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RE: Scary Stalker - 4/29/2007 5:41:30 AM

jayded34

Posts: 293
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

servilecat
please refer to private email i have sent you . i think you will feel a bit better!
Peace to you

_____________________________

You don't love a woman because she's beautiful,
She is beautiful because you love her.
~ by Anonymous ~

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~ by Lao Tzu ~

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 21

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/29/2007 6:01:53 AM

theGuideGoddess

Posts: 135
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Being an experienced stalkee the officers who worked my cases said that I should either feel very protected or very afraid. In the light of the unknown I would always recommend being proactive and notify authorities if he's made threats. Either additionally or otherwise Aileen68 gave excellent advice. It is always better to error on the side of caution.

The Guiding Goddess
All rights reserved.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 22

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/29/2007 9:35:20 AM

his2pet

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

servilecat,

As far as on CM. Why not change your screenname and not add your picture. At least then he can't stalk your thoughts and conversation. Just let your daddy answer the phone.

(in reply to servilecat)

Post #: 23

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/29/2007 9:44:41 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

Anti Stalking Website
http://www.antistalking.com/

CYBER-STALKING: OBSESSIONAL PURSUIT AND THE DIGITAL CRIMINAL
http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminology/cyberstalking/

Cyberstalking
http://www.cyberangels.org/stalking.html

Working to halt online abuse
http://www.haltabuse.org/help/index.shtml

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to his2pet)

Post #: 24

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/29/2007 9:48:29 AM

Donnalee

Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

There are some good books by Gavin deBecker on fear and stalkers and things like that. He's the guy who deals with all the celebrity stalkers and his theories make good sense.

What I remember most is "Engage and Enrage" ....don't engage them at all, get into snitfests and all that...it somehow fuels their twisted sense of a relationship.

He wrote a good book, The Gift of Fear, and in it tells how to trust your gut on these types of people...ALWAYS get safe if you feel any twinge of fear around them, no matter how odd it may feel to do so.

Good luck. Yes, he is insane, so don't count on logic to deal with him. It doesn't work.

_____________________________

Just through all of your ups and downs ... know that I love you dearly.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 25

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/29/2007 9:53:14 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

I posted this to another thread a while back, and am going to share it here since it sounds a bit like the situation with which you're dealing.

I was stalked for two years. He showed up at my house and threatened me via IM programs and emails. I'd had two dates with this man. I had not given him my home phone or told him where I live. I met him at a pier local to my home. He was a very nice looking man but there was just something off. After the second date I told him I wasn't willing to go out again. The harassing messages started that night. I changed my IDs and it took him less than a week to find them again. A couple of weeks after that, when my housemate was in Tx for a month, he showed up on my doorstep. (turns out he lived eight blocks away and after seeing me in my car on another occasion, followed me home.) He didn't knock or ring the bell. I became aware of him because of a noise the top step made. I looked out the peep hole and there he was. After watching for about 90 seconds (it took a while for me to process that not only was there someone standing in the dark on my front step, but that it was this man who had been threatening me) I got the phone, went to the back of the house and called the police. They were there within two minutes and caught him in the back alley, about two houses down from mine. He told the cops that he had just mistaken the house for one an old friend of his lived in. (This was 11:30 PM) As he wasn't "doing anything wrong at that time" they couldn't even detain him more than asking who he was and why he was there. They did record his name and it became part of the police record. After that, he became more vicious in his threats. I tried to be reasonable when he'd IM me. They say you're supposed to be very calm and sane with a crazy person, and from his threats and his actions, I was convinced he was not stable. He'd harass me heavily for two months or so, then disappear for three months. My housemate was vanilla and an ex boyfriend. I did not want him knowing my business.

Two years.. I lived with this hanging over my head, not knowing how to stop him and too embarrassed to go to the police or my housemate. I was definitely high strung on the subject after two years. If I was home alone, any noise made me check all the doors and windows. I'd not leave the house by myself after dark. I have to admit that by that time, I wasn't very stable myself. This guy found my new ID (yet again) and was in the process of IMing me about how he was going to rape me with a bottle until the bottle broke. Something snapped and I quit trying to be calm, reasonable or sane with this man. I told him that I had had enough. That I was going to print out every threat, email and IM that he had ever sent me, along with the photos I had of him. That I knew within two blocks where he lived and that I was going to take the photos and print outs door to door, telling people what he had been doing to me. When I found his apartment, I was going to tell his girlfriend what he had been doing (yes, this ass had a girlfriend) and then wait with her till he came home.. at which point we were going to slice off his dick and put it down the garbage disposal. My tirade came off to him as very serious because I meant every word of it. Yeah.. as I said I snapped. Hey, after two years you try keeping calm. At that, he tried to pass stalking me off as a joke!!! Aww, didn't I know we'd been playing a game? Cops called twice.. and it was a game?? I haven't heard one peep from the guy since.

The sad part is that this man got to victimize me for two years because I let him. I wasn't willing to out myself. Take action NOW, not in another year. You're being victimized. It is not legal. The sites I posted can help you with the process of dealing with him. Good Luck!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 26

RE: Scary Stalker - 5/1/2007 10:46:06 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I was stalked for months and months via the computer by a real life ex boyfriend. I had remained semi friendly with him after we broke up, but when I confided in him that I had a new boyfriend (my former dominant), and that we had met via yahoo chat and were in a LDR, the ex boyfriend (whom I had not seen in a year) started going to my favorite political chatroom to see who it was I was interested in. He stalked the poor guy. Sent him harassing and threatening IMs... flooded his ISP (this ex was computer savvy).

My former dom ordered me to contact him to get him to stop, and when that did not work, he insisted that I call the police.. but he was not technically stalking ME (oh he was smart, wasn't he?) he was stalking a stranger in another state.

So I understand the pain of this situation. My advice... ignore stalkers if you can by not feeding them... this thread is giving your stalker food. He is getting your attention... and that is exactly what he wants, isn't it?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to servilecat)

Post #: 27

RE: Scary Stalker - 5/1/2007 11:26:18 PM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

BeachMystress, same kinda thing happened to me. It didn't go on as long, only maybe 8 months but i finally had enough and when the idiot called me at 2 am to make his threat that he was going to shoot me through my bay window (i have one so i know he found out where i lived) i just snapped. Before then i just hung up on him and tried as best i could to ignore him, hard to do when he constantly told me he had a bullet with my name on it. i can be a real crank if i don't get my sleep or am woken up (since its so damned hard to fall asleep in the first place) so when he called i told him i was leaving the door open and to put his money where his mouth was... i also added i had a shot gun and that i was going to shove it up his ass and blow his *&$^%# head off... he left me alone after that. Stalkers are social misfits and cowards. They feed off of your fear. Don't allow them.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 28

RE: Scary Stalker - 5/4/2007 2:39:17 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greetings

i have a tail of how my sister husband became the nightmare of my life. he terrorize me so bad he would when she was at work not buy food i have sleep apeana and must get sleep spo my sister and she (i do not and can not ever drive) so i depend on them to bring in food. he kept her in the room so much i never got to tell her for a week this man no a boy made me so scare and he live in my home , he is a 6'4 260 not fat and he did things i had a angel he kick it so hard it went under the heavey soafe i have the leg part. i am still scare yes i am and my sister made him leave. i know he wanted to hurt me. he pour liquid soap in my chair and well. i am so i was so scare i told someone if something happen to me look at him. i never in my life been as scare as i was of this man. four month he did not speak or even look at me and the sad thing is i never did anything too him. he is gone now. i even have to go to my doctor i was so sick and scare. a stalker is so bad call the police. ( now i am dyslecix so please i hope you can read my writing> thanks for listening

mons

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 29

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/11/2008 4:45:20 AM

theGuideGoddess

Posts: 135
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

"I'm confused whenever people post these "stalker" threads, as to what the motive is.

If you're saying you'd wished you'd exercised more caution, that's good. "

OedipusRex
_____________________________
Interesting perspective there! Obviously you are confused. As if you believe anyone would and well should know someone was crazy or dangerous in advance of meeting. In spite of being capable of deciding that they were unsavory and unattractive within the first week....some how we've brought the stalker upon our selves??

I've had several stalkers in my life....it's scary at the least and nerve racking to boot. One was the father of a neighbor/occasional baby sitter (very sweet, wonderful, beautiful girl). Another I had never even met or had any contact with, he just watched me through the windows of my business. The third a man who saw me walking down the street. The fourth an internet wacko who is here on cm to this day.

Obviously it is with great ignorance and or forethought that you have made your statement. We do not provoke nor invite these individuals into our life. The illness is not ours to own. We just have to deal with the situation.

The police told me of one that I should either feel very protected or be very afraid. He had personal effects of mine that he had stolen from my home while I was at work. Besides putting a restraining order (basically an ineffective tool) on him there was little I could do. I studied psychology and the best weapon is knowledge of what is in THEIR heads. I installed security on my home and stopped all illegal entry. I bought a gun and became an expert marksman. I have a bow and a broad head (quieter tool than a gun). I will not live in fear of strangers.

As for stopping him, I’d try threats of public exposure for HIM. I might do a little research on him because knowledge is king(….or queen). As a governmental figure....what ever his status....it would be absolutely scandalous for him to be exposed. Next time he calls simply state that he should stop contacting you immediately. I know, you've probably said this in the past, but you need to restate it. That you have logged/recorded all of his calls, saved all of his emails and messages. The next time he contacts you his superiors will receive an envelope containing that documentation.
If not, start the gathering and then follow through. If you know his thought processes then use the threat of whatever would be most effective with him: What if his mom, family, neighbors knew?? Unless he does not value his position or he is plain stuck on stupid that should at least hold him at bay.

You know....it wouldn't surprise me at all if he was even married. IDIOT!

The Guiding Goddess

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)

Post #: 30

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/11/2008 4:54:36 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Call the telephone company and tell them you're being harassed. They can track his phone calls and then take the case to the police. Call your lawyer and have him send a cease and desist letter. Get callerID and block this guy's numbers.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 31

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/11/2008 9:39:54 AM

TermsConditions

Posts: 446
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

Edited to remove my post. After reviewing the thread my post did not add anything and might obscure better advice.

< Message edited by TermsConditions -- 4/11/2008 9:45:44 AM >

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TnC
Married, Novice Subbish-Type Person
and rider of the Drama Llama.

(in reply to servilecat)

Post #: 32

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/11/2008 10:41:37 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theGuideGoddess
"I'm confused whenever people post these "stalker" threads, as to what the motive is.

I'm confused when people resurrect threads that died a year ago.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to theGuideGoddess)

Post #: 33

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/11/2008 10:58:59 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

How you get rid of him is simple. You are ok with people knowing what you do, then report this to the police. First, gather evidence. If he messages you, save it. If he phones you, hopefully you have a caller ID, baring that I would record calls. And BTW, you might mention to your stalker you plan to record calls AND keep a record that you told him that. When you get enough, discuss this with your local sheriffs office.
He is doing it because he can. You have allowed him to pester you without challenging that for 18 months. He knows it bugs you and there is power in that. Cut the power. Let someone else handle it.
Clearly what you have done so far isn't working.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: servilecat

i don't care what the police know about me....besides i have lots of family in the law enforcement and they know i'm freaky. The question really is, why is a person i dated for one week over a year ago so insane? and...how do i get rid of him.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to servilecat)

Post #: 34

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/11/2008 11:25:18 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Old thread people.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 35

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/11/2008 12:38:13 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Change your phone number and yahoo ident.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to servilecat)

Post #: 36

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/11/2008 2:08:08 PM

amativedame

Posts: 331
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline

Urgh, wish I had read the date before I bothered responding. I hate it when posts are dragged from the dead.. even more so when its just because someone wants to up the post count.

< Message edited by amativedame -- 4/11/2008 2:10:24 PM >

_____________________________

Always remember that great love and great achievements both involve great risk.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 37

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/12/2008 8:33:33 PM

DreamyLadySnow

Posts: 359
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline

You can't 'fix' a stalker or make them stop. We have anti-stalking laws here, not sure about where you live. Make sure you keep track of all of his calls, and go to the cops. That is my advice - he is disturbed.

LS

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 38

RE: Scary Stalker - 4/13/2008 5:56:45 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Damn, I thought we were going to get an update.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to DreamyLadySnow)

Post #: 39

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