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How often do you switch? - 4/23/2007 9:25:14 AM

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If you are in a committed relationship, how much of your time is top, and how much bottom. If you are not, and you are with another switch, what tends to be the instigating factor? Do you switch within the evening, or keep the roles for the duration?

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RE: How often do you switch? - 4/23/2007 11:55:18 AM

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To be honest it depends on my mood, i cant tell you how many times i switch.. in my everyday life style we both make comments suggesting dominance over one another.. my boyfriend however is a compleat dominate so i try and yeild at least during part of the time. you can also switch in one night. it also helps that im a sadist and a masocast.

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RE: How often do you switch? - 4/23/2007 12:55:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9
If you are in a committed relationship, how much of your time is top, and how much bottom.

I have no idea- "enough"

quote:

If you are not, and you are with another switch, what tends to be the instigating factor?

Where the energy flows

quote:

Do you switch within the evening, or keep the roles for the duration?

We go with the energy- though it rarely stays for more than a week at a time.

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RE: How often do you switch? - 4/23/2007 2:58:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

If you are in a committed relationship, how much of your time is top, and how much bottom.

It really depends. I guess I'm top more in the day to day things; but it really just goes with what is happening in our lives.

quote:

If you are not, and you are with another switch, what tends to be the instigating factor?

Me, I'm the instigating factor. Most of the time. Again it's a mood thing.

quote:

Do you switch within the evening, or keep the roles for the duration?

We've done both. I like switching in the "evening," I normally start as the top and he ends as the top. But it really goes with our moods.

:)

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RE: How often do you switch? - 4/24/2007 6:28:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9
If you are in a committed relationship, how much of your time is top, and how much bottom. If you are not, and you are with another switch, what tends to be the instigating factor? Do you switch within the evening, or keep the roles for the duration?

I am in a committed relationship with a Dom. We do not have a 24/7 dynamic. We did in the past and might in the future but for now, we do not. When we are 24/7 I am always his sub. As it is, I am in the bottom role when we play at parties or when we play at home. On average, 1 or 2 days a month I play as a bottom. Length of scene depends on him. Same goes for topping...because I play about as often at home with my subs as he plays at home with me, and play at the same parties as a top.
I am not with another switch.
I do switch within an evening. I will bottom for Sir and then Top someone else, or vice versa. I have also stated before a party "I'd like to go with you as two Dom/mes.." and "I'd like to be your sub all evening." It depends on how I am feeling and how long it has been since I had a particular desire met (getting to serve him, getting to be evil sadistic, getting to co-top with him, etc). It also depends on who will be at a party and whether I've been asked pre-party to play with anyone.

~E

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RE: How often do you switch? - 4/24/2007 6:34:00 PM

ArchangelMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

If you are in a committed relationship, how much of your time is top, and how much bottom. If you are not, and you are with another switch, what tends to be the instigating factor? Do you switch within the evening, or keep the roles for the duration?

Most of my commited relationships involved me being either Domiant all the time or submisive all the time. The few I've had that were not D/s oriented, but still kinky that involved me switching as the mood came over me and/or my partner. For me, the role depends on what my partner inspires within me.

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RE: How often do you switch? - 4/26/2007 8:01:54 PM

arayofsunshine55

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We are committed to each other. We do not switch. He leads and I follow gleefully usually. With other guys I lead and they follow. I have never switched with one person. But think it might be fun.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: How often do you switch? - 5/8/2007 5:38:06 PM

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I switch so often and so damn fast that only very special people can even tell that it happened...

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RE: How often do you switch? - 5/10/2007 9:54:23 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kitte9

If you are in a committed relationship, how much of your time is top, and how much bottom. If you are not, and you are with another switch, what tends to be the instigating factor? Do you switch within the evening, or keep the roles for the duration?

I am in a committed relationship. Within that relationship, I am 100% on the bottom. Outside of that relationship, I am 100% on top.

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RE: How often do you switch? - 5/10/2007 11:06:10 PM

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I tried switching once back in 1980 to allow my slave/husband to fullfill a dream. I'll never do it again.

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RE: How often do you switch? - 5/18/2007 1:16:02 AM

arayofsunshine55

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In my committed relationship I always surrender to me in our way. In the relationship I seek I am open to a mixture of things with the "right" guy. I'm a flexible and pragmatic bitch.

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Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Kitte9)

RE: How often do you switch? - 5/18/2007 2:15:44 AM

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95% of the time, I run 95% of the scene. Occasionally, My Pet will give in to primal urge and take over, which I allow (sometimes). Sometimes she only wants a minute or two of dominance, which I can give and take away. Overall, I am her owner, but she has the ability to change it... If she gets the sand to challenge the alpha male.

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RE: How often do you switch? - 5/18/2007 8:53:52 PM

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quote:

I'm a flexible and pragmatic bitch.

Always good to know yourself.

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RE: How often do you switch? - 5/18/2007 11:43:35 PM

JpnsTigerrrlily

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Short answer: Whenever I feel like it. :)

Long answer: For me the other person normally pushes a button in me. Most people's energy either brings a neutral or Dominant energy from me. With a very small few their energy pushes a submissive button in me...an even smaller number have energy that pushes both. :)

(in reply to Kitte9)

RE: How often do you switch? - 5/26/2007 3:12:21 PM

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he is dominant 98 percent of the time..when he feels like letting me domme him, he tells me lol. or if i put on my 8' heels he tends to get on his knee's lol..........but pretty much he is always the dom and "lets" me domme him when he wants it...lol

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RE: How often do you switch? - 5/28/2007 9:33:50 AM

SpikeySwitch124

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Having recently begun a relationship with a lovely young lady who originally identified herself as a sub but as we talked turned out to be a switch, I find this question very familiar.

For myself, I find that I'm expected to Top her for most of the time, sometimes she will get quite unhappy at hints of submisison from me. I find that I'm not being Topped myself as much as I'd like, as I want to get more experience with this aspect of myself, which is largely unexplored.

When she does Top, it's not for a long period of time, and she gets drained quite quickly. She does enjoy it, though. Whereas I can keep her feeling submissive for longer periods of time, quite happily for both of us. It seems to be the default of our relationship that I'm the Top most of the time.

If you'd asked me before I met her, I'd have told you that that was exactly what I wanted. I probably still would. But I get frustrated when I get submissive moods and she doesn't respond to them or worse gets annoyed with me for being submissive when she wants me to be Dominant.

It can be quite confusing, but then we're still in the very early stages and I'm sure it will settle down, find its own level and everything will be fine.

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