one that will feel that way, and I do believe this board will show you that - and in spades.

There's a lot of good people here, and yeah, I think you are one of them, maybe honesty is way too big a thing for me, I'd pretty damn diehard about it, and that may indeed be a flaw. But I'm VERY glad that you took that step, you ROCK!

And thank you also, for being receptive to what I had to babble about. *smile* Not everyone will hear that kind of stuff, and you really did just now, show what kind of a person you are. I agree with the two above posts 100% in every way.

And I know you will get a bunch more posts saying the same exact thing and supporting you 100%!

Thank you again. Honestly.

~ShadeDiva

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RE: Being Honest - 5/26/2004 9:25:59 PM

ShadeDiva

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P.S.

I apologized to you already privately, but I kinda think it's due in public as well - I wasn't trying to embarrass nor hurt you - but well as we talked about at length, for me honesty os a HUGE deal, and so I reacted in regard to that. I did and do feel bad that you went through that exposed feeling, I've been there, and yeah though I needed it as it was a catalyst for my to grow and start changing my perspective, it's still mighty umcomfy no matter what - and for that - I am sorry.

You received my thoughts with an open mind and an open heart - considering the circumstances, I think that was pretty damn awesome. You deserve to hear that in public, I think. You took a gamble and a risk, and opened up to me, and yanno that took guts I think, and I applaud that too.

If I can ever help you work through that stuffing (I've done more than my share over the years LOL!), or you just need an ear - I'm here.

I'm glad that we were able to communicate in a sincere and genuine way, and that is in a large part due to your ability to be open, that's an amazing thing to be, really.

I dunno, I just am giddy and floored and really jazzed for you, *smile*

OKokok

I'll stop being all sappy and shit now. lol

~ShadeDiva

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RE: Being Honest - 5/26/2004 10:07:34 PM

GoddessMarissa

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Thank you all for your supporting posts, I do feel better.

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RE: Being Honest - 5/26/2004 10:21:08 PM

proudsub

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I'm glad everything got cleared up, good posts GoddessMarissa and ShadeDiva. You both have my respect.

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RE: Being Honest - 5/27/2004 5:09:13 AM

MizSuz

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Marissa:

I personally could care less about your past. In the here-and-now I have seen you be quite openly human. I've seen you judge someone and then step back, reevaluate and apologize (without hesitation). THAT impressed the hell out of me. I see this post/thread here as a continuation of what you have already shown me - that you have high standards for yourself.

I wouldn't care if you were STILL an escort, you conduct yourself honorably and that is good enough for me!

BZs to you, luv. You've already shined brightly during the important parts.

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RE: Being Honest - 5/27/2004 6:29:19 AM

rain

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GM: it takes a strong person to not only be honest with themselves, but, (as others have mentioned) to do that publicly is brave.

Kudos to you!

Best wishes,

~rain~

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RE: Being Honest - 5/27/2004 7:25:30 AM

LadyBeckett

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I just said in an email this morning that I am pretty much in the moment at any given moment, lol, and in this moment I am recalling a conversation I had with Shade not long ago in email when I told her that I was impressed with the fact that you didn't bolt when she said what she did to you. That really did speak volumes about you, and where you are in the here and now.

We all have things we don't want to post about ourselves. (No, I don't have six toes!!). lol Frankly, most folks don't want to know that stuff anyway. We'd all be sitting around crying together...*sniff* pass the puffs, please.

Although, on the other side of that, someone is going to read that, may be where you were, or in a similar situation, and seek you out for advice on how to move forward out of that situation. Then hit Shade up for some legal advice.

Here we are...one big happy family!

So who's cooking breakfast???

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RE: Being Honest - 5/27/2004 9:50:01 AM

proudsub

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quote:

So who's cooking breakfast???

I will, love to serve all you Doms/Dommes if you don't mind South Beach food--how about a nice omelette with cheese, mushrooms and spinach?

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RE: Being Honest - 5/29/2004 12:32:35 AM

GoddessMarissa

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Sounds healthy and yummy, your Dom is lucky.

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RE: Being Honest - 6/1/2004 12:31:25 AM

ShadeDiva

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Just for the record, hehehe, I don't have an issue with someone being an escort, I have friends that are in fact.

It's their choice, their lives, more power to them.

But I value the fact that they are honest about it with me and others.

And yeah I have to agree, and I did say it to Marissa in private, but she deserves to hear it publically too - I wasn't happy about the entire thing at ALL - I really liked her, and I had a lot of sadness about it, ALL of it, - I really wanted to get to know her better, she has a bright spark, and a wonderful mind, and just a nice personality, and I felt very sad that my whole hangup on knowing the REAL person and knowing they are really being *them* was gonna prevent me from doing that.

And I admitted, that perhaps that was MY flaw, but it was one that I just seem to need. All I know is that ... Marissa, you rock, and you really make me just smile.

Thanks again, for allowing me to see a part of you that you weren't really comfy showing. It did mean a lot.

~ShadeDiva

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RE: Being Honest - 6/1/2004 12:58:19 AM

GoddessMarissa

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Liked? lol I think I know what you ment. I am not an escort anymore but I have felt it has given me alot more experience and also makes me a better Domme today. Think you for expressing your thoughts and personall experiences to me, it made me feel much better and more human. I dont feel bad anymore, actually it was a learning experience for me and helped me to grow and love myself much more.

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