RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom? - 4/23/2007 2:54:43 PM

Casie

Posts: 450
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

I don't correlate, someones. attractiveness to their ablity to be a dom/domme. However I think most people don't generally enjoy playing with someone whom they have no physical attraction to.

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom? - 4/23/2007 2:58:18 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Do you feel a dominant woman must be pretty to be dominant? (not to get into a debate over measurement of beauty since it's subjective; but pretty *to you*)

Akasha

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom? - 4/23/2007 7:08:49 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

Speaking from the POVof a FemDom, I have been turned down, even prior to meeting. The reasons have been that I drive a Nissan rather than a Lexus or a Caddy, that I prefer a smaller, yet comfortable home rather than a huge property, and My closet is not filled with leather corsets and 6 inch, stiletto heeled thigh-high, boots.
*Shrug*
In that sense, I have had more than one personal experience regarding stereotypical expectations, and I failed!

Go figure, especially when I know that quite a few dommes (including myself) think you are one of the most "dommely dominas"(a new phrase I think, lol) that is out there, and hold your opinions in high esteem.

*shrugs* that was the sub's loss, smiles.........

edited to add: I thought I was going to get my third paddle on your post, but I guess I have one to go, lol.

< Message edited by kc692 -- 4/23/2007 7:09:46 PM >

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom? - 4/23/2007 7:28:48 PM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

What about a person's physical appearance or demeanor caused conflicts with you when you felt that online it was working, but in person it didn't?

Do you feel a dominant woman must be pretty to be dominant? (not to get into a debate over measurement of beauty since it's subjective; but pretty *to you*)

Akasha

I had a submissive friend who shared the reverse point of view. He gained some erotic value from submitting to a woman he was really not attracted to! It was exciting to him, I think because he knew it was really all about the submission, not about sex or physical attraction. Also, maybe there was some humiliation in submission to an unattractive Domme.

Smythe

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to AAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom? - 4/23/2007 7:38:02 PM

Mustardseed

Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline

Hmm. I suppose that looks have something to do with it. There's a certain ... swagger that comes from certain butches and men that can make me swoon. I've yet to meet a femdom who I've felt that with, no matter how conventionally beautiful, technically proficient or whatever they've been. Granted, there are male and butch tops and doms for whom that is true as well.

Granted, if someone is going to be handling parts of my body that I reserve for lovers, I'd like to be attracted to them on some level. But since the ability to have what I would consider to be interesting conversation with them before and afterward can easily take up more than 50% of my attractiveness judgement.

Not being considered *something* enough to be a femdom is one thing. However, when that judgement is applied to looks, I tend to change the statement to "not being considered *something* enough to be THEIR femdom."

< Message edited by Mustardseed -- 4/23/2007 7:40:25 PM >

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom? - 4/23/2007 7:39:16 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

No. In fact, I know of a self-professed dyke who gives off one of the strongest 'dom' vibes I've ever felt. It's like everyone else around her naturally follows her orders. Like others have expressed, I wouldn't choose to become involved with someone that I am not physically attracted to.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to Smythe)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom? - 4/23/2007 7:39:37 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

I had a submissive friend who shared the reverse point of view. He gained some erotic value from submitting to a woman he was really not attracted to! It was exciting to him, I think because he knew it was really all about the submission, not about sex or physical attraction. Also, maybe there was some humiliation in submission to an unattractive Domme.

Smythe

I'm curious - did he tell the domme that he was submitting to that he found her unattractive and what it did for him?

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Smythe)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom? - 4/23/2007 8:22:23 PM

MadameButterfly

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

The laws and powers of attraction are as unique as our finger prints. It is a matter of being comfortable with yourself rather than what others expect of you. That translates whether you are a Top/Dominant or a bottom/sub/slave. It comes down to self confidence.. self esteem... self image... there is no such thing as pretty enough... at least I do not think so... it is a matter of knowing yourself and accepting yourself.

Sure it would be great to have boys and girls fawning all over me... do I want that... HELL NO! To exhausting.

I like who I am ... I like what I am about... and at the end of the day it is Me that has to look myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see.

Always, Madame Butterfly “How does one become a butterfly?" she asked. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Not pretty enough to be a femdom? - 4/24/2007 7:31:33 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou

I've met people i found physically attractive based on pics/webcam, but then when we met there was no "spark". I tend to stay friends with these people, and we both agree the chemistry is just not there. I've also felt that chemistry with people i didn't particularly find physically attractive based on a photo. To me it is the feeding off each others interest and energy that does it for me.

Another suggestion to avoid the creep factor....no mug shots and no wedding photos....

This is one of the down sides to meeting people online.

If I went by physical appearance I would have never had my Faith for 18 months and I would have missed one of the best Ds and SM relationships I've ever had. He was not my type physically but emotionally and in terms of serious approach to his service, he was wonderful. I can honestly say that nine years later I still miss him.

Some people send me emails saying they think I'm beautiful or cute or other things; a few have sent me an email saying I'm ugly and fat.

*shrug* Whatever.

I'm not the best judge of myself in these matters. The people whose opinions I honestly should care about are my partners (my husband and my slave currently) and myself.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

Profile

Post #: 29