On taking a hike

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On taking a hike - 5/28/2004 9:32:56 AM

painslutMaster

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Recently I met a slave who by her very handle, as well as her words and promises, suggests she is a true painslut, and was looking to prove herself worthy of wearing the collar and serving a Master or Mistress . She lives only about a half hour from me, and for the sake of getting the most out of the time we had on our initial visit, we made arrangements to meet near her place, and subsequently went to her house.

In short, gave her the pain she needed and was looking for, amidst her reassurance that she would do anything to prove herself to me and to show me she was worthy of being my slave. And, in fact, she did show that she was worthy and what I wanted. We were supposed to meet at my place for the weekend with my other two slaves and she did the disappearing act and made some excuse about having to work for her father, which she had told me earlier, she had taken care of and that her schedule would be totally free for me that weekend.

I asked her to explain her actions and if all the words she was saying to me were just an act. She never responded. She found the time to chat and email one of my slaves, but never gave that consideration to me. I know there are many fakes and posers in this lifestyle...just seems like such a monumental waste of time to take the time to meet, interact, profess how much you loved it and want it and then just split, with no explanation that makes any sense. At the very least, is very frustrating. Why don't people understand that it isn't that tough to just be who you are and say what you honestly feel, instead of becoming a game player and pissing everyone off whose time you ultimately waste?

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RE: On taking a hike - 5/28/2004 10:02:45 AM

January

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Did your painslut know you were poly from the outset?

Did she promise to see you again whilst flying?

Is is possible she really did have to work that weekend, and is hurt that you didn't trust her?

I'm wondering if it's possible if you and your painslut might have vastly differing ideas as to what a slave is. (In other words, are your expectations of commitment inherent in slavery {or play slavery?} different than hers?)

I guess I'm also hoping others on the board will help me understand the concept of a part-time slave. Or help me understand what a Cyberslave is, for that matter.

January

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[link: http://www.bookstrand.com/miss-you-sir] Miss You, Sir by January Rowe is available from Siren now! It's my latest smokin' hot bdsm romance.[/link]

(in reply to painslutMaster)

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RE: On taking a hike - 5/28/2004 10:35:07 AM

ScorpioMaster

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I agree with you painslutMaster to many players and wantabees are mudding up the water. We are getting to the point of playing games on the net and it gets old after a while. I am always honest upfront on what I want but the truth is thier are too many think they want this lifestyle. Then when they get the chance to experience for real they get scare and run. The best way to do with any one for the first time is take it slow and easy.

(in reply to painslutMaster)

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RE: On taking a hike - 5/28/2004 2:02:23 PM

Sinergy

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One of the main reasons I left the lifestyle for a long time was because I did not really know many people who had relationships which lasted longer than a month or two.

I tried what I saw many others doing which was the BDSM checklist, discussions of compatibility in scenes, etc., when I was active before. What I did not do was take the time to discover if the person was somebody I would enjoy being with when I was not scening them. So the approach I have decided to use is to incorporate vanilla dating rituals and BDSM. I want to know who this person really is from a relationship perspective before delving into the BDSM side of it.

From what you stated, Painslutmaster, it went directly from meeting in cyberspace directly to play. While I do agree that there are many "players" out there, I also know (having worked in cyberspace since the 1980s) that the anonymity of this particular communication medium can tend to lend itself to dishonesty, either to other people or to oneself. Perhaps it might work if you took more time getting to know the person before scening / having sex with them.

As usual, this is just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

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(in reply to ScorpioMaster)

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RE: On taking a hike - 5/28/2004 2:04:26 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

We are getting to the point of playing games on the net and it gets old after a while.

You do not know me well enough to include me in the group of people playing games on the net. I feel it is rather disrespectful to me to include me (your use of the term "we") in that group. Please refrain from doing so in the future.

Thank you,

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

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RE: On taking a hike - 5/28/2004 8:35:39 PM

rain

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painslutMaster,

i had a similar experience to yours recently, (look in "Ask a Master" - the topic is Domly behavior?)

In my particular case, we talked a few times before meeting in person, then, when we met in person, it was at a coffeeshop, then we scheduled a "play date," and played together once. We had scheduled another time to meet, but he never called to confirm, reschedule OR cancel.

i sent a polite email, and a week later he responded by saying, in essence, that he did not feel comfortable playing with someone that he wasn't also involved with emotionally.

i'm not justifying his behavior, but instead i want to point out that although sometimes a person may FEEL ready, they may reassess and decide that- for whatever reason- they can't do it, or it doesn't work for them.

Is this frustrating, yes, however, we are all human. Perhaps just give her some time, and she will communicate to you what happened...and perhaps not....sometimes we all need space.

Good luck to you.

~rain~

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RE: On taking a hike - 5/28/2004 9:14:01 PM

Estring

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Sinergy, why would you think that the "we" that Scorpio used was referring to you. He was using "we" in a general sense. If it doesn't apply to you, where is the problem? It amazes me what people get annoyed by sometimes.

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RE: On taking a hike - 5/28/2004 11:42:02 PM

MasterZues

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I would say obviously she met him and for some reason chose not to continue, why? One night stand? uhmm she did not really mean she was a slave? Because we do the control thing we are immune to the normal human behavior that prevails in society?

hehehe really, we are not above nor immune to the same games all people play in their relationships and meetings. she got what she wanted(her jollies) crossed you off the list and went on to the next.

I am sure your the first it ever happened to. ;)

(in reply to Estring)

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RE: On taking a hike - 5/29/2004 1:09:08 AM

Sinergy

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WE
pron.

Used by the speaker or writer to indicate the speaker or writer along with another or others as the subject: We made it to the lecture hall on time. We are planning a trip to Arizona this winter.

www.onlinedictionary.com

I did not indicate I was annoyed. Was trying to indicate that using infinitives such as "we" dilutes the central message, which was a valid one.

-- Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to painslutMaster)

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RE: On taking a hike - 5/29/2004 1:29:02 PM

MistressDREAD

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it is obvious
painslutMaster
she is no slave
but a masocist
submissive or Switch.
her actions show
this plainly. write
it off as a one nite
scene and move on.
no use wasting Your
time on that which
is not what You seek.
submissives can abuse
Dominants as well and
concider Your self lucky
that she hasent had more
contact then she has with
You and Yours. Id refuse
her to have any contact
with My slaves as she could
corrupt Your current Home
as it stands now if let. I
know You will make the right
decision on this One, and
I am sorry that You had to
experiance such an abuse
and thankYou for being Domly
enough to post such a thing to
have happen to You so that
others can know that it is not
just subs and slaves that are
used, abused, then thrown away.
Might I suggest posting this same
story in Your journel and the name
alone with it so that others reading
Your Journal might know whom has
acted with DisHonor and no Integrity
for their thrills to be full filled and
determine for Their Own selfs if this
is a person They would like to interact
with. Of course there are always two
sides to a story and I would be the first
to hear it out but Your words ecko many
such stories I have heard from many Dom/mes
of the same such things happening to Them

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