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RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/1/2007 8:41:47 PM

misfire

Posts: 55
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Greenville, SC
Status: offline

Like others have said, it's a matter of practicality. In my case, I still live at home and go to college, and he is graduating college in.. less than two weeks, by my count. There isn't a lot holding me here, except for college, and there's nothing holding him there. The area in and around Rochester doesn't have as much to offer him as the Carolinas do. He's moving in with me, but it's a temporary thing -- we're staying with my mom until we've saved enough to make our move and buy a house. (Yay for buyers' markets! Please don't change in the next few years! ;p) If I were to move up there, I'd have to make adjustments, sure, but he'd be miserable. He hates the harsh winter and the declining job market, and he loves it where I live; the job market's booming, the downtown area is inviting, and the climate is much more to his liking.

Maybe it's weird to other people that he relocates; for us, it's what works. And in the end, that's all that really matters. :)

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 81

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/1/2007 8:53:10 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

One word. Practicality.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Intertwined

greetings everyone,

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

sincerely Intertwined's slave

_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 82

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/2/2007 12:04:12 AM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

snipped
it is just one way. my point was that there must be SOMEthing concrete, something tangible, to drive home the reality of ownership, and that it cannot be solely a commitment bound by honor and devotion.

As a slave who is owned and committed to my Master I find this statement quite insulting. I do not need something concrete to make me feel or understand that I am owned. We have no signed contract, we do not need one. I came to him knowing that he owned me and that I could not walk away from him. My word is more important than a piece of paper. The one thing that always reminds me of my ownership is him. I need nothing more.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 83

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/2/2007 8:51:38 AM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Intertwined

greetings everyone,

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

sincerely Intertwined's slave

I can speak for myself. I am willing to relocate because my employment requires travel to contract locations and returning home. I have not yet decided where, geographically, I will settle for the long term. I am selling a home in the Pacific Northwest as I am tired of living in the desert.

I have traveled most of the country and no one place strikes me as worth making an effort to settle in. My choice of where to settle might well be decided more of who I will be near than where it will be.

Stefan

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 84

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/2/2007 8:59:15 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

snipped
it is just one way. my point was that there must be SOMEthing concrete, something tangible, to drive home the reality of ownership, and that it cannot be solely a commitment bound by honor and devotion.

As a slave who is owned and committed to my Master I find this statement quite insulting. I do not need something concrete to make me feel or understand that I am owned. We have no signed contract, we do not need one. I came to him knowing that he owned me and that I could not walk away from him. My word is more important than a piece of paper. The one thing that always reminds me of my ownership is him. I need nothing more.

Agreed. Perhaps others require something more to realize they are owned, but not all of us do.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to susie)

Post #: 85

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/2/2007 9:03:44 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Okay, scenario:

A submissive that is a succesful Doctor with her own practice, making well over 6 figures, has an oceanview condo and a lot a real estate holdings in the area.

Do you honestly think she should move to Idaho to be with a Dom that makes 1/10 of what she does at a job he can do anywhere? She should give up her practice that she's spent years building? And what happens if that relationship goes south?

Sometimes things require a little more common sense thought rather than relying on someone's labels to make life altering decisions.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 86

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/2/2007 9:59:14 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Okay, scenario:

A submissive that is a succesful Doctor with her own practice, making well over 6 figures, has an oceanview condo and a lot a real estate holdings in the area.

Do you honestly think she should move to Idaho to be with a Dom that makes 1/10 of what she does at a job he can do anywhere? She should give up her practice that she's spent years building? And what happens if that relationship goes south?

Sometimes things require a little more common sense thought rather than relying on someone's labels to make life altering decisions.

The answers to your questions really depend upon whether you desire to live the real deal or the fantasy version. There is no need for common sense on the "s" type's part if it's the real deal you are desiring. In that case, common sense really isn't yours to have or exercise. Gosh, haven't you learned that by now?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 87

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/2/2007 10:11:35 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Intertwined

greetings everyone,

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

sincerely Intertwined's slave

Oh, its obvious. We are all poor, without jobs and will jump on any sub with money, unlike what happened in your relationship where the Dom is wealthy.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 88

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/3/2007 6:33:23 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

ExSteel, your quote about the cross country trip in a convertible got me to thinking about something.

We would not take a cross country road trip without throwing a spare tire in the trunk....just in case. We would not take that trip without fastening our seatbelts....just in case. It's not that we are preparing for impending doom or are expecting the worst....it's just that we are using common sense and trying to be prepared for all of the possibilities.

I don't see why we would view our approach to relationships in a different manner. Throwing all caution to the wind or expecting such from a partner is not an indicator of level of commitent...it's not an indicator of level of submission or dominance. It is not an indicator of trust or faith in the "rightness" of the relationship.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 89

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/3/2007 6:35:00 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Throwing all caution to the wind or expecting such from a partner is not an indicator of level of commitent...it's not an indicator of level of submission or dominance. It is not an indicator of trust or faith in the "rightness" of the relationship.

It may be an indication of desperation.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 90

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/3/2007 6:52:21 AM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline

Master Archer and I met in Texas almost 9 years ago.

About 2 years after we met my ex was transferred to Atlanta. One of our divorce agreements was that is he got transferred he would pay for my move also and compensate me for up to a year while I job searced. This was all because we share 50/50 custody. We are a family albeit a divorced family. Master knew of this stipulation.

Master Archer chose to leave his job in Texas and join me in Atlanta. He stayed in Texas for almost a year before he did move....the finish some job obligations, allow the kidlets to get acclimated to the moving change before we started living together, etc. He then left his job, left Dallas and came to Atlanta....and it took him almost 8 months to get another job.

Why did he do this? His words "I have invested too much in my slave not to be with her."

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 91

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/3/2007 7:24:40 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Do you honestly think she should move to Idaho to be with a Dom that makes 1/10 of what she does at a job he can do anywhere? She should give up her practice that she's spent years building? And what happens if that relationship goes south?

Personally I don't think anyone SHOULD do anything. Which was my main point- there is nothing in the nature of being a dominant or a submissive which somehow mandates who SHOULD move.

However, I can completely understand a slave choosing to give up the practice she's spent years building. I gave up being able to see my nephews and mother pretty much any time I wanted to move to start my life with my partner- and I'm not even his slave.

Whoever moves for whatever reason- it should be because it's what works for everyonve involved and what they really feel is right for them. This of course includes long term prospects and consequences.

But I'm fine with an adult making drastic changes to their life to further a relationship. Most of the time on collarme I advise against it- but that doesn't mean it's always wrong, and it certainly doesn't mean they shouldn't make those choices.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 92

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/3/2007 8:16:46 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

ExSteel, your quote about the cross country trip in a convertible got me to thinking about something.

We would not take a cross country road trip without throwing a spare tire in the trunk....just in case. We would not take that trip without fastening our seatbelts....just in case. It's not that we are preparing for impending doom or are expecting the worst....it's just that we are using common sense and trying to be prepared for all of the possibilities.

I don't see why we would view our approach to relationships in a different manner. Throwing all caution to the wind or expecting such from a partner is not an indicator of level of commitent...it's not an indicator of level of submission or dominance. It is not an indicator of trust or faith in the "rightness" of the relationship.

for some of us, preparing for the "just in case" and having an emergency out would negate the relationship in the first place. here i'm speaking specifically of M/s because that's what i know from my own experience, but i have known those in nonownership D/s unions who feel the same. it's not about throwing all caution to the wind or being lacking in common sense. it's about recognizing and accepting the fact that as a slave your life is no longer your own, and that you belong to someone now. as a Master it is about acknowledging the fact that your control cannot be merely symbolic in nature, that it must be real and tangible.

but there are many who have no desire for such a dynamic, and that is fine as well.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 93

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/3/2007 8:36:26 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
for some of us, preparing for the "just in case" and having an emergency out would negate the relationship in the first place. here i'm speaking specifically of M/s because that's what i know from my own experience, but i have known those in nonownership D/s unions who feel the same. it's not about throwing all caution to the wind or being lacking in common sense. it's about recognizing and accepting the fact that as a slave your life is no longer your own, and that you belong to someone now. as a Master it is about acknowledging the fact that your control cannot be merely symbolic in nature, that it must be real and tangible.

but there are many who have no desire for such a dynamic, and that is fine as well.

What I am saying is that while that may be your personal (or others) philosophy and it works for you, it is not an accurate barometer by which we can rate what constitutes what is or is not a Master/slave relationship or the level of such a relationship. That would be tantamount to saying that slaves are slaves because they are willing to drink the Kool Aid, and those who are not willing are either not slaves or not as commited as those who are.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 94

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/3/2007 12:24:19 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Intertwined

greetings everyone,

I am curious as to why so mant Doms on collarme are willing to relocate. I think I always beleived it should be the submissive that relocates. Just wondering is all.

sincerely Intertwined's slave

I know a dom on here who says he is willing to relocate in a few years when he retires, and he is married, go figure.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Intertwined)

Post #: 95

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/3/2007 1:17:47 PM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

for some of us, preparing for the "just in case" and having an emergency out would negate the relationship in the first place. here i'm speaking specifically of M/s because that's what i know from my own experience, but i have known those in nonownership D/s unions who feel the same. it's not about throwing all caution to the wind or being lacking in common sense. it's about recognizing and accepting the fact that as a slave your life is no longer your own, and that you belong to someone now. as a Master it is about acknowledging the fact that your control cannot be merely symbolic in nature, that it must be real and tangible.

but there are many who have no desire for such a dynamic, and that is fine as well.

As I said previously I am owned but I do not need anything tangible as in physical or written to recognize or accept his ownership. I do not have a collar or written contract as I have never needed one. I have no limits with him as it is something he does not believe in. Does that mean that in your eyes we do not have a true Master / slave relationship because I do not need anything other than His dominance to prove that he owns me?

I gave him my word when we got together that I was his and that is all that either of us needed. He knows that I would never break my word to him and that his ownership of me is total.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 96

RE: Am curious as to why... - 5/3/2007 2:13:23 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

susie, collars are just physical symbols, they are not necessary to show one is owned. likewise with contracts (which i actually kind find of pointless and redundant in M/s). that's not the sort of thing i was referring to at all. i am also not saying that honor or one's word is meaningless, because it's not. just that for some of us there must be more in order to solidify the ownership. i gave myself to my Master, i am bound to him by honor and the commitment i made. i would never, ever dream of going back on that. however if i did (say i lost my mind, had a lobotomy, something to that effect), i would still be bound to him because of the measures he took to keep me under his control and utterly dependent. and that knowledge, that i am his until he says otherwise, whether i like it or not, is what makes me feel secure in the dynamic.

(in reply to susie)

Post #: 97

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