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What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 4:43:07 AM

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
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Over the past year or so, my sex drive has trickled away to nearly nothing. I mean I can hardly feel sexual anymore, and I am not happy with that! Here are the details:

- I'm 37 yo with regular periods and no other physical changes, no sign of perimenopause that I can see
- I'm happier now with my life than I've ever been before, everything is going very well for me
- I don't feel depressed; I haven't lost interest in things, I'm not having bad moods, I'm eating and sleeping ok
- I have scheduled a physical exam with the doctor, but there's a waiting list of six months and I want to do something about this before October if possible
- I'm not on any medications or vitamins, but I've been on Depo for 9 months; before that I was on the Pill
- I'm in love with my husband, and find him attractive and a great lover, and have no complaints in that department

- I've been unable to sustain any erotic fantasies, or become aroused by any means that used to work every time for me; nor can I find any new fantasies or stimuli that do anything for me anymore (and I used to have intense sexual fantasies every day of my life in the past)
- I can still reach orgasm by masturbating, but only barely, and when it finally happens it feels like no more than a hiccup; there's a mild physical release but there's no erotic pleasure in it
- I used to be extremely sexual from a very young age, and have never been sexually abused in any way or had any sexual problems before this
- I still enjoy sex, but it's become entirely an emotional enjoyment of pleasing my partner and being loved; all the intensity has become emotional only, and the physical pleasure is missing
- The only other thing I've noticed is that I've also been feeling sluggish, heavy, and mentally kind of dull - having difficulty thinking quickly or clearly

I'd appreciate all responses and suggestions, but especially those of anyone experienced in the health or psychology fields. Please help, I hate this so much and it doesn't feel like myself!

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 5:09:28 AM

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline

First..I am shocked that you have to wait 6 months to see a Dr.
That's crazy.

In the mean time..anything that can get those muscles working cant hurt.
Do "kegals".
And I know this is going to sound odd ,but practise getting to that edge,just before you come..
and then stop for a minute..and do it again.
Orgasms take muscles like anything else.
You can feel the muscles that run down along side your clit into your lips.
Focus on those muscles.If you can get your partner to help that would be wonderful.
But you can do this solo.
You must never pretend to orgsm though.
If your partner doesnt know there is a problem you arent giving him the chance to share that with you.
You know..sometimes we women get trapped into that Madonna /Whore mindset
that a lot of men get,where deep down we feel that to be a good girl we musn't enjoy sex.
And then there is the possibility that you simply may not be as sexual as you were when you were younger because you are simply made this way.
If that's the case you need to know that it's okay.
Hugs,
Red

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 5:36:15 AM

Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline

A very dear friend went through much of the same as you have described, the only noticeable difference would be that she found herself needing to sleep more, and being more tired than usual......exams and tests showed a thyroid problem.....after finally getting the correct dose of meds she says she feels like herself again.......if nothing else perhaps something you can research in the meantime while you wait for the ridiculous 6 mo. appt. To my knowledge there is nothing one can do for any type of thyroidism besides taking a prescription drug.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

Over the past year or so, my sex drive has trickled away to nearly nothing. I mean I can hardly feel sexual anymore, and I am not happy with that! Here are the details:

- I'm 37 yo with regular periods and no other physical changes, no sign of perimenopause that I can see
- I'm happier now with my life than I've ever been before, everything is going very well for me
- I don't feel depressed; I haven't lost interest in things, I'm not having bad moods, I'm eating and sleeping ok
- I have scheduled a physical exam with the doctor, but there's a waiting list of six months and I want to do something about this before October if possible
- I'm not on any medications or vitamins, but I've been on Depo for 9 months; before that I was on the Pill
- I'm in love with my husband, and find him attractive and a great lover, and have no complaints in that department

- I've been unable to sustain any erotic fantasies, or become aroused by any means that used to work every time for me; nor can I find any new fantasies or stimuli that do anything for me anymore (and I used to have intense sexual fantasies every day of my life in the past)
- I can still reach orgasm by masturbating, but only barely, and when it finally happens it feels like no more than a hiccup; there's a mild physical release but there's no erotic pleasure in it
- I used to be extremely sexual from a very young age, and have never been sexually abused in any way or had any sexual problems before this
- I still enjoy sex, but it's become entirely an emotional enjoyment of pleasing my partner and being loved; all the intensity has become emotional only, and the physical pleasure is missing
- The only other thing I've noticed is that I've also been feeling sluggish, heavy, and mentally kind of dull - having difficulty thinking quickly or clearly

I'd appreciate all responses and suggestions, but especially those of anyone experienced in the health or psychology fields. Please help, I hate this so much and it doesn't feel like myself!

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 7:01:06 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

You may not be going into menopause yet, but our metabolisms change often in our lives.
Sometimes it's a chemical change in the brain & sometimes it's hormones your body produces.
The only constant about the human body and it's checks and balances we have is it constantly is changing.
I'd recommend you going to a good health food store in your area and asking the herbalist there for recommended products to detoxify your system, boost your metabolism and rescue your libido.
If it's just time moves on and things change this will help tremendously.
If it's medical and something's amiss it won't hurt you to have the herbal remedy's.
Another thing is get your environment set before you masturbate or have sex with your husband.
A nice hot bath where you masturbate in some wonderfully scented bath stuff, candles, incense, massage, and starting slow and gentle then building speeds and pressures slowly may help you be in a more relaxed mindset for things.
There's this wonderful little egg shaped vibrator sold by penthouse in most toy stores in this area with a wire connected speed control. It says skin like feel and runs about $12-15.
Try having that right under your clit so the bottom of the egg is right at the opening to your pussy when you screw your husband.
The vibration hits your clit, your urethra and causes the vibrations to run through his penis too.
Maybe some major stimulation and intense banging combined can heighten the experience with your husband and add a new twist to check out.

I hope you get over the hump of this soon & best of luck and positive energy to you,
suzanne.

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 7:51:07 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Decreased libido is very common with the use of Depo.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 8:25:45 AM

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Decreased libido is very common with the use of Depo.

Is it, really?! That's something no one ever mentioned. Hmmm I will have to look into that.

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 8:37:33 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Decreased libido is very common with the use of Depo.

Is it, really?! That's something no one ever mentioned. Hmmm I will have to look into that.

Yes it is. When I first went on Depo I noticed it almost immediately. It gradually got worse...to the point I went back in to see my physician. I explained to him that since I had begun taking it I had seen a gradual decrease and it had gotten to the point that I really didn't care if I ever had sex again.....something that was just SOOOOO unlike me. He explained to me that it was a very common side effect and that sometimes it works itself out over time. In my case, within a few more months I was right back to my old horny self....but for some it doesn't get better but continues to get worse.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 8:42:47 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

Here is a link:

http://www.alternet.org/story/12087/

There are literally hundreds of articles on the subject available. Do a search on "decreased libido and depo".

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 4/27/2007 8:43:46 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 9:01:17 AM

Posts: 5
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

This one believes it is the side effects of Depo causing your problem.

(in reply to mistoferin)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 9:59:19 AM

Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Thanks very much everyone, and I will definitely be looking up everything about Depo now thanks mistoferin! It really is so unlike me that I can't imagine it not being a side-effect of something else, either Depo or thyroid problems or something like that. You've all been fantastic help!

(in reply to Sxyshellysue)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 10:41:51 AM

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

Although you say you don't feel depressed, the last few symptoms you mention seem as if you might be. Dont discount depression.

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 11:40:29 AM

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I agree with the depo most likely being the cause. I know when I was on it my sex drive decreased to nothing also. It took me almost a full yr after quiting for my sex drive to return to normal.

aurora

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 12:52:23 PM

Posts: 15
Joined: 3/25/2007
Status: offline

do not take this the wrong way, but boy am i glad im not the only one with this problem was beginning to think i was weird, i find since being on the depo my libido has gone haywire its not the act itself its getting started, most of the time i really cant be bothered, im seriously thinking of getting sterilised now as the only other contraceptive i was offered was the mini pill ,was going to go for it till i found out you can fall pregnant on it if you dont take it exactly same time every day and im not a good time keeper,as much as i would have loved another kid im to scared as last one was very premature and i nearly lost him so looks like its going to be sterilisation for me,i well beleive you when you said it would take 6 mths to see some one i got told a yr and a 1/2 even though i told them i had the sexdrive of some1 thats dead lol

(in reply to aurora31)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/27/2007 12:55:52 PM

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Joined: 3/25/2007
Status: offline

oops that was for NakedGirlScout

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/28/2007 4:45:14 AM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedGirlScout

- I'm not on any medications or vitamins, but I've been on Depo for 9 months; before that I was on the Pill

Bingo. My money is on the contraceptive.

These rather universally rely on messing up your hormones. Try adding some testosterone, either as a gel (use a tiny fraction of what a man would use; you're looking for about 300µg in a day, not the male dose of 25000µg-100000µg) or as a patch (Intrinsa delivers 300µg over 24 hours).

If that doesn't work, you can try adding dopaminergics. D2-specific agonists (e.g. cabergoline) are the usual candidates, although they can have some nasty, but rare, side-effects, and some potentially unpleasant, but common, side-effects. Bupropion (wellbutrin/zyban) is sometimes used for this purpose as well, although I have no personal experience with it. Amineptine (survector) will apparently tend to do the trick as well; again, no personal experience, and it's a scheduled substance, available by special application only. If your doc approves, and your health can support it, you could possibly get amphetamines or other CNS stimulants for this purpose, but they have a slew of side effects for many people.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 4/28/2007 4:49:23 AM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

Although you say you don't feel depressed, the last few symptoms you mention seem as if you might be. Dont discount depression.

"Do not needlessly multiply entities", or as it's more commonly phrased, "The simplest explanation will suffice".

The last few symptoms can be present with just about anything, including, but in no way limited to, depression. In this case, Depo will suffice as an explanation. It may be messing up her testosterone levels, which will certainly explain those symptoms, and will most likely be corrected by adding testosterone or switching Depo for a condom.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 5/2/2007 4:28:34 AM

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/15/2006
Status: offline

Probability one: Depo side effects, probability two only: thyroid hypofunction, I'd think.
I would fully look into the Depo probability, as switching birthcontrol methods is a simple way to find out (although it may take a lot of patience; see below).
Thyroid hypofunction is much more complicated than just decreased levels of TH or pituitary TSH. It can be a periferal conversion problem of T4 into T3 (T3 is the active form of Thyroid Hormone) or a transporter protein problem (TBG, TTR, albumin). If birthcontrol is not the problem and you seem to have thyroid hypofunction, go to the best endocrinologist you can find before being put on Thyroid Hormone substitution right away.

These links might be supportive:

http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/birthcontrol/a/depoproverabc.htm >> Are Depo side effects temporary?

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/84/98116.htm . Good interview/article! ("drastically negative effects on libido . . . strongly suppressive of the body's own hormones . . . return of libido can take up to nine months . . . often supplement these patients with testosterone to hasten recovery" . Do not experiment with testosterone on you own, please, even if you can get it around the corner these days. Medical guidance stuff only.

http://www.partnertherapy.com/node/74 . Rather drastic discussion of Depo, (even intended) loss of libido, and its use as a means of chemical castration.

Lots of success and be well soon!

K/R

(in reply to Aswad)

RE: What happened to my libido? Help! - 5/2/2007 7:28:34 AM

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
These rather universally rely on messing up your hormones. Try adding some testosterone, either as a gel (use a tiny fraction of what a man would use; you're looking for about 300µg in a day, not the male dose of 25000µg-100000µg) or as a patch (Intrinsa delivers 300µg over 24 hours).

If that doesn't work, you can try adding dopaminergics. D2-specific agonists (e.g. cabergoline) are the usual candidates, although they can have some nasty, but rare, side-effects, and some potentially unpleasant, but common, side-effects. Bupropion (wellbutrin/zyban) is sometimes used for this purpose as well, although I have no personal experience with it. Amineptine (survector) will apparently tend to do the trick as well; again, no personal experience, and it's a scheduled substance, available by special application only. If your doc approves, and your health can support it, you could possibly get amphetamines or other CNS stimulants for this purpose, but they have a slew of side effects for many people.

I really don't think that it would be wise to undertake a regimen of medications without the advice and supervision of a qualfied medical professional.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Aswad)

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