Age old question (Full Version)

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Owned1 -> Age old question (4/24/2007 11:01:09 AM)

I know this has been asked before however it is one of those questions that come up often and who knows what new answers we may find.

My question is,  what do you do in your relationship to keep the Kink alive on a day to day basis.  This is more directed to those in a live in 24/7 relationship with all the trappings of life, kids (specifically teenagers) bills, work, family responsiblities (aging parents etc) and all the other things that take up time.

I am looking forward to hearing from others and how creative they are to keep the power exchange and ownership alive.

Thanks in advance for any and all replies.

Owned



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 11:06:54 AM)

Make time for it and make it nearly sacred.  You don't have to label it "kinky time" just "us being totally intimate together time"

And always be exploring new things together in LIFE- concerts, events, movies, going out together and seeing other new things in the world will reflect and keep YOU in the mindset of growth vs stagnation.



BootBlackBlast -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 11:07:09 AM)

With my partner it's through innuendo, text messages, and e-mails. I'll forward conversations from CM and my mailling lists to her and she'll do the same. The text message game will go back and forth until one of us can't handle it anymore.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 11:58:40 AM)

this is a cool link.

dont hope...decide!



Asraii -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 12:01:52 PM)

When I was in a relationship, we did not do anything specific to keep the 'kink' alive. The dynamic was there 24/7 even through the raising of kids, paying of bills, etc, etc.



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 12:12:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Make time for it and make it nearly sacred.  You don't have to label it "kinky time" just "us being totally intimate together time"

And always be exploring new things together in LIFE- concerts, events, movies, going out together and seeing other new things in the world will reflect and keep YOU in the mindset of growth vs stagnation.


Excellent advice.



sunfleur -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 12:49:11 PM)

for me the 'feeling' kind of comes and goes at different times.  i may go for a week or two with no desire to play.. and then.. BOOM.. i need it constantly.  go figure. lol 



Littlepita -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 1:44:45 PM)

We grab time for "kink" when we can. Sometimes that is 10 minutes in bed on a Sunday morning or an hour here or there. We have VERY busy lives and there is always something that needs to be done. However, we feel taking "Us" time is vital to our relationship and what we want out of D/s.



Owned1 -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 5:19:30 PM)

Thanks to those who have taken the time to reply.  To further clarify, by kink I simply meant the M/s D/s (whichever term you use) feeling alive.  Are there looks, tones, tasks that you each use that only you each know the meaning of?

Is there a ritual, hourly, daily, weekly that you may perform.  Is there a mantra you recite?

I am always curious as to how others keep the feelings alive without letting them get buried in the drudges of life?

Owned

~~edited to identify not in response to any one poster, simply a further thought in the post.~~



spanklette -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 5:30:14 PM)

Often, our schedules are completely opposite, so during the week, all we get to do is watch eadh other sleep. The weekends, however, we get out of the house. We tend to focus less on the "kink" and more on us. I have found that D/s exerts itself in many ways. Inside jokes, "the look", and any number of things keeps it alive.
 
It doesn't matter what everyone else sees on the outside, it matters what you feel on the inside.



Elorin -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 7:22:43 PM)

I've tried many things to keep kink alive. It is very alive for me, as I think of ways I can serve him and be useful to him, think of lots of things related to him daily.

I know he thinks of many things, but I have not found a way that we can interact and feel the power exchange engage on a daily basis. Without some evidence that ~he~ is thinking of it daily, I feel one sided.

In the past we had a ritual that kept things very strong for me, but it has gone the way of many things in the past. He used to have me strip and kneel when he came into my home or when I came into his home, and do an inspection. If I had been given time to prepare, I had to be shaved, have my teeth brushed (I was allowed a few minutes in the bathroom if we had eaten in the car or something), and be freshly showered. If it was after work or something he simply took a moment to look me over, make me feel like I was his property, and then let me rise.

We have a collaring ritual that helps put me in the right mindset for an evening out, to a BDSM function or such, but I think I need some ritual for daily interaction if we are to be full time again.

~E



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 7:52:19 PM)

I would think that maybe it needs to be kept a priority as much as any job or unmentionable activity..you may have to give up spontanaiety for good planning..but small price to pay...Tempting



Argentopal -> RE: Age old question (4/24/2007 8:33:00 PM)

We have a set morning ritual that was begun nearly 10 years ago.  it has morphed some and been added to for certain circumstances, but since morning is private and this is not loud or sexual, we can do it anyplace we are, even if we have family company.  We have  small ritual that can be done in front of anyone when he comes home - I get him a drink and take off his boots. (and boy after having his boots on all day I am always glad to get them off! lol)  At bed time we lay a certain way at first, no words-no sex, just laying that one way together and it ends our day.  I used to wear a leather collar to bed, but have not done it in a long time now as I have bad sinus at times and it sometimes wakes me up and the added feeling of a thing on my neck made me panicky when I was so stopped up I could not take a breath.  All small things but they sort of bracket or bookend our day and just keep some small focus.  There are other small things but those are always there.





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