reduction in limits

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

reduction in limits

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> reduction in limits

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 9:36:33 AM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

so i was thinking..
wondering really... does anyone hold certain activites in reserve for thier ownership?

do you put things onto your limit list (that you would willingly tolerate, or actually like, or lust for) that you feel should be help back for the intimacy of a closer bond and relationship? if so, why, can you share what they are.

i know a good number of us will take on the limits of our owners and toss our own out the door. that really isnt where i am coming from on this. i mean more from the stand point of activites that you just feel HE or SHE or THEY should have more privilege to than just any ole body.

thank you
lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 9:48:06 AM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

i guess i could have answered my own dang question.. duh moment. this is one thing i do. my limits when i am playing/bottoming (which i rarely ever do) are pretty standard but much longer than i ever anticipated. partly due to the fact that i do feel there are certain things they ought to get to have access to first. call me a romantic if you will, but that is me..

love and light
lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to leakylee)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 9:51:05 AM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

Mmmmmmmmm....regardless of coming at this from a submissive or Toppy side...I can answer that the first time I play; I always play 'lite'; limits are miles down the road. I almost always play the first time in public, too; either at a local dungeon or at a private party...others are around so everybody is safe.

For me, some of the more intimate things are saved for just that; intimate relationships. Masturbation, oral sex, insertables, intercourse, anal sex for either person; all such things are impossible for me with someone with whom I'm not yet intimate. And those things take time.

I'm a big fan of 'kicking tires'...but not such a big fan of fucking everybody I run into. Yanno? So yes, I have sexual limits AND limits on edgy stuff that take an immense amount of trust when just playing casually.

Is that what you meant?
B

(in reply to leakylee)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 10:20:27 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I don't call them limits, but there are things I do only within the confines of a particular relationship.

Which is pretty much true for everything we do, vanilla or kinky- there is no one set of standard behavior which we would use for every person in every context. Each individual relationship creates its own boundaries and comfort zones.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 10:54:03 AM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

it is Bearlee,
but i also meant things that we might hold exclusively aside from a play relationship but wouldnt for a D/s or M/s relationship.

one of mine is blood. even if the danger wasnt so high, to me that is something that falls within the somewhat sacred range that not just any ole person ought to have options too.

make better sense

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to leakylee)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 11:21:48 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

I have things that I would readily do with my boy that are big limits with regard to what I will do with my maid. And there are things that I would like to do that I wont do yet because I havent got to the stage in my relationship with my boy where I would feel completely ok about doing it. My non changing limits will always remain at snuff, skat, children, animals.
I think most people will have things they will hold back with with different people.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to leakylee)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 11:53:29 AM

MakeItTight

Posts: 9
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I agree with you that an intimate relationship should offer more than a casual one. Maybe not because the intimate one deserves more, but from my perspective it's because the casual one deserves less. I'm somewhat of a romantic and really wouldn't feel and desire to test boundaries with anyone whom I wasn't emotionally involved with. Then again I'm also new to the lifestyle, and maybe these views change with time...?

(in reply to canupleaseme)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 12:18:36 PM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

it is Bearlee,
but i also meant things that we might hold exclusively aside from a play relationship but wouldnt for a D/s or M/s relationship.

one of mine is blood. even if the danger wasnt so high, to me that is something that falls within the somewhat sacred range that not just any ole person ought to have options too.

make better sense

Well, if I didn’t make myself clear, any Play Relationship (BDSM or no) wouldn’t include sex or blood; nor so many other things one associates with D/s and M/s…such a 'play' relationship would be just too casual for me.

Sure, I might tie a person up, or flog ‘em for an hour and a half…I might even tie up & torture genitals; but actual sex and penetration and blood and water sports, and a bunch of other stuff I thoroughly enjoy, would be no part of said…casual play.

B

(in reply to leakylee)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 12:36:11 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

so i was thinking..
wondering really... does anyone hold certain activites in reserve for thier ownership?

do you put things onto your limit list (that you would willingly tolerate, or actually like, or lust for) that you feel should be help back for the intimacy of a closer bond and relationship? if so, why, can you share what they are.

i know a good number of us will take on the limits of our owners and toss our own out the door. that really isnt where i am coming from on this. i mean more from the stand point of activites that you just feel HE or SHE or THEY should have more privilege to than just any ole body.

thank you
lee

Fox has hard limits for others that are not in effect for me. The best example are knives -- he would beat the crap anyone who even brought out a knife to scene with him; he submits to one of my great loves, knife play, whenever I wish and sometimes offers it himself.

Why does he not have the same limits with me as with others? Trust, time, and love.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to leakylee)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: reduction in limits - 4/30/2007 1:14:52 PM

earthycouple

Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline

As a Dominant I will not engage in intercourse with play partners. That is saved for the special perfect submissive who wears my collar and has earned such honor.

D~

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 10